


REPEAT?

by Hikari



Category: Digimon - All Media Types, Digimon Adventure, Digimon Adventure Zero Two | Digimon Adventure 02, Digimon Adventure tri.
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Anxiety, Archaeology, Background Relationships, Character Development, Depression, Developing Relationship, Disability, Drama, Healing, Introspection, M/M, Multi, Multiverse, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Physical Disability, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psuedo Character Deaths, Psychological Drama, Psychological Horror, Scars, Serious Injuries, Smut, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-27 01:16:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 43
Words: 30,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14414505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hikari/pseuds/Hikari
Summary: Taichi wasn't sure what he was expecting. ...He just knew it wasn't... this...





	1. 1 (WARNING)

**Author's Note:**

> this is loosely based on an amv/anime music video parody I made recently over here on tumblr, which in turn was loosely based on not only the fanmade "Kagerou Days" Vocaloid-originating music video [which later turned into a portion of the "Mekakucity Actors" anime series and "Kagerou Daze" manga and novels / "Kagerou Project"]) but specifically on the main bulk of the timeloops-specific portion of this psuedo-fic idea:  
> http://izzyizumi.tumblr.com/post/172915493215/  
> (please see that post and the fic outline mentioned in the end notes for further details!)  
> however, please note that this is NOT particularly an exact "Kagerou Days" parody/crossover itself, and is more like a general "timeloops AU" that took inspiration from the video / my amv.  
> (...as said, please read the fic outline for more details, it'll become clearer. there'll be spoilers if you do, though)
> 
> \- something like a timeloops AU meets a college AU meets an archaeologist Koushiro AU meets a nevermet Taishiro AU meets a "Kagerou Days" (Wannyanpuu version) parody ??? (idek either just my mind somehow tied all this together and here we go)  
> \- there may (will) be consensual nsfw/a smut scene/references in a future chapter (kind of) (it's mainly plot related though, at least??)  
> \- there is sort of violence too (mainly psuedo character deaths but also because Digimon) but it is also overall plot-related so...  
> \- there is background Sorato (Yamato/Sora) referenced as well, but it's not a major plot point and they're only referenced once earlier on and a few times towards the end  
> \- various parts of this are definitely canon compliant [Japanese version, pre-Tri ? mostly Adventure] but as for which ones and how much, well...  
> \- as for the rest, keep reading to find out ??  
> \- Koushiro kind of has a scars kink ??? (um. can you blame him considering his state here?-)  
> (also Taichi kind of does too but he has a major kink for Koushiro overall so it's more like a Koushiro kink???)  
> \- I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING IT'S BEEN YEARS AND YEARS SINCE I WROTE A SERIOUS LONGFIC THAT WASN'T MY CHILDHOOD OC DIGIMON FIC OR WRITING THAT WASN'T FANDOM RPing H E L P  
> \- (please just... forgive my rustiness)  
> \- this is more like psuedo-fic thoughts on Taishiro, Koushiro, and Taichi turned into sort-of-fic but I tried  
> \- I might be posting some "chapters"/sections out of "chronological" order  
> (partly because some things I'm still working on; partly because it's the order I wrote them in; partly for like... mystery intrigue??)  
> (partly also because some general timeloops thoughts come from the anime series "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya" too, I admit, though it has no major/specific relation here haha)  
> \- there will probably be bad smut implications and bad writing (I TRIED) just. holds my head in my hands  
> \- (also fyi: Taichi in this college AU-specific portion is pretty close to finishing a fourth+ (?) year by now/able to transfer to even further higher education or such. I’ll have to figure this one out exactly but let’s say for now he was kinda working on a degree, but not being super serious about it due to sudden indecisiveness and possibly changing course, like in Tri. [also: I actually have a close family member who became a lawyer, and yeah, their education took. a long time. like, he was well into his mid-30s, and the exams are extremely hard and easy to fail more than once even and time-consuming, so I tend to think about that if I go for a law related career or a connected career for Taichi…] either way, they’re much closer to 25+. Supposing Taichi took his time, possibly even a bit older.)

Taichi Yagami. A bored (??) (???) college student with nothing extreme going on in his life other than school, his friends (two of the best of which have been starting to _date_ lately, so it's gotten _awkward_ around them....), his few typical hobbies like video games and manga reading, and football (not much is going on there either though and he thinks he might have to give up with it at the rate he's going with life, lately...)  
  
One day at the college a - presenter, he guesses - comes to give a presentation on... _adoption_?  
( _Taichi heard his voice drifting out from the open door..._ )  
  
It's not for a  _graded course_ , he's at least not a teacher or anything, they're just presenting as like a  _guest presenter_ , that's it. So this slim, awkwardly speaking, admittedly nerdy looking (but _smart-sounding as_ hell) college "kid" (ok, he's not really a "kid", _he's a fellow adult_ , but Taichi's mind seems to insist on calling him that, for some reason....) his age, with his short-cut spiky red hair and pure black eyes (' _why are you staring so intently at his eyes, idiot!!_ ') is standing at the front giving this presentation on... _adoption_ , (though he's _relating it_ to _various other subjects the school teaches_ , too, which is also kind of cool - _social sciences_? _Psychology_? Health in general?  _Science itself_? _ARCHAEOLOGY_??!) and he's talking so _animatedly_ and _precisely_ and _smartly_ (despite the obvious social awkwardness he seems to have) and _Taichi keeps staring at him_ , _how_ is he _so... pretty_ \- (' _wait what?!_ ')  
(' _but he kind of is, in that way where he has this_ glow _about him-_ ')  
  
Anyway, this college "kid" his age - _wait, is he exactly Taichi's age or is he younger?_ \- is actually _really cool_ , he's talking about helping kids - including _very young children_ \- in areas that _really_ need help and how they and the related associations help these kids in recovering to a point where they can _stand on their own feet again_ , and not get stuck in a _shitty (Taichi's phrasing) adoption system_ , and eventually become adopted into loving families, and -  
  
Taichi, _being the dumb idiot that he is_ , _raises his hand and asks without thinking_.  
( _As always._ )  
  
"Um, this is _really cool, definitely,_ but _how do you_ know _so much about this stuff, anyway-?_ "  
  
The presenter ( _Izumi?_ ) turns around and _stares_ at him directly, sharply, ( _kindly?_ ) with those black eyes and says semi-brightly despite the situation he's in, in front of this room full of dumb college kids like Taichi himself -  
  
" _Oh, I'M adopted._ "  
  
Taichi thinks (' _Shit, I was just extremely rude??'_ )  
  
After the presentation is over, the kid is gathering up his things outside the room, and fixing his slightly moved tie all neatly, and Taichi approaches him awkwardly from behind.  
  
"I, uh- I'm sorry, _I'm so sorry_ , I asked that earlier without thinking-"  
  
"Izumi" turns to stare at him, more intently, now.  
  
"It's all right. _...?_ "  
(He was a little confused as to why this cool looking kid [??] bothered apologizing to him for that, but he accepts it...)  
  
Taichi shifts awkwardly - tries to do so without Izumi noticing.  
  
"No, really, I mean it- it must have sounded _really rude_ , I'm - kind of an idiot- But that presentation was actually really kind of _cool_ and all, so I was just wondering- even though I never really thought about that kind of stuff before-"  
  
He looks back up after a moment (he was looking to the side) and notices Izumi - or had he also said _Koushiro_? - is trying to keep from grinning slightly.  
  
(' _Shit_.')  
  
"You thought it was ' _cool_ '? That's... probably the first time I heard that."  
  
(' _Shit shit shit_ ')  
  
"Damn, I'm really screwing up, aren't I? It's probably not that 'cool' when you think about it, I mean, it must _really suck_ and-"  
  
Koushiro steps forward just slightly.  
  
"No, you were right the first time. It's _cool_."  
  
He looks to the side, a bit shyly, (' _is he blushing??_ '), glancing away but back up at Taichi as he next speaks.  
  
"It's 'cool' because even though we went through hardship... we're able to become part of a family."  
  
(' _Shit shit shit shit shit'_ ) ( _Why isn't his brain working better than this?!?_ )  
  
"T-That's... that's really awesome, _really_ , well, and..." Taichi stammers a bit frantically as he tries to come up with a decent response and half-changes the subject (except not). "You said you were like, involved with... _archaeology_ or something, too?-"  
  
"Oh, right, I didn't get as far into the presentation with that as I would have liked." (' _Because my stupid self interrupted and threw him off._ ') "But, yes. I sometimes join in with archaeology efforts on the side when I'm away on these programs, if I can find the time. It's very enlightening."  
  
"Isn't archaeology like... where they do those _really cool digs_ and stuff to find, like... _ancient-like things_? 'Artifacts', right? What's that got to do with-?"  
  
Koushiro says brightly again, (' _shit_ ' Taichi thinks, again,)  
  
"Oh, that's more of _a personal thing_. I research _various_ topics, you see. _Archaeology_ , _science_ , _technology_..."  
  
Koushiro thinks for a minute. "I tie it into how I can help those kids, too. But... it's more like a way to..."  
  
( _Find myself, Koushiro thinks._ ) He falters in finishing.  
  
Taichi holds up a hand, noticing the faltering, at least.  
  
"T-That's ok. You don't have to answer. I was just asking because it sounded _really cool_ , like, _something I never thought of before_..."  
(It's a half-lie - he heard about the topic from various manga and games before, he just never thought about it _deeply_ , you know?)  
  
(Not until this _strangely - pretty - kid_ showed up to _give a presentation_ on it of all things, anyway-)  
  
Koushiro smiles slightly. _Actually smiles_.  
(' _Shiiiit_.')  
  
"Are you interested? I'm afraid the next dig is already scheduled very soon, but..."  
  
"Wait, you're _leaving_ , _soon_ -?!" (' _Shut up, you idiot!!_ ') Koushiro is looking at him oddly now - "uh, I mean, wait, _how are you able to_ -? You're a _college kid_ just like me, right? _How do you_ -"  
  
"Oh, I live alone."  
  
(' _...FUCK_ ')  
  
"When I have breaks in my schedule, I'm allowed to help out with digs. The local research center where I research tech at sponsors it."  
  
Taichi finds out this _college kid_ has actually _already graduated college_ , and _that's_ why he was able to present to them in the first place, and _he's a year younger than Taichi_ , and _he's lived alone_ ever since _advancing all the way to college from junior high school_ , ( _fucking JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL, hell_ ), _he literally skipped high school itself how_ , and wait, _didn't he live with his adopted family too_? - but he's afraid to ask, because he's bound to _phrase it stupidly_ again, but it turns out Koushiro answers anyway, _he only lived with them for a short time_ until he _transferred to the college_ , and _ever since then he's lived alone_ , _by himself_ , Taichi thinks, _probably in an empty apartment fiddling with tech and not experiencing high school and college and the like like Taichi did and that sounds kind of_ really fucking sad _and_ -  
  
Koushiro is about ready to have to _leave again_ , and _Taichi thinks as fast as he can_.  
  
"W-Wait, _which area are you in_ -?"

Koushiro turns with a raised eyebrow and another slight smile.

_He lives in fucking_ Odaiba _. Literally_ a block away _from Taichi._  
(' _SHIIIIIIIIIIT_ ')

(' _TAICHI YOU ARE AN IDIOT_ ')

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The full outline thus far (sans some new sections I've added since) is posted over at my Digimon tumblr, "izzyizumi", so this version is a slightly better "written" version ??
> 
> the link:  
> http://izzyizumi.tumblr.com/post/172990799460/
> 
> other end notes:  
> [1] football = soccer (in Japan)  
> [2] junior high school = "middle school" equivalent (in Japan)  
> (please note this is using mainly a Japanese school system however, NOT an American one - I'll have to figure out the college/higher education part though ... considering this AU ... yes)  
> [3] Hikarigaoka = "Heighton View Terrace" in the English dub
> 
>  
> 
> \- this chapter was originally untitled (due to it being originally, the first half of 'chapter 1' / part 1)  
> \- "WARNING" chapter title added: January 30, 2019  
> \- as for why it's "WARNING", READ ON ... ... ...


	2. 2 (Begin)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Ok, so, yes, as the tags say... this is an AU. Specifically, a timeloops AU. Psuedo character deaths and psuedo 'violence' (because Digimon Adventure... Digimon, you know...) related to those deaths will be involved in later chapters. (However, please note these 'psuedos' but...) Still, if you think you can't handle that at all, or psychological drama/horror, please turn away now.  
> (I did my best to keep it mostly plot related and accessible, but...) Otherwise, read on?...  
> \- Um. This fic is also rated explicit and tagged 'smut' for a reason. There will be a significant (CONSENSUAL) plot-related smut/nsfw scene. I'll try to separate most of the nsfw from the scenes before it in a separate chapter, though, but. Yes.  
> (It also may be referenced more than once in later chapters too, um, I'm sorry.)  
> I'M SORRY FOR MY TAICHI (at least it's overall plot related??)  
> \- This chapter is a much shorter interlude / more of an extended long drabble but it sets up important coming scenes, and there will be significantly / somewhat longer chapters to come, too.  
> (I would have put the nsfw scene after this one but if I split it up, yeah...)

_TAICHI SOMEHOW ENDS UP WALKING HIM HOME???_

He doesn't know _how_ it happens, but in _some other universe somewhere_ , he probably ends up _not walking Koushiro home_ and _regretting it for the rest of his life_ when Koushiro just _ups and leaves_ on an _archaeology dig_ somewhere and Taichi _never sees him again_ -  
(' _Seriously, stop thinking!!_ ')

The walk there is semi-awkward and they don't talk, and they're looking down or away from each other most of the way, but Taichi feels like _he has to do this_ -

When Koushiro opens the door to his small place ( _not_ an apartment), Taichi realizes why he  _had such a sinking feeling_.

It's all _dark_. _Shadowy_. ... _Empty_. Koushiro obviously doesn't have a lot of personal possessions, and he's so neat-seeming and organized that the only things sitting out are an old but very good condition pineapple emblemed ('" _Pibook_ "?? That's very 90s-esque, " _kind of cute..._ "') laptop on the short table in the living room, and a photo frame -  
(Taichi thinks he sees the silhouettes of what must be Koushiro's - _adoptive_ \- parents, but it's too dark to tell.)

"...Sorry. It's not much, really," Koushiro _apologizes_ , looking sheepish. "I tend to get wrapped up on the computer a lot, so..."

"You... really _did_ live alone all this time." It hits Taichi like a truck. (' _Why a truck??_ ') This college kid - his age - _younger!_ \- lived with his _adoptive parents_ only for _a short time_ , _probably never knew (or remembered) his real ones_ , and _transferred to college_ from _fucking junior high school_ , he _never lived a normal life_ like _Taichi_ did, _did he even want a normal life_ -?  
( _Did TAICHI want a normal life-_?) (' _Wait, where did that come from_ -??')

"Um... yes." Koushiro seems to not know what to say, but he also seems to be picking up on Taichi's feelings ( _mood_?) somehow, and has become awkwardly - shy? - glancing away again-

(' _no no no no no nO_ -')

" _D-do you... do you want some company?_ "

Koushiro stares back up at him, as if slowly realizing something, pure black eyes deep and _searching_ , and _Taichi stares back down at him_ , and _somehow_ -

" _Yes_ ," Koushiro _breathes_.

_The place stays dark because somehow they forgot to turn on the lights_.

_They somehow wind up in Koushiro's bed and Taichi is a goddamn idiot_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I'M SORRY FOR MY TAICHI (IT'S OK TAICHI YOU MAY BE A BIT OF AN IDIOT BUT KOUSHIRO STILL LOVES YOU)  
> \- Um. I'm also sorry for what's to come next chapter. Yes. Remember when I said "not chronological"?  
> (Actually the next part kind of is chronological still in terms of placement, but as for the events it contains....)  
> \- (I swear there'll be good things, too?? Eventually-)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> \- this chapter was originally untitled (due to it being originally, the second half of 'chapter 1' / part 1)  
> \- "Begin" chapter title added: January 30, 2019  
> \- as for why it's "Begin", READ ON ... ... ...


	3. 3 (REPEAT?_)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- as I said before. I'M SORRY.  
> \- this chapter contains the start of the timeloops and psuedo-deaths, so please proceed with caution and read my previous warnings.  
> \- the end section of this chapter also contains the start of the nsfw scene. (...I'm sorry)

Taichi wasn't sure what he was expecting, way back when he invited that kid from his football group to their summer camp.  
  
That quiet, polite, introverted - kind of geeky/nerdy kid - that kid who was  _always_  wrapped up in his PC, but for some reason, whenever _Taichi_ approached him, _he looked up_ -  
  
\- and  _at Taichi_  in a way that  _caught him by surprise_  - this kid  _never_  looked at _anyone else_ in the group (or school)  _like that_.  
  
If Taichi didn't know better, he'd think that kid didn't have much interest in socializing at all.  
  
But he'd  _always_  look up  _for Taichi_.  
  
And Taichi felt... what was that word...  _kind of_...  
  
... _Drawn_  towards him? He didn't know why, but he kind of  _liked_  when that kid looked at him like that...  
  
Taichi wasn't sure what he was expecting.  
  
_...He just knew it wasn't... this..._  
  
He didn't expect to be transported to a  _Digital World_  full of  _magical monsters_ ,  _partners_  that became their  _best friends_ , which  _followed them_  all the way through their  _battles_  back  _home, to Earth_  --  
  
They were still  _fighting the enemies_ , but now it was  _on Earth_  -  
  
He didn't expect  _these other kids_  to become  _his best friends_ ,  _even the introverted_ , _quiet one_ , who maybe was fast becoming one of his  _best, best friends_ ,  
  
_"The kind he could say anything to"_  -  
  
He always felt this kind of strange  _giddyness_  whenever he talked to Koushiro, and Koushiro  _responded_ , even if Koushiro  _insisted_  on using " _Taichi-san_ " for him and nothing else -  
  
(Taichi  _didn't really mind it_ ,  _it felt kind of nice_ ,  _like he really was being genuinely respected_  - not many  _others_ used  _-san_  for him, even when he was unfamiliar with them-)  
  
He remembered feeling a  _surge of pride_  when he  _finally_  heard how Koushiro activated his Crest - the  _Crest of Knowledge_ ,  _absolutely fitting for Koushiro_ ,  _the smartest of the group_  - even though he  _felt kind of bad too_ , because Koushiro had  _become separated from the group in the first place partly because of_...  
  
( _Him-_ )  
  
Taichi wasn't sure what he was expecting when they returned back to Earth.  
  
_But he knew it wasn't this. It wasn't this._  
  
_God, it wasn't this._  
  
_Almost home!_   _They were almost home!_   _Back_  where their  _parents and families were!_  
  
But then they  _had_  to take these  _stupid detours_ , and wound up on the  _bridge_ , and -  
  
And -  
  
_It was a total accident, no one had expected Koushiro to_  -  
  
_Even Tentomon somehow couldn't make it in time_  -  
  
_Taichi stares down at the bottom of the bridge, horrified._  
  
_Koushiro's body is at the bottom of the bridge._  
  
He  _screams._  
  
" _KOUUUUUSHIROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!_ "  
  
*  
  
Taichi's been  _an absolute wreck._  
  
_It was a tragic accident_ , _they_ had said. Like an old and tired cliche. _Immediately upon impact_...  
  
Tentomon... poor _Tentomon_ had felt it was _his fault_. They had tried to console him despite their own grief, but...  
  
For some reason, Tentomon _had_ ...  
  
Taichi punches his fist into his bed and turns over.  
  
God, it was _his_ fault. _All his fault_. _If only he never invited Koushiro to the summer camp in the first place_ -  
  
_This wouldn't have_ -  
  
He remains in that position for a bit.  
  
Then, his hand ghosts over another edge of the bed, where Koushiro's Digivice and Crest of Knowledge still laid.  
  
He takes the Crest shakily into his hands. Brushes his fingers over the symbol on them.  
  
"Koushiro..."  
  
_Koushiro's Digivice flashes_.  
  
Taichi _pales_.  
  
"Onii-chan? the TV just..." Hikari calls from the other room, sounding confused.  
  
_Taichi's own Digivice flashes_.  
  
He bangs his door open and flies over to their computer.  
  
*  
  
_The computer is flickering on and off, strangely_ -  
  
_Koushiro's face is half hidden on the screen, flickering in and out_.  
  
Koushiro  
  
_Koushiro_  
  
_KOUSHIRO_  
  
*  
  
Taichi _slams_ his arms down, almost shaking the computer in his worry.  
  
" _KOUSHIRO?!_ "  
  
He chokes out the name, almost unbelieving, but _it's not a lie_ , Koushiro's right there -  _right there_ -  
  
" _Koushiro, what the HELL-_ "  
  
Koushiro's face flickers in clearer. Taichi's heart nearly stops.  
  
Koushiro looks almost... _freaky_. His eyes are all half lidded and he has this _weird look_ on his face and -  
  
There's some sort of strange... space-like background behind him -  
  
( _The Digital World?? But it can't be-_ )  
  
" _Taichi-san, where are you right now...?_ "  
  
He _remembers with a start_. _This has happened before_.  
  
_Before, back when he came through the portal temporarily_ -  
  
_It's exactly the same, but this is the second time_ -  
  
"Onii-chan? Like before..."  
  
"Koushiro, _where ARE you?!_ " Taichi all but screams, clenching Koushiro's glowing Crest and Digivice in his other hand.  
  
" _Taichi-san-?_ "  
  
"You _DIED_ , you were _HERE_ , you fell off the bridge and _DIED_ -"  
  
Taichi is outright _sobbing_ now, still shaking the computer, trying to make _sense_ of what he's _seeing_.  
  
' _Taichi-san_ '. It's definitely Koushiro, has to be Koushiro -  
  
" _...I see._ " _The same exact response as before_. Taichi freezes.  
  
No, not quite exact. This time, it was in response to Taichi saying...  
  
" _Then, don't come back--_ "  
  
The PC flickers wildly again.  
  
" _KOUSHIROOOOOOOOOOOO--_ "  
  
(" _It's not a lie!!_ " his mind screams at him--)  
  
_The screen turns black_.  
  
*  
  
After consoling himself (or trying to, anyway); Koromon (who had remained with Hikari) and Hikari, and sending them to bed -  
  
Taichi stood in the same dark room, now holding his own Digivice.  
  
Staring down at it.  
  
Koushiro's were nestled safely in his pockets.  
  
(" _This... this isn't right! Something crazy is going on, and Koushiro's still stuck somewhere, and Tentomon must be with him, and -_  
  
_He isn't dead - he can't be dead -_  
  
_We can't even save these worlds without Koushiro!!_ ")  
  
His Digivice flickers.  
  
_The PC flashes back on_.  
  
_Except this time, it's not Koushiro on the screen_.  
  
It's ... a _dialogue_.  
  
**R E P E A T?_ Y/N?_**  
  
The cursor at the end is blinking, as if testing him.  
  
Taichi stares at it.  
  
His hands - clenching his Digivice - begin drifting towards the computer screen.  
  
" _YES_ "  
  
The whisper drifts from his mouth.  
  
The world breaks apart around him.  
  
He can still feel Koushiro's Crest and Digivice brushing against his legs.  
  
*  
  
Taichi Yagami wakes up.  
  
A normal, hot summer day in August.  
  
_Except now it's August 3rd, isn't it?_  
  
*  
  
_They made it back home._  
  
Even with Koushiro's near brush with... _falling off the bridge_ ....  
  
They made it home. It's ok. _He's safe_.  
  
_Tentomon got there in time, even if Taichi couldn't_.  
  
Koushiro is safe and sound at home, though, and now Taichi can rest.  
  
(...Right??)  
  
He doesn't understand why he feels so _uneasy_ about things.  
  
Everything had turned out ok, after all, hadn't it?  
  
"It'll all turn out all right!" He had even said, jokingly, brightly, as they made their way home during sunset. (" _Nantokanaru sa!!_ ")  
  
He had thought he saw Koushiro exchanging smiles with Tentomon in response.  
  
*  
  
"Well, you know, I kind of hate summer."  
  
Koushiro had confessed that to him, one day, looking down and away, awkwardly, as if he was ashamed.  
  
Or was ashamed the right word?  
  
Guilty? But why?...  
  
"W-what's that supposed to mean--?"  
  
Summer is what led them all to _the Digital World_ , right? It's how they got wrapped up in so many things - amazing things, too -  
  
If it wasn't for summer, they wouldn't have met their _partners_ \- they wouldn't have become _best friends_ , and -  
  
Koushiro seems to brush it off. (Seems to.)  
  
"S-Sorry. Taichi-san. That's not what I meant. Just..."  
  
He seems _worried_. Like _he's saying something he shouldn't be_.  
  
_Like he's thinking of something he shouldn't be_.  
  
_Taichi feels another burst of unease_.  
  
"H-Hey, Koushiro, it's ok--"  
  
He's... _comforting Koushiro?_  
  
Suddenly, too, his hand is wrapped around Koushiro's arm, clenching it a bit, and -  
  
"Why don't we go home now...?"  
  
Koushiro seems startled, looking back up, then at the hand around his arm.  
  
He looks back at Taichi.  
  
...Gives that strange smile of his.  
  
"...Ok."  
  
*  
  
It happens again.  
  
( _The street-- even just that--_ )  
  
And again.  
  
( _This time, they fell--_ )  
  
And again.  
  
( _They survived the fall, but the bombings--_ )  
  
And again.  
  
( _A city of metal, bombings everywhere, shards of glass flying, cutting up all along Koushiro's legs--_ )  
  
And again.  
  
(" _Why won't you let me fight?!_ ")  
  
(" _Taichi-san--!!_ ")  
  
And again.  
  
*  
  
' _Ah...! Dream-?'_  
  
"Good morning-!"  
  
Koushiro's voice sounds strangely off.  
  
" _HURRY!!_ "  
  
_Taichi knows_. He _knows_ -  
  
He grabs Koushiro's arm.  
  
Koushiro's arm feels cold - but _familiar_ underneath the skin of his palm.  
  
They _run_ \- panting, _Koushiro gasping_ -  
  
" _It's pointless._ "  
  
Some _distorted_ but _strangely familiar voice_ somewhere _whispers_.  
  
_Koushiro falls_.  
  
Taichi screams.  
  
Again.  
  
*  
  
_Even just when he thinks he's won, suddenly it seems like_ -  
  
( _Was Koushiro smiling...??_ )  
  
... Again.  
  
*  
  
Koushiro clenches his fists in his grief.  
  
This isn't right.  
  
Even now, this isn't the right path.  
  
Even now, they can't save the worlds like this.  
  
( _Especially not for his sake--_ )  
  
_TAICHI-SAN **ABSOLUTELY CANNOT DIE**_ \--!!  
  
Taichi's gaze almost seems to be watching him as Taichi falls, falls -

Koushiro lifts his head.  
  
_Koushiro's Crest of Knowledge glows_.  
  
A G A I N.  
  
*  
  
**R E P E A T?_ Y/N?_**  
  
**_Y**  
  
The world breaks apart.  
  
*  
  
Taichi's hands are shaking slightly (from nerves? Because he's _such a goddamn idiot to be doing something like this with someone he's only just met_?? Or _something else_ \--?) as he moves his hands towards Koushiro's pants.  
  
Koushiro is still - blushing with his eyes half-lidded, and Taichi gulps, and slowly begins to pull them down.  
  
...He _freezes_. But not because of the _obvious_ thing.  
  
_He's not even paying attention to that right now_.  
  
_Koushiro Izumi's legs are covered in scar_ s.  
  
"K-Koushiro-- your--"  
  
"Mm--?" Koushiro blinks rapidly, as if shocking himself out of a daze, and immediately _pales_ a bit, propping himself up on one arm hastily -  
  
"Oh _god_ , _I didn't warn you, I'm so_ \--"  
  
"N-No, _don't apologize_ , just, _what_ \--"  
  
Koushiro looks like he feels _terrible_ and Taichi mentally hits himself, repeatedly.  
  
(' _This isn't how it goes!!'_ ) (' _But how was I supposed to know-?!'_ )  
  
"I-It's ok. It happened a... a long time ago. The accident -- my pa--"  
  
(' _Oh my god, I should have known--_ ')  
  
"Y-you don't have to say it, _it's ok_!!"  
  
Koushiro swallows and looks down, embarrassed-seeming. Taichi hits himself more.  
  
"I... I really did forget to warn you. Just-- it must have been a shock--"  
  
Koushiro looks about ready to say something like ' _they're probably very ugly_ ' and Taichi beats him to the punch because goddamn he's not about to let this gorgeous boy say his scar-covered legs _which are in no way his fault are 'ugly'_ and --  
  
"You're beautiful."  
  
Koushiro freezes. Sucks in a half-breath.  
  
Taichi realizes the breath is caught in his throat, too.  
  
"When I first saw you, back there, I thought you were - ' _pretty_ '. I couldn't stop staring at _you_ and at... _your eyes_ , and--"  
  
Taichi's ready to hit himself again.  
  
"You're not just ' _pretty_ ', you're not just ' _gorgeous_ ', you're... you're _beautiful_."  
  
"This... _doesn't change it._ "  
  
Koushiro looks about ready to _cry_ , but he's holding back the tears, and Taichi keeps mentally hitting himself.  
  
(' _No, don't cry--!!_ ')  
  
"T-Thank you."  
  
"...No one's ever called me any of that, before."  
  
"And I thought... because... of this, even if anyone had, they'd be _scared_ \- scared off--"  
  
"I. Won't be scared off."  
  
Taichi stares intently at him, into those pure black eyes.  
  
"You're beautiful. All of you."  
  
His mind screams at him to _not be such a sap_ , _the poor kid probably can't believe him_ , but he shuts his mind up, and Koushiro is still _staring_ at him -  
  
Taichi leans down again and makes a point of continuing what he was doing.  
  
He wants to _prove_ it... he's only just met this boy, but for some reason, he wants - _needs_ \- to prove to this boy that he is beautiful.  
  
Taichi runs his fingers up the sides of Koushiro's legs, brushing against the scars.  
  
He can _feel_ them under his fingers. Scars from something like... glass? Glass shards??  
  
(' _Probably from the car's windshield, when it..._ ')  
  
Those are _unsexy thoughts_ , so Taichi pushes them to the far back of his mind and keeps going.  
  
Koushiro... this boy... he really did get banged up from that.  
  
It must have impacted his _whole life_. Led to _this moment_.  
  
To where he'd let someone like _Taichi_ do _this_ with him.  
  
Taichi exhales.  
  
But, no. He already made up his mind, right?  
  
And Koushiro --  
  
Koushiro's _shivering_ under his touch. He keens a bit, raising his legs just slightly, as if to feel Taichi's fingers against his scars a little harder.  
  
Taichi does what he wants. Koushiro gasps a bit more, leaning back, mouth falling open.  
  
(' _Goddamn he's gorgeous-_ ')  
  
"You... you _do_ still want this, right-?"  
  
_He doesn't think he could forgive himself if Koushiro didn't_.  
  
Koushiro _immediately_ looks back at him _sharply_ , mouth closing again, but -  
  
" _I want this._ "  
  
" _...Please._ "  
  
He insists, _begs_ , and Taichi's slowly _losing it_.  
  
His fingers continue to trail up and against Koushiro's legs, feeling _everything_. Every bumpy scar, every ridge around them. Koushiro's tiny knees, the back of them, too. Up to the edges of Koushiro's thighs -  
  
Koushiro moves back again with a _gasp_.  
  
(' _He's. He's really into this, huh-_ ')

*

(' _Yes please keep touching me there **yes**  right there at the highest spot **please** -_')

*

Koushiro wakes up from a half-formed dream he can't actually recall, dazed, when he realizes it's just before daybreak - still dusk, out - and this _gorgeous_ , _beautiful boy_ he met at the college is still - entangled with - him.  
  
_Oh. That's why it still feels so-_  
  
He can't stop himself from blushing deeply, _furiously_ , and tries his best to move the other without waking him.  
  
He eventually detangles himself from the poor boy, who seems to subconsciously notice the lack of warmth, squirming in his sleep a bit.  
  
Koushiro watches him with softening eyes.  
  
(' _...It ended a bit awkwardly, but it was... really nice..._ ')  
  
He moves to brush a stray hair out of the other boy's eyes.  
  
(' _He didn't even mind my... scars..._ ')  
  
(' _I didn't get his name, didn't I...?_ ')  
  
The other boy probably felt _terrible_ for moving so fast, but Koushiro would have to _reassure him_ ; _he_ was the _impolite_ one after all, _begging_ the other boy to -  
  
(' _Why was I thinking -' Ta' and 'sa-'...??_ ')  
  
It almost sounded like a word in his mind, a name he had _heard before_ , as if from an extremely vague _dream_ , 'Ta-sa'... 'Ta-san'? 'Ta-i--??' No, 'Tai-san' couldn't be right -  
  
His mouth half forms the words again - ('Ta-i-ch-[i]-sa-[n]--?') - but he can't hear the sounds, or figure out the words - name --  
  
_...He must have been dreaming_.

*  
  
( _A metal city._ )  
  
(' _Taichi-san Taichi-san the windows, the glass, it hurts it hurts it hurts please **help m e**_ \--')  
  
*

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I um. really like the creepiness of BASIC (?) computer code?? (I totally did not take a said BASIC programming elective class as a kid partly because of Digimon & Koushiro nor have memories of some of the things we did with it??)  
> \- Um. Yeah, as said, separating the second major half of the nsfw scene.  
> \- I'll eventually probably post it but um. Maybe out of chronological order. In the future. Yes. Ahahaha. Ha.  
> \- I did try to include some interlude bits and the following scenes um.  
> \- I SAID I WAS SORRY FOR MY TAICHI (AND THAT)  
> \- ok but I really wanted Koushiro to show SERIOUS SIGNS of the loops (but they had to be not-obvious) (and Taichi had to FIND THEM) (without it taking forever, too) (SO AT LEAST IT'S MOSTLY PLOT RELATED YES?? YES)  
> \- by the way Taichi is right. There's nothing gross about scars (or physical disability or any disability) ok. Ok? Yes.  
> \- TAICHI IS GOOD I SWEAR (YOU'RE OK TAICHI)  
> \- those thoughts may come into play in later chapters too (hence the added 'disability' tags) but it may take a while to get to  
> \- KOUSHIRO SERIOUSLY DOES ENJOY IT OK the last line is. from. a DIFFERENT scene. yeah. ummmm.  
> \- Mugendramon / Machinedramon arc is painful. Very. Painful. (I'm sorry.)  
> \- you totally did not see that typo


	4. 4 (Bridge)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- i'm sorry  
> \- this chapter is embarrassing i'm sorry (at least they're making progress?? slowly??)  
> \- (also the nsfw is still referenced here a bit but not a ton)  
> \- i'm also sorry for the ending

" _Koushiro_ " _was positively glowing_.

... _It's the next morning_.

(' _SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT'_ ) Taichi's mind screams.

He's sitting there, kind of numb, staring down at an _absolutely gorgeously pretty beautiful boy_ laying on the sheets _next to him_ , equally _unclothed_ but sleeping _soundly_ and --

(' _YOU DIDN'T EVEN TELL HIM YOUR GODDAMN NAME AND YET YOU--!!_ ')

('I - _oh god_ , _I have to apologize to him right fucking now and beg his forgiveness and then I can leave and he'll never have to see my shitty face again and forget all of this happened and- wait you do THAT with him and you're just gonna LEAVE, that's even worse maybe?!--_ ')

\- Koushiro, in between his screaming thoughts, has gotten up from the bed and left the room already. Taichi snaps out of it immediately when he realizes.

(' _Oh no. Oh no. Oh no no no no no I probably DID hurt him and now he's going to hate me forever and I'm never going to see him again and--_ ')

... _Koushiro is positively glowing_.

He's haphazardly dressed now, and moving about the kitchen a bit aimlessly, but his skin is giving off a surprising amount of _shine_ (' _STOP STARING AT HIM!!! STOP LOOKING AT HIS NECK AND SKIN GODDAMMIT YOU--_ ') and is he actually _humming_ \--?

Koushiro _hums_ just barely audibly under his breath a tiny series of beats that could _almost_ match up with the word " _shin-ji-te-ru_ " ("shinjiteru", "believe", or more precisely could also be "I believe in you"?.... ....) He seems to not quite know what to do with himself still, when he looks up suddenly, as if _sensing_ , and his black eyes stare right at Taichi.

Taichi, who's standing there awkwardly, his own school jacket and pants haphazardly thrown on.

"...Your tie...?"

(' _I FORGOT MY TIE--_ ')

"I-I'll go get it _right now_ \--" ( _Now that he's here, Koushiro probably wants him out soon, right-_ )

Koushiro interrupts him this time.

" _...!_ Your name -- I, um, didn't..."

He suddenly seems like he's about to think hard, like a thought came to mind all of a sudden, and he wants to think about it but he's trying to keep his gaze focused on Taichi too, his mouth pursed but a bit uneven as he tries to keep ...steady.

Taichi swallows.

"...I-It's Taichi. Yagami Taichi."

There's a fraction of a section of silence. Koushiro keeps staring.

" _God, I'm so_ \--"

"... _Taichi-san_ , then."

(' _Shit...._ ')

"Look, I'm _so_  - _I'll leave right now_ \--"

"Normally, I'd call you _Yagami-san_."

Taichi freezes. Koushiro's mouth quirks -- just slightly.

"...But I think we've become too acquainted for that."

(' _SHIT_ ')

"I'm..." (Does Koushiro _want_ him to apologize?) "I... look, Koushiro? (He _really_ deserves an honorific from Taichi's idiotic self, for once, but then again Taichi literally already _used his name since_...) -- I _swear_ I don't want to hurt you or anything, I really _really_ \--"

"You haven't hurt me."

"I'm--" Taichi freezes again. Stares hard at Koushiro. "Uh..."

"Even during _that_ ," Koushiro adds, almost maddeningly. "...Taichi-san."

Koushiro pauses, blinks a bit, suddenly.

"...That wasn't where my train of thought was originally going, but it was..."

Koushiro corrects himself.

"What you... we... did..... it was _nice_. Taichi-san."

(' _Uh?!_ ')

"Very nice. ... You really haven't hurt me."

('" _Nice?'"... "Very"? - Or? But-' 'Wait, what else can you really expect--?! Your sorry ass should be GRATEFUL he even called it 'nice' after that, he should be DROPKICKING YOU INTO THE STRATOSPHERE RIGHT ABOUT NOW--!!_ ')

"N-No, I meant-" Taichi feels about ready to fall right where he's standing. "Not like _that_ , but like - I don't want to hurt you. Koushiro. _I really don't want to hurt you_ , I _messed up_ , _you don't deserve_ \--"

" _You really haven't hurt me_."

Koushiro is _insisting_ now, driving his gaze into Taichi, and Taichi's words falter and fall.

He stares back at Koushiro.

"I... you..."

"It was... _enjoyable_."

Koushiro is looking away again, and Taichi isn't sure if he should feel worse or not?

Koushiro's eyes flicker back to Taichi.

"What I'm trying to say, Taichi-san, is... _I don't mind_."

"...But I'd like to know more about you, too."

Taichi's mind freezes to a complete halt. Again.

Koushiro looks down.

"....I'm not very good with feelings, though."

(' _He expects me to NOT hurt him--?!_ ')

"K-Koushiro..." Taichi's voice is a bit weak. "N-no, you... _you deserve so much better than this kind of_  - _one night stand, or one night stands_ , or - _I'm really bad at this_ , too--"

"I'd be fine with just one night stands."

Taichi is about to open his mouth to protest again (something like ' _don't be fine with that!!_ ') but Koushiro shuts him up with his next line --

"...But I really wouldn't mind _more_ than that, too."

"When I said I want to get to know Taichi-san, I .... meant it."

Taichi feels himself physically drain.

(' _M-maybe it's ok?? Maybe I haven't royally screwed up completely yet??_ ')

(' _Maybe_....')

*

 _Explosions_.  
  
Everywhere, the sound of explosions. Sometimes, the briefest of pauses in between, until, again --  
  
Taichi cowers before the scene before him.  
  
He doesn't understand. _He doesn't understand_. The _monster_ \--  
  
The monster had just wanted to be _friends_  - right?? To _play_ , and eat, and --  
  
But then Hikari had - Hikari --  
  
He looks up. Around.  
  
Small spotlights have appeared around the buildings, landing on ... nearby children? ... watching --  
  
Kids his age - one, looks a bit taller, older - others, younger? --  
  
Why were there spotlights on them--?  
  
He somehow meets the eyes of one child.  
  
They're very far away, and he can't see perfectly, but with that spotlight --  
  
The smaller boy's spiky dark red hair stands out.  
  
His eyes are wide and pure black, the bright golden light being the only thing illuminating them.  
  
He's staring not at the monster - or maybe he _had been_ , but _now_ he --  
  
He was staring _right at Taichi_.  
  
Taichi locks eyes with him.  
  
Lets out a shaky gasp he didn't know he was holding.  
  
Opens his mouth as if to ask --  
  
(" _Who are you?!_ ")  
  
(" _What do I do?!_ ")  
  
The boy's eyes are still locked with his.  
  
Another explosion hits the bridge.  
  
Explosions all around them.  
  
Taichi instinctively ducks. Wraps his small figure around Hikari.  
  
His baby sister. He has to protect her, he has to --  
  
When the smoke clears, he looks up.  
  
The monster has fallen.  
  
It's -- he's -- not moving.  
  
Hikari is crying.  
  
He looks up again through his own teary eyes.  
  
The red-headed boy is still staring with those same black eyes.  
  
Except this time, they're matching Taichi's own in their _fear_.  
  
Their gazes lock again. Briefly -- not for long, but --  
  
_The other boy looks about ready to cry, too_.  
  
There's smoke and rubble all around them.  
  
The explosions had hit almost  _everywhere_. _Even_ \-- even the nearby _streets_ \--  
  
A charred phone booth -- on the street, an overturned bus -- _cars?_ \--  
  
Taichi gasps. He can't stop crying.  
  
This can't be happening.  
  
He has to do something--!!  
  
He moves automatically.  
  
_He grabs Hikari's whistle_ \--  
  
_He blows on it as hard as he can_.  
  
The monsters' eye opens.  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- dun dun dunnnnn  
> \- i'm sorry  
> \- the ending is partially based on a theory I've had for YEARS and YEARS but reinforced recently when rereading the old Adventure drama CDs for the purpose of this fic  
> \- THE CREATORS PLAN EVERYTHING YOU KNOW. EVERYTHING. STORYBOARDS ARE A THING TOO  
> \- even things you don't think they planned when you watch it the first time as a tiny kid. The tiniest of movements/expressions etc...  
> \- hey remember when in Sora's post-Adventure / pre-02 drama cd she said maybe the events of her past (related to her parents' professions, how they met, etc.) and what caused them to move from Odaiba wasn't a coincidence? How she thinks regarding Jou's family it maybe wasn't a coincidence for them either?? dun dun dunnnnn  
> \- link to that btw: http://digitalscratch.pmsinfirm.org/457  
> \- i totally did not inadvertly link you to Koushiro's drama track there as well which also has a few heartbreaking pieces of info (also Taichi's)  
> \- i'm probably wrong anyhow because it could have / probably did happen when he was a literal newborn baby too and not just tiny child but still  
> \- but hey remember when in the Hikarigaoka / "Heighton View Terrace" episode Koushiro / they randomly flashes back to an overturned bus ?? What if it wasn't just a bus?? dun dun dunnnn  
> \- i'm sorry that episode means a lot to me too because it's what locked in my interest in Digimon as a tiny child  
> \- I'M SORRY KOUSHIRO  
> \- "THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS COINCIDENCE" "THERE IS ONLY 'HITSUZEN' [THE INEVITABLE]"  
> \- (NO THANKS CLAMP MANGA/ANIME SERIES AND CARDCAPTOR SAKURA/xxxHolic FOR THAT LINE WHY)  
> \- by the way. I wonder exactly which timelines Taichi & Koushiro these are at the end there hmmmm  
> \- re: the "shinjiteru" bit that was a dumb bit because Taichi has a line in his Adventure character song where he sings "shin-ji-te-ru" ("I believe in you") and Koushiro also uses the word "believe" during a notable line in his Adventure character song "Version Up!" too ("Shinjite iru" / "Believe in / the voice that guides you") and I really really like parallels?? links to the lyrics of both btw (Japanese and English):  
> http://spazioinwind.libero.it/credici/digimusic/megchan_lyrics/yuukiwotsubasanishite_r[1].htm  
> http://spazioinwind.libero.it/credici/digimusic/megchan_lyrics/yuukiwotsubasanishite_e[1].htm  
> http://spazioinwind.libero.it/credici/digimusic/megchan_lyrics/versionup_r[1].htm  
> http://spazioinwind.libero.it/credici/digimusic/megchan_lyrics/versionup_e[1].htm


	5. 5 (Home)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Koushiro is maybe a bit too bold here  
> \- basically WOW KOUSHIRO this time  
> \- Yamato/Sora is briefly referenced towards the end  
> \- the nsfw is also referenced a few more times here  
> \- i'm sorry

After a nice but slightly awkward (and quiet...) breakfast they move to Koushiro's small living room - the room that contained his few possessions that he had. Along with those, there was a typical long couch, and a small side chair.

Taichi took the chair, of course, since he was a - _guest_.

( _He tried very hard to not think about the night before, Koushiro gasping hard as Taichi moved further and further--_ )

Taichi quickly pushes that memory to the back of his mind (for now).

Koushiro had sat down across from him, getting comfortable, but then looked up at him - with a slightly curious expression.

" _But I want to get to know you, too_ ," Koushiro had said earlier, words that had made Taichi flush a bit.

Now seemed to be the time where they'd get to " _know more about each other_ " -- as a start, anyway.

"So... Taichi-san."

Koushiro nods a bit in his direction.

"Um... in terms of becoming more acquainted..."

Taichi tries to stop from flushing slightly in his own embarrassment.

"Y-Yeah. Look, I..."

He tries to think of what to say.

Koushiro already insisted on him not apologizing further, so...

"I, um... wasn't exactly... planning on attending - that presentation you gave earlier."

Koushiro gazes at him still, curiously.

"The topics... weren't exactly relevant to me, you were right."

"But I was just sort of _hanging out_ , and--"

He stops for a half-moment, to remember -

_He had heard Koushiro's smooth voice drifting out through the open door_ \--

"I, uh, _overheard you_ , and you honestly were doing a pretty great job up there right off the bat, and, I guess I, um, got--"

" _Curious_?" Koushiro finishes for him, a motion tugging at the end of his lips? - Like a grin? --

Taichi tries to stop from flushing. Again.

"Well, um... yeah," Taichi rubbed at the back of his neck, awkwardly.

"The topic wasn't exactly _relevant_ to me, yeah. But you were explaining it very well, so it really _did_ sound _cool_ , and then you mentioned the _archaeology_ bit, and--"

Koushiro had blinked a bit at that --

"I, well... actually _did_ remember a little about that from like... manga and games, you know? And those are _fun_ things. So I was kinda thinking, ' _how does he do all this_??-' and you looked like _my age_ , or _around_ there, so--"

"Again, you became intrigued."

Koushiro looked like he was _definitely_ trying to keep from grinning.

"Yeah..."

"It's ok."

Koushiro reassures him again, letting the not-quite-grin fade into a smile, much like the one he first gave Taichi during that first encounter.

"Honestly, that makes a lot more sense. I must admit, I was caught by surprise, a little - when not only did you walk in slightly late, but you have a rather interesting hairstyle."

Taichi _definitely_ flushes slightly now, and he glances to the side quickly as he tries to will it away.

Koushiro is obviously fighting really, _really_ hard to not grin.

Taichi looks back. Relaxes a bit.

(Koushiro doesn't seem angry with him, at least...)

Taichi gives a nervous laugh.

"Well -- yeah -- you're right, heh. It's kind of my signature thing. That and-"

He almost unconsciously reaches up to touch at his goggles.

...Koushiro blinks a bit again.

...Huh. That was nothing, right--?

"They're quite interesting, too. ... Your goggles."

Koushiro's gaze has shifted back into a sort of curious look...

"Your hair, as well, of course."

Taichi nods in response and tries to fight off the awkward blushes.

"Yeah... the goggles, I've had them for as long as I can remember."

"They're just normal goggles, but I feel more comfortable wearing them like this, I guess?"

Koushiro nods in response.

Was it just him, or was Koushiro suddenly staring a bit at them--?

"Um, as for the hair, that just kind of -- happened," he tries for an awkward laugh at the end.

Koushiro's gaze is back on him. He finally grins a bit, looking relaxed, and Taichi wonders if he just imagined that sort-of-staring.

"I can imagine," Koushiro replies, chuckling a bit.

...It's kind of going ok, anyway? It was a little awkward there, but if the other boy is laughing...

Taichi's mouth quirks up into a grin too, now.

* 

They meet back up for lunch.

They find an empty, quiet room with long tables to squeeze into, Koushiro checking to make sure it was useable for now, and set down their bags on the table they choose, unloading their things.

Taichi didn't actually have lunch with him - he had been so wound up ( _from the night before--_ ) he actually - forgot it...

He had grabbed a chocolate bar from the vending machines earlier, but it didn't really count, he thought. At least he did have a water bottle with him too, though.

Koushiro didn't seem to actually have much of a meal with him either, but it was more decent-looking than Taichi's; having gotten a small bag of pastries from somewhere on campus, and a bottle of tea.

...Well, at least, they had eaten a decent breakfast that morning.

(Taichi reflects, Koushiro obviously prepared it himself....)

Taichi finishes his chocolate bar while Koushiro nibbles on a pastry, sometimes sipping on the tea in between. The pastries do look good - glazed with creamy frosting and strawberries on top, so at least they look halfway filling.

Koushiro notices he's finished and tilts his head to the side a bit.

"You didn't get anything else, right?"

"No..."

"... Want one?..."

He nudges one of the pastries in Taichi's direction.

It's embarrassing, but Taichi gives in and pulls it over to his side.

"...Thanks. I usually eat better than this, I swear."

"No problem."

"I mean it, I have a pretty huge appetite most of the time."

( _Just, the breakfast that morning, too..._ )

Koushiro's mouth has quirked back up into a grin at those words, however, so Taichi relaxes and grins back.

He nibbles on the pastry a bit himself - it really  _is_  good, at least (the pastry, glaze, cream and strawberries mix very well) - when suddenly a thought strikes him.

( _Koushiro -- had he been eating_  just  _those kinds of things...?_ )

He quickly swallows the bite he took and tries to frantically push the thought out of his mind.

Ok, but -- now he's actually kind of  _concerned_  -- now that he thought about it... he had been so entranced the night before he almost didn't  _notice_ , but the sensations are flashing back to him now (as he tries to squash them back down, except) -

( _Hadn't Koushiro seemed almost_  - a little  _too_  slim? --  _like he..._ )

Taichi stares at Koushiro, who continued to tilt his head curiously in response.

( _Was Koushiro eating properly--??_ )

But wait, he  _had_  to have been, right? Koushiro made breakfast for him, after all -- and it  _was_  a very decent, filling breakfast -- (a typical eggs and meat meal, so he had been getting that, at least... though it had been slightly  _lighter_ than Taichi was used to...)

Taichi decides to push the thought out of his mind, for now.

"...Is everything all right?" Koushiro asks, noticing his pause in eating.

Taichi quickly nods. "Yeah, don't worry about it."

They return to at least a quiet pleasantness of sorts, actually beginning more of a conversation from there.

"You know, I never did get to ask what you were studying here..." Koushiro brings it up.

Taichi sighs a bit. Ah yeah, _that_.

"Well... I was kind of being..." He thinks on how to phrase it - "I don't know. I was getting the 'required' courses done - the 'easier' ones - though they weren't really that easy --"

(He tries to not think of that time he bombed a course  _completely_  and, after retaking it, studying furiously, he  _somehow_  got an "A" after- he still feels he didn't deserve it--)

"- but at least that's out of the way, but as for a major..."

"You're still undecided...?"

Koushiro asks it gently, but Taichi can tell he seems a bit  _concerned; curious_.

Taichi doesn't want him to be  _concerned_  about that, but...

"...Yeah, I think. I was never very... studious. Or -  _smart_ , to be honest. I can  _follow along_  somewhat, but... as for  _what I want to do_  with  _the rest of my life..._ "

He frowns down hard at his remaining pastry.

"I don't... know."

"I used to be on the football team in -- elementary school, but I kind of... gave it up."

"I couldn't really go anywhere with that  _now_ , either."

He looks back up after a moment.

Koushiro looks... sympathetic.

"Was football your... passion?"

Taichi blinks a bit. Stares down at the pastry again.

"...Maybe. It  _was_  -  _super cool_  to play and really  _fun_  while it lasted, and of course I still  _watch_  other games - and watching the major matches on tv is still awesome, too! - but--"

"...I don't think...  _playing it_  is--"

( _For me, anymore._ )

He blinks a bit more; harder. Damn, he better not get teary.

Koushiro smiles at him, a bit sadly, this time.

"...I believe I understand what you mean."

"I won't push the subject if you don't want to, but..."

"If at all possible, I'd like -- to see you play, sometime."

Taichi whips his head back up, stares at him --

\-- Koushiro holds his gaze.

_Koushiro -- wants to see him play --_

He repeats the thought in his mind.

...Stores it away for now.

They relax.

Koushiro mentions, he still needs a major though, right?

Taichi nods, picking at the pastry, again.

"...You know, archaeology wasn't my first choice, either."

Taichi starts, and Koushiro goes on to explain - he knew he wanted to do  _something_  he could relate to both tech ( _especially_ tech) and possibly science (tech also did involve science...), but he hadn't been sure  _which_  area, because there were  _so many_  those could be related to. In the end, he had  _somehow_  thought about archaeology... and then  _the opportunity to help kids like himself_  came through, so he  _combined_  them...

Taichi asks in surprise -  _how much_  schooling did Koushiro need for all of that?

( _Really, he had skipped high school after all, right-? Not to mention junior high school and the rest--!_ )

Koushiro explains, and Taichi is  _floored_.

At least  _two-four years of undergraduate study_  ( _Koushiro chose four, for overall coverage_ ) --  _two-three years for a Masters_  --  _three-four years for a PH.D._  --  _years of networking with various organizations (including international ones!) and working his way up_  ( _Koushiro was still working on that_ ) -- _field research_ \-- a  _written dissertation_  --

_And that was just for the archaeology part itself._

_No wonder_  he had  _skipped so much regular school_ , if it meant  _he could get a head start on that_.

Taichi feels a bit  _weak_ , thinking about it all.

Koushiro notices his unease, and quickly tries to re-guide the conversation.

"...Taichi-san. I don't think you're..." He pauses, trying to find the right word to use.

Taichi tilts his head a bit, trying to grin, at least.

"A 'lost cause'?" he jokes.

Koushiro's gaze turns sympathetic again and he feels like hitting himself. (Again.)

"...That, perhaps. But I very much believe - there's  _a place_  for you."

Taichi blinks a bit in response, mouth slightly open.

_Koushiro..._

(This boy he only just met _yesterday_...)

( _Is saying... he thinks... Taichi can--_ )

_Is it just him, or has his heart begun beating suddenly faster--?_

"Oh, Taichi-san," Koushiro adds suddenly, black eyes suddenly  _more intent_ ,

Intent, but rounded --

Koushiro's opening his mouth slightly, breathing out -

" _You missed a spot._ "

And before he knows it, Koushiro has  _moved, leaning over the table towards him --_

_\-- Swipes some cream from the edge of Taichi's mouth._

_Spreads a bit on the edge of his upper lip._

_Puts the tip of his finger holding the rest of the cream into his mouth to taste._

_Licking -- both his finger and the cream off his lip._

Taichi's  _frozen_  where he's sitting.

Koushiro is still leaning, his tie hanging down in the empty space between them.

"... _Good_ ," Koushiro says, once he's finished,

_Eyes still intently on Taichi._

Taichi's about ready to  _black out_   _again_.

*

Fortunately, he somehow makes it through the rest of the conversation (...and school day).

They meet back up at the front once Taichi's classes are done.

"Um, so..." Taichi begins hesitantly, awkwardly lingering -

\-- uncertain which direction to head in.

Koushiro is still, standing there, hands gently clenched around the straps of his bag --

\-- tilts his head in response.

"You're still  _welcome_ , of course, but..."

"You're... not returning to your dorm-?"

Taichi winces.

_...They begin walking_.

Taichi explains, a bit hesitantly.

He's the only one in his dorm right now - he has no roommate (and doesn't particularly care for roommates, anyhow - he can handle them, socialize if he _has to_ , just...) but it does get a bit -- ( _Lonely_...)

He does have his childhood home apartment in Odaiba, too, but his little sister is away now too, studying to become an  _elementary teacher_ , and it's awkward to drop in on his parents...

( _Also, Yamato will be at his own room in the same area, and Sora's probably with him, and--_ )

(He  _swears_  he's  _not_  bothered by this, he  _does_  want to give them space and not accidentally run into them, _to be a good friend_ , just--)

He doesn't speak of that out loud, of  _them_ , but Koushiro's suddenly  _shifting a bit closer_ ,  _hips nearly touching his_  --  _walking in place with him_.

"...Then, let's go home."

They keep walking - in the direction of Koushiro's place.

_Koushiro had said he didn't mind_  ( _would prefer_ )  _"company", after all._

*

Once they arrive, Taichi's caught a little by surprise. It looks a bit _different_ \--

The bright golden light of the sunset is drifting in through the window shades, illuminating the room in both light and dark shades of beautiful gold --

He looks over and down at Koushiro, who smiles gently back up at him.

The golden light is highlighting parts of his hair, washing over his face, illuminating his black eyes --

*

It'll still be dark and gloomy again later, but for now, it almost looks like an actual...

*

(" _Home_ ")

*

They remember to turn on the lights, this time.

...Until they go off again at bedtime, anyhow.

*

Except, this time, he - they --

...drift off into a sound sleep.

*

(If only it had stayed that sound.)

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- PROGRESS ??  
> \- ok so to clarify a bit on the earlier nsfw part again too, but considering the remaining plot of this fic I also didn't want Taichi to just. Accidentally walk in on Koushiro and see his scars like that or something... I mean he does kind of stumble on them still but at least Koushiro was wanting him there (and would have warned him if he remembered)? So that's why that part is there yeah. Hahaha.  
> \- also Koushiro only has one bed so. They were. Gonna wind up there anyway (haha) (sorry Taichi)  
> \- There's also the end bit there because. Yes. Shenanigans. Dreams!! Whoooo. DREAMS. (??)  
> \- basically yes there's a reason for everything (I tried)  
> \- how are Taichi, Yamato, and Sora here in this universe, anyway?? Who knows??  
> \- maybe it's not like how one may be thinking?  
> \- also yes WOW KOUSHIRO  
> \- Koushiro there, probably: "...U-mai." (WOW KOUSHIRO)  
> \- I swear this fic (+Taichi & Koushiro) is writing itself ok I don't even know how they're doing it THAT'S JUST HOW THEY ARE  
> \- though I might have taken a bit of inspiration from the scene in Tri with Taichi and the doughnuts yup  
> \- as for the end. Dun dun dunnnn ?


	6. 6 (Cliche)

(" _That's **why I love Koushiro**. He's  **absolutely amazing**  and he  **doesn't even realize it.**_ ")  
  
*  
  
"Hey, Koushiro?... Don't you think almost everything is kinda like a... 'clich'-- 'clich _h_ '..."  
  
"' _Cliché_ '?..."  
  
"Yeah,  _that_... Like, doesn't  _so much of it feel_  -  _repetitive_? In an  _almost annoying way?_ "  
  
Koushiro is quiet, his clasped fingers fidgeting a bit.  
  
"...I understand what you mean. I've thought so before, too..."  
  
He doesn't explain why.  
  
_Like how he can never seem to find the right words to say.  
  
Like how he sometimes feels like he -- wishes -- he could -- **melt** \-- into the computer screen.  
  
**Like how he's felt like that ever since he overheard his parents, that very first night**.  
  
Like how he feels like a ' **m i s t a k e** '.  
  
...Like how he isn't really as smart as he sounds._  
  
"Like... it's just so-  _so_ \--"  
  
Taichi fidgets, running a finger over some of the grass where he's sitting.  
  
"I don't know, but it's almost like... like every possible  _word_  --  _line_! --  _ever_  is 'clic _h_ - _é_ ', you know?"  
  
"Even, like --  _us_  --  _you're_  the  _ultra-smart one_ , and  _I'm_  the  _dumb one_ , and, it's like... like..."  
  
"But  _you're_  still  _amazing_ , and meanwhile  _I'm_..."  
  
Taichi groans and stops messing with the blade of grass, flopping backwards, to rest on his arms.  
  
...Koushiro sits up a little straighter.  
  
"I'm not really that amazing..."  
  
Taichi sits up again almost  _immediately_ , turns to stare at him in  _surprise_ , almost --  
  
" _You are_! You're -- you're  _cool_ ,  _always - thinking of a way through_ , a ' _solution_ ' -- all the  _awesome things_  you do with your computer--"  
  
"But  _me_ \--"  
  
("I can maybe find my way through _in a pinch_ ,  _sometimes- by pure dumb luck--_ ")  
  
(" _But in the end_ \--")  
  
(" _I'm just the 'dumb one'_ "--)  
  
Taichi trails off. Koushiro gulps in a bit, so quietly Taichi can't even hear.  
  
(He doesn't say what  _he's_  thinking--)  
  
(" _...I'm just. Repeating what I've **read** \-- **memorized** \-- in books... **online**..._ ")  
  
"How does someone even come up with ' _original_ ' things, anyway?"  
  
Taichi leans back again with a groan.  
  
"The fact that you can do that  _at all_  -- Koushiro, you're  _amazing_."  
  
Koushiro doesn't know how to reply.  
  
On one hand, he feels a bit...  
  
(Fluttery...?)  
  
But on the other...  
  
(" _I'm really not that amazing._ ")  
  
...He wonders what Taichi-san sees in him.  
  
*  
  
( _Hey, Koushiro?_ )  
  
( _What did Koushiro see in him, anyway_?)  
  
*  
  
(" _In this kind of_ **clichéd** _story, there must only be_ **one ending**.")  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- The opening quote is actually by "Tai" in the old Tokyopop translated manhua, but it's Taishiro centric too and super sweet to be honest, so I can't help but relate it here...!  
> \- Link to an old tumblr post on it for reference: http://izzyizumi.tumblr.com/post/137533489745/  
> \- I do feel like "Taichi" may feel similar towards "Koushiro" anyhow, despite things mentioned below  
> \- Also, this chapter is meant to, well - showcase some possible (childhood or otherwise) insecurities, you could say?  
> \- I feel like sometimes this fandom... maybe forgets "Taichi" is a separate entity from "Tai" (as is "Koushiro" and "Izzy") too, even though we love them all, and even despite an increased awareness of the sub thanks to Tri -- Taichi, I feel, (also as an equally Japanese boy as Koushiro is) has insecurities just as much as any other character (even including Tai -- but Tai does have that similar kind of vibe going on, too...) Meanwhile, Taichi's insecurities also show clearly in Episode 21 alone, during his various ("deep") monologues (also in Tri during multiple moments), in the movie "Our War Game", and also in the CD dramas (such as the one I linked previously). So, this chapter is meant to... showcase that a little, I guess?  
> \- I mean, Taichi's (canonically) supposed to become a governmental Ambassador? Law-related work? Do you know how HARD that is?? And the schooling for it (as previously mentioned)?? Taichi's gonna have to work super extremely hard in a way he probably hasn't before in his lifetime?? And will have to be taken seriously for it?? Not to mention this is taking place in Japan and not America?? (Even if it's canonically Digital World related, still??) Meanwhile take an aimless Taichi who hasn't met Koushiro - and...?? (I HAVE A LOT OF BOTH PRE-02 AND OLDER!TAICHI FEELINGS??)  
> \- Also considering AU shenanigans. Which Taichi & Koushiro are these? As always, who knows?  
> \- Tbh I started this thought with the college AU Taichi & Koushiro in mind (during a later segment perhaps?) but somehow it drifted into more like an Adventures timeline Taichi & Koushiro ...  
> \- It's also meant to reflect some of "Koushiro"'s possible worries in relation to his own personality and past. (More elaboration on this is possibly to come.)  
> \- A line here also references Koushiro's Tri character song, "Kioku no Kakera" / "Shards of Memory":  
> "A closed wall to encourage you with the words ["Right" "I want to know" "Mistake"] written all over"  
> Link to translation: https://minknowl.tumblr.com/post/158979146658/  
> \- The final line is also a quote from the Kagerou Days song (since it does still semi-relate to this AU) and the overall theme of this segment too ... dun dun (yeah)  
> \- with all that said, still, Taichi, like Koushiro implied in the last chapter, give yourself more credit!! (Should. Should I be saying that)


	7. 7 (Nightmare)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- warning: Koushiro ? is um. Kind of. Scary. Here. Y e a h. (I'm sorry)  
> \- please note the chapter title

" _Isn't it beautiful, **Taichi**?_ "  
  
Taichi's frozen where he stands.  
  
Koushiro, before him, lifts a palm, electricity crackling at his fingertips, as if it was dancing.  
  
( _As if Koushiro himself was dancing_ )  
  
Electric, like the lightning bolts on Koushiro's shoes.  
  
Electricity, like that surrounding Koushiro's feet, too.  
  
"With this, I can do  _ **anything**._ "  
  
" _ **I can create computer code itself** \- **modify the entire Digital World with it** \--_"  
  
He writes:  
  
**R E P E A T?_ Y/N_**  
  
In the air, using the electric sparks.  
  
With a snap of the finger and another spark --  
  
\-- Makes it disappear.  
  
The distorted digital space around them crackles, ominously.  
  
" _...Make it disappear._ "  
  
Koushiro turns to him, grinning, eerily, slowly pointing a fingertip crackling with electricity in his direction.  
  
At _him_.  
  
"...I could even make  _myself_  disappear, if I so  _wished_."  
  
The electricity has another flare-up,  _encircling Koushiro_  --  
  
Taichi starts - but he's frozen, too --  
  
"Isn't this power  _interesting_?  ** _Ta-i-chi_.** "  
  
Koushiro's  _watching_  him.  
  
His eyes are so dark it's like there's no light in them at all --  
  
Taichi clenches his fists, _angrily_.  
  
" _ **You're not Koushiro**._ "  
  
" _Koushiro only calls me_ **Taichi** _- **san**._ "  
  
"Koushiro", at least, looks momentarily surprised, eyes widening, large dark red eyebrows raising.  
  
Mouth pursed into a tiny, thin line.  
  
...It quickly relaxes into a grin.  
  
"... _Very good, Taichi- **san**. You  **noticed**._ "  
  
" _But, it's too late._ "  
  
The electricity crackles even stronger.  
  
The dimension around them is flickering to the point Taichi almost can't see at points.  
  
He cries out, trying to keep his eyes trained on Koushiro --  
  
" _Taichi- **san** , you were right._"  
  
" _ **I'm not Koushiro** \--_"  
  
" _And yet, **I am Koushiro**._ "  
  
This isn't right --  
  
_This isn't right_! --  
  
_Koushiro doesn't want this_!! --  
  
( _Koushiro, stop saying that_!!--)  
  
" _Stop!_  Koushiro, if you don't stop,  _you'll--_!!"  
  
Koushiro's dead gaze is somehow focused directly on him.  
  
Taichi can see it clearly through the flickering lights and electricity all around.  
  
Koushiro lifts his palms, raises his fingertip crackling with electric sparks --  
  
_Taichi can't move --_  
  
" **_Y** "  
  
" **E** "  
  
\--  
  
\--

-  
  
-

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- This section was half-based off a recent idea/thoughts also inspired by the Kagepro series but fitting for Taishiro in general as well sooo  
> \- basically. If "Koushiro"'s not using "-san" (for Taichi)? RUN (IF YOU CAN)  
> \- related, but Taichi can probably also tell if it's Koushiro or not by his use (or lack of) "-san", because Koushiro is so formal most of the time  
> \- he'd maybe only drop it during a significant moment (or naturally over time, but not unnaturally like this), but tbh he's probably going to keep using "-san" for Taichi particularly forever and Taichi will LIKE IT (a. lot, maybe)  
> \- anyhow, is it Koushiro? Is it not Koushiro? Who knows, but - this may be the end you DON'T want...  
> \- it may not actually turn out this way??  
> \- hence the chapter title  
> \- dun dun dunnnn (I'm sorry)  
> \- also um. possibly he doesn't have his curiosity (mind) here so  
> \- CORRUPTED KOUSHIRO IS SCARY, TAICHI, DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN


	8. 8 (Prophetic)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter warning: you may notice the added 'Anxiety' tag up there. That comes into play here too, yeah...

Taichi _jolts_ awake, sitting up with a gasp.  
  
(That dream -- _nightmare_ \-- just now--)  
  
(That -- that was _KOUSHIRO?_ \--)  
  
Almost immediately after, he hears Koushiro  _scream_.  
  
He _immediately_ whips around to look at Koushiro --  
  
 _Koushiro is crying._  Hands clutching at the sheets beneath, entire body shuddering and shaking.  
  
Pure black eyes widened with fear.  
  
" _TAICHI-SAN--!!_ "  
  
Koushiro gasps it out, nearly choking -- he's _freaking out, badly_ \--  
  
Taichi moves immediately. Places his hands on Koushiro's shoulders.  
  
Clenches them slightly.  
  
"Koushiro, it's ok--!! Look at me!"  
  
Koushiro pants, trying to take in air, as he slowly moves his unfocused gaze upwards to Taichi.  
  
Takes the view of Taichi in. Still shaking.  
  
"You were _dreaming_..." Taichi tries to explain, breathes, "I'm here -- you're ok--"  
  
"You need to calm down...!"  
  
He holds his breath.  
  
Koushiro's gaze focuses a bit more on him. He twitches, hearing Taichi's words.  
  
Takes in a larger gulp of air. Holds it.  
  
Breathes out.  
  
His body is still shuddering from the panic, but not as much.  
  
Taichi exhales, too.  
  
" _Yeah_ , that's right. Come on - breathe--"  
  
Koushiro repeats the process a few more times, Taichi rubbing circles into his shoulders, gently.  
  
Koushiro's body relaxes. Somewhat.  
  
"T-thank you..."  
  
Taichi blinks a bit in surprise. ( _Koushiro's thanking him_...)  
  
"Don't mention it..."  
  
Koushiro shakes his head slightly.  
  
"N-No, what you did -- helped..."  
  
Koushiro takes in another light gulp of air, trying to further even his breathing. Taichi lets him do so.  
  
"Y-You're shaking, though, too--"  
  
Koushiro points out the obvious, but Taichi lets out a shaky chuckle when he does.  
  
"Y-Yeah. Sorry. I'm trying, too--"  
  
He closes his eyes. Does the same, again, as Koushiro had.  
  
His body is still trembling slightly, as was Koushiro's, but at least they're somewhat calmer, now.  
  
Somewhat.  
  
"I... was dreaming."  
  
"But... Taichi-san, this is going to sound _crazy_ \--"  
  
" _You_  were in it--"  
  
Taichi blinks quickly, eyes widening.  
  
 _Koushiro was in his own dream, too_ \--  
  
"I don't... _understand_ \--"  
  
Koushiro's crying had -- at least -- settled down to tear tracks down his face.  
  
Taichi breathes again.  
  
"Koushiro..."  
  
"I... me too. _I_ was dreaming, too--"  
  
Koushiro's eyes snap up to stare at him, wider now.  
  
"It was --  _scary as hell_ , but..."  
  
"If. If you want to talk about. Yours."  
  
"I'll... listen..."  
  
Koushiro's gaze softens.  
  
He nods slowly. Looks down again.  
  
Draws the hem of the sheets between his fingers.  
  
"The ' _me_ ' in that dream... _knew you_... _before_. Taichi-san."  
  
Taichi's breath is caught, again.  
  
"We. We knew each other at school. In your football group -- _you invited me to a summer camp_ \--"  
  
" _I accepted your invitation_ \-- and crazy things began happening--"  
  
" _The Digital World_ \--"  
  
They speak at the same time.  
  
Both of their eyes widen.  
  
"T-Taichi-san, _you_ , too--?!"  
  
Taichi nods, shakily.  
  
"Y...Yeah. A Digital World... I met... you and -- 'Agumon'?"  
  
He sounds out the name.  
  
 _Feels sudden pangs in his chest_.  
  
Koushiro stares hard at him. ...Gulps a bit.  
  
"I met _you_ , too. And... ' _Tentomon_ '..."  
  
"And then... Taichi-san, _you_..."  
  
"We got _back home_ , but _you_ \--"  
  
" _Died_ \--"  
  
Koushiro chokes out the word.  
  
Taichi feels the same word on the tip of his own tongue.  
  
"You had _stepped out into the street_ and--"  
  
" _I couldn't react in time_ , and--"  
  
Taichi exhales.  
  
Moves to cover Koushiro's hand with his own.  
  
Koushiro looks up at him.  
  
They breathe.  
  
"I don't... understand it well either, but..."  
  
"There must be a  _reason_... right?"  
  
Taichi asks the question, looking over at Koushiro.  
  
Koushiro looks hesitant.  
  
"I... read about this before -- I think. In various... science fiction novels... and in psychology, kind of..."  
  
"Our -- dreams -- could be on the _same_... _wavelength_? Sort of like they're... _connected_."  
  
Koushiro breathes out. Taichi nods.  
  
He can understand that much...  
  
"You think... we're having -- similar dreams?"  
  
Koushiro nods in response.  
  
"I don't know if -- this is just because of... _how we met_ \--"  
  
Taichi winces a bit, remembering --  
  
"Or because of --  _me_ , particularly, but--"  
  
He looks down at the sheet.  
  
Taichi thinks maybe he's staring through it -- thinking of his scarred legs beneath it.  
  
"Maybe... because of my past -- accident -- I'm... ' _flashing back_ ' and..."  
  
Koushiro trails off.  
  
Taichi's hand clenches Koushiro's tighter.  
  
Koushiro looks over, again.  
  
Taichi holds his gaze.  
  
"...Why don't we get up, now--?"  
  
*  
  
This time, _Taichi makes Koushiro breakfast_.  
  
It's _way_ too early and the place is still dark, it's technically still nighttime out, but...  
  
Taichi moves about Koushiro's small kitchen, finding everything he needs.  
  
Koushiro sits quietly at the small table, first staring down at his folded hands --  
  
\-- Then looking up to watch Taichi, with a wondering gaze.  
  
 _Taichi makes the_ best _omelette he possibly can_.  
  
He had done this for Hikari _so many times_ when he was younger, but now --  
  
Now he was making it for --  
  
He finishes cooking and, after checking Koushiro's fridge for some extra things, sets out various plates and bowls on the table.  
  
Omelette. Rice bowls. Ketchup, just because.  
  
(It does go well, after all. _Omurice_ is definitely a thing.)  
  
He takes the smaller plates and bowls for himself.  
  
Pushes the larger ones towards Koushiro.  
  
Koushiro stares at it for a long moment, then him, curiously.  
  
Moves to take a bite.  
  
Taichi watches in anticipation as he chews carefully, swallows, looks up --  
  
Grins, Koushiro's face lighting up --  
  
" _Delicious._ "  
  
Taichi can't stop himself from beaming.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- DREAMS (???)  
> \- TAICHI IS GOOD (I'M SORRY TAICHI) (YOU ARE GOOD)  
> \- KETCHUP WITH EGGS (TAICHI'S OMURICE) (IT'S GOOD!! IT'S GOOD OK!!)  
> \- Koushiro voice: "Umai." ("...!")  
> \- I really really like references and parallels??  
> \- in the Japanese novels, it's revealed that Taichi definitely invited Koushiro to the summer camp (also, they were in the same soccer/football team together) and you should seriously read what's been translated if you haven't already (particularly those Koushiro sections, but the rest, too):  
> Link: http://digitalscratch.pmsinfirm.org/3767


	9. 9 (Incident)

"...Taichi-san, how much do you know about the ' _Hikarigaoka Incident_ '?"  
  
Taichi looks up quickly -- in surprise.  
  
They're back at the same quiet, empty room they had "lunch" in, before.  
  
And Koushiro had just asked --  
  
"...Wait.  _Hikarigaoka_ \--?"  
  
Taichi blinks hard, thinking --  
  
"That's... that's where we  _used_  to live, before  _moving_  to Odaiba..."  
  
Koushiro starts at first, making Taichi confused, but then nods, slowly --  
  
"How much do you know -- remember?" Koushiro asks, again.  
  
His eyes are settled on Taichi now.  
  
Taichi shifts a bit --  
  
"Well, uh... not that much... it's a bit fuzzy. It was a long time ago, so..."  
  
"You don't remember?"  
  
"...All I remember is that, maybe -- something happened? That made us move..."  
  
Koushiro nods slowly, again --  
  
"...Something did happen, back then."  
  
"Huh?" Taichi stares at Koushiro, now, again in surprise --  
  
( _Why does he have a sudden bad -- uneasy? -- feeling--?_ )

( _Like the--_ )  
  
"A ' _terrorist_ ' incident."  
  
Taichi blinks rapidly.  
  
There's silence --  
  
He slowly gapes at Koushiro --  
  
(' _A -- a ter--_ ')  
  
"That's _what they called it_ , anyway."  
  
Koushiro frowns down at his hands, now clasped together on the table --  
  
"...Except there's no extended records of it --  _anywhere_."  
  
"No camera footage, no news reports or logs describing the damage or the repair efforts --  _nothing_."  
  
"The only brief news coverage it got described it as a random 'terrorist attack'..."  
  
Koushiro trails off.  
  
Taichi blinks rapidly again, processing this new information --  
  
"So... you're saying, they called it an ' _attack_ '," Taichi rephrases, slowly --  
  
"And they never even got any _details_...?"  
  
Koushiro nods, confirming his realization.  
  
"However, there  _were_  some reports... -- of strange  _incidents_  occuring in  _other areas_.  _At the same time_."  
  
"In  _other countries_."  
  
Taichi frowns as he follows along, realizing --  
  
"One of the 'incidents' left an area in a similar condition to the Hikarigaoka bridge, which was ' _attacked_ ' previously. It, unlike in Hikarigaoka, however, occured in the outskirts of that country -- somewhat more fortunately."  
  
"...My next archaeological dig is scheduled there."  
  
Taichi's eyes widen and he gapes again --  
  
(' _Oh, so that's_ \--')  
  
Koushiro falls momentarily quiet, his head lowered as he thinks, eyes hidden --  
  
( _Taichi isn't sure if he should ask, 'are you ok?'_ \--)  
  
\-- ...Eventually raises his head again to smile gently, at Taichi.  
  
"...Would you like to come with me?"  
  
"It's a bit of an --  _advanced_  area, but, since you were interested..."  
  
Koushiro trails off, eyes looking down and to the left, as if he was thinking Taichi  _wouldn't_  --  
  
"Yeah--!!"  
  
Taichi's hands are now on the table as he leans forward a bit --  
  
"Of course I'll come with you-! I want to see your work -- really!!"  
  
Koushiro looks back up quickly --  
  
\-- meets Taichi's excited eyes --  
  
\-- slowly gives another gentle smile.  
  
"...Then, we'll go."  
  
*  
  
(" _Besides, how could I just LEAVE you after all this--?!_ ")  
  
*  
  
A hidden gaze.  
  
(" _...My parents died there._ ")  
  
(" _...In the Hikarigaoka incident._ ")  
  
Words left --  
  
( _U n s p o k e n ... ??_ )  
  
*  
  
They're leaving the campus, heading down the stairs to the lower level --  
  
_When it happens_  --  
  
Koushiro was holding his things, walking beside Taichi --  
  
\--  _His foot_  is suddenly  _out_  --  _in front of him._  
  
... _They're at the top of the stairs_  --  
  
"KOUSHIRO--!!"  
  
Koushiro's eyes widen, his things clattering behind him as he --  
  
\--  _Falls_  --  
  
\--  _...?_  
  
He  _had_  fallen -- felt his body collide with -- something--?  
  
...After a long moment of quiet, he opens his eyes, only to see --  
  
_He's half hanging over Taichi_  --  
  
Taichi had grabbed the hand rail above him  _just_  in time, arm stretched out, still holding it --  
  
His opposite leg stretched out on the stairs below, to hold them in place.  
  
... _He's half on top of Taichi_.  
  
_Taichi just saved him from_  --  
  
Koushiro's eyes were impossibly wide, and he's staring into Taichi's equally widened eyes --  
  
"... _Got you_!"  
  
Taichi exclaims it  _breathlessly_ , breathing a bit hard, after --  
  
Koushiro blinks rapidly --  
  
As he takes in the sight of Taichi now  _absolutely beaming_ , a  _ridiculously huge grin_  on his face --  
  
Koushiro can't help his own face mimicking a similar expression --  
  
_His heart is beating rapidly now, too_  --  
  
_Maybe it was from the adrenaline rush, or maybe it was because of_  ... ...--  
  
_But_  --  
  
\--  _They burst out laughing._  
  
*  
  
(" _...Yeah, you did._ ")  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- This chapter is a bit shaky I think, um  
> \- Partly because I was uncertain which direction to go with in their conversation  
> \- I wanted to keep it lighthearted for the ending moment of that section but if Koushiro brings in [the accident] or [the Digimon] it kind of makes it... yeah  
> \- maybe I'll keep it like this?  
> \- maybe I'll write alternative versions later  
> \- it might be out of order here ? but uncertain where to place it (here? before the previous chapter?)  
> \- it seems to work here for now?  
> \- they did have to discuss Hikarigaoka at least briefly though either way  
> \- Koushiro's motives re: going there (to the dig site) are difficult but let's just say it. isn't actually purely because of that  
> \- (even if he's difficult)  
> \- it'll be touched upon again in later chapters  
> \- he's going for non-Hikarigaoka related things too of course (also the helping adopted kids aspect) but yeah  
> \- like. if in Tri, Meiko was a Chosen and encountered Meicoomon at that young age. ?? ???  
> \- it isn't the case for Meiko exactly, but what if Hikarigaoka too had a ripple effect elsewhere ??  
> \- as for the ending section again wanted a lighthearted moment  
> \- KOUSHIRO GETS TO SEE TAICHI LAUGH FOR THE FIRST TIME ?? (KOUSHIRO GETS TO LAUGH LIKE THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME)  
> \- ok but seriously Koushiro BE CAREFUL  
> \- (I. might have gotten a bit of inspiration for that bit from a ... DNAngel series manga scene of ages old um. The early scene where in that manga, Satoshi catches Daisuke at the end of a staircase and he's grabbing at the handle above it and holding Daisuke otherwise?? y e a h)  
> \- (this is how you can tell I've been here wayyyyy too long I'M SORRY.....)  
> \- there's been Taishiro arts in the past where they're at school around the stairs so I guess my mind combined that too yeah  
> \- but if you have stairs (or similar) again, Koushiro, BE CAREFUL


	10. 10 (Shards)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I'M SORRY  
> \- I'M REALLY SORRY  
> \- I'M SORRY FOR BABY KOUSHIRO  
> \- chapter warning: pain. (Koushiro has some um. Depressive thoughts here. Yeah. ;;)  
> \- chapter warning: it's the night (event) of the car accident (so. you can probably imagine why. ;;)

_Koushiro couldn't breathe_.  
  
_There were flames, everywhere_ \--  
  
_Roaring fire, everywhere_ \--  
  
_Glass, shards of glass everywhere_ \--  
  
The _smell_ of _something, crackling_ \-- ( _e-lec-tric-ity_??)  
  
( _Or was that also fire_??)  
  
He gives out a choked scream.  
  
Tries to move his legs.  
  
_Can't_.  
  
He's trapped. Under pieces of the -- _car_ \--  
  
_His parents' car_ \--  
  
Koushiro shakes his head rapidly, squeezing his teary eyes shut.  
  
_If he stays here, he'll **die**. **He'll die**_ \--  
  
_He desperately tries to move_.  
  
_He has to_ \-- _escape_ \-- _survive_ \-- _live_ \--  
  
He looks down. _..._  
  
He cries out again. Squeezes his eyes shut again.  
  
(' _ **No**! **It doesn't matter**! It **hurts** , it's **scary** , that's **obvious** , but you have to **move** , or it'll **hurt even worse when you**_ \--!')  
  
He's so young, still, but somehow, his mind still seems to be _rational_ , strangely _educated_ , screaming instructions at him.  
  
Koushiro evens his breathing, somehow.  
  
('... _Does it matter? If that happens_ \--?')  
  
(' _I'm barely even old yet_...')  
  
(' _I was enjoying myself up until now, but_...')  
  
(' _There's still so much I don't understand_...')  
  
Can't understand? -- he's only a child, after all.  
  
(' _You **have** to move, **you have to move** , you **have** to **move** , you **have to**_ -')  
  
An image of _his parents_ freezes into his mind.  
  
_The parents he loved so much, that helped raise him_...  
  
_They were a tiny family, and due to his father's job, didn't have much contact with their distant relatives_ \--  
  
\-- _and he didn't have a ton of possessions, he wasn't spoiled, after all_ \--  
  
\-- _but he did have what he needed -- every day had been pleasant, even fun_ \--  
  
\-- _he had been learning as much as he could_ \--  
  
\-- _and they were so nice to him_...  
  
Koushiro furiously blinks away tears. Shakes his head again.  
  
_He knows_.  
  
_They're not here, anymore_.  
  
_But they'd want him to be_.  
  
_To live_.  
  
_Live_.  
  
(' _LIVE_ \--!!')  
  
He gasps.  
  
Somehow, with some effort, he manages to twist around his small body.  
  
He falls forward slightly from where he was trapped.  
  
He can smell a burning, foul odor.  
  
( _He doesn't fully know about gasoline yet_.)  
  
_His legs hurt so much he feels like he's on fire, but he isn't_  ( _yet?_ ) --  
  
(' _You know this is wrong!_ ')  
  
(' _You weren't here before_ \--!!')  
  
( _Or was he_?)  
  
( _Maybe he had forgotten_.)  
  
(' _Still_ \-- _you have to reach_ \--')  
  
He pulls himself forward and out using his hands, grasping onto anything he can that's half-safe.  
  
(' _You were excited about starting school, weren't you_ \--? _You wanted to become smart, strong, like your_ \--')  
  
(' _I know! I know!!_ ')  
  
There's a break in between some rubble.  
  
He can see the vague outline of the dark ground beneath.  
  
(' _Almost there, **almost there** , almost there, **almost the**_ -')  
  
He tumbles through, sharp edges scraping against his skin.  
  
( _But it won't be as bad as his legs_.)  
  
He rolls out from underneath onto the ground.  
  
Looks up at the starry sky above him.  
  
Doesn't look at the burning car - rubble -- beside him.  
  
_Almost instantly, a spotlight shines_.  
  
He shields his eyes.  
  
A spotlight? Like -- heli -- a helico--?  
  
No, it wasn't that, or there'd be deafening sound.  
  
He blinks rapidly through the bright light.  
  
Somehow focuses.  
  
Above him --  
  
_The destroyed bridge_ , also becoming rubble --  
  
Two ... _monsters_.  
  
_Humongous monsters_.  
  
_An orange dinosaur_ \-- _strong looking_ \-- _powerful_? --  
  
_A green, angry and terrifying-looking bird_.  
  
He tries to not scream.  
  
( _He knows which one he wants to win_.)  
  
( _Knows which one of the two was responsible for_ \-- _this_ \--)  
  
(" _Please!! Please beat him--!!_ ")  
  
The dinosaur's eye somehow moves --  
  
\-- _looks straight at him_.  
  
Koushiro, on his back, the spotlight on him, catches his eye with a gasp of surprise.  
  
Just before the monsters' eye had moved --  
  
\-- _a whistle had been sounded_.  
  
_The dinosaur rises_.  
  
_The battle ends_.  
  
_Daybreak_.  
  
...He closes his eyes.  
  
*

Koushiro suddenly wakes up one night, _screaming_.  
  
He's clinging to Taichi, and Taichi's shaking himself, because _he's scared for Koushiro_ but also, those dreams --  
  
"T-Taichi-san, the _city_ \-- _the metal city_ \-- _oh god_ \--"  
  
Taichi looks back at him in shock.  
  
_He just had a dream, too_ \--  
  
He looks down at Koushiro's bare, but completely scarred legs.  
  
_Scarred, like from huge shards of glass flying everywhere_.  
  
He looks back up at Koushiro, who seems to be fighting back a sob.  
  
"T-Taichi-san. .... _These_."  
  
" _Weren't from the car accident_."  
  
Koushiro sucks in a hard breath.  
  
"M-Maybe. Or maybe they _were_ , and it... _combined_ , somehow. _Connected_ \--"  
  
"But, _in that metal city_ \-- _the glass shards_ \--"  
  
" _They cut up all along my legs_ and -- _when the windows exploded_ \-- and I was holding onto you and _I couldn't move my legs_ , _it hurt so much_ , _I couldn't_ , _and_ \--"  
  
"But my memories  _here_  -- _I was still in the car accident_ , and I was _trapped under the metal and glass_ , and _my legs were still all cut up_ , and _I couldn't move them_ because it hurt  _so much_  and--"  
  
Taichi grabs him, himself also shaking, and holds him close against his chest.  
  
Koushiro sobs against him.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I SWEAR I'M SORRY  
> \- there are parallels and references here too though er  
> \- the end section is an alternative version of another future end section kind of ??  
> \- i'll clarify with that next chapter  
> \- ok but seriously young Koushiro PROTECT BABY KOUSHIRO


	11. 11 (City)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I'M EXTREMELY SORRY  
> \- chapter warning: Mugendramon arc  
> \- warning: serious injury treatment. yeah.  
> \- more warnings: more psuedo-deaths (I'M SORRY)  
> \- (also, I'm definitely not a doctor re: treatment. I tried with this part but yeah)

Koushiro Izumi's -  _his best friends'_  - legs are covered in _large, deep injuries_.  
  
_The glass shards_ cut all up along his legs, from the ankles to what looked like even his upper thighs.  
  
Taichi doesn't know how he managed to get them both out of there, but by pure adrenaline rush, holding tightly onto Koushiro's waist so he wouldn't slip off MetalGreymon, they managed to find... an abandoned church?  
  
("It was good enough!") Taichi's mind cried, ("Koushiro needs help!!")  
  
While MetalGreymon ran, Koushiro was sobbing against his back, clinging to him -- and it killed Taichi over and over, knowing his best friend was in so much pain,  _partly - completely - because of him_ , Koushiro seriously got some serious injuries, those wouldn't heal overnight,  _Koushiro needed help_  --  
  
Hikari was still on his mind, too,  _obviously, he couldn't forget about her either_ , but the one needing immediate assistance was Koushiro, Taichi realized.  
  
Finally realized. It was the friends he was dragging along that needed the immediate assistance.  
  
(" _Oh god, oh god, oh god, it's all my fault he--_ ")  
  
Taichi sucks in a deep breath when he's finally able to see the extent of Koushiro's injuries.  
  
They really  _do_  go all up his legs, definitely past the bottoms of his shorts, not a single spot was spared, though some spots on his legs fared better than others - but Taichi wasn't a doctor like Jou,  _how was he supposed to help Koushiro_ \--??  
  
...Almost without thinking, the process seems to come to him.  
  
Shakily, he looks around...  
  
Because the church was kind of run down, there's an old cloth hanging nearby, somehow miraculously.  
  
Taichi snatches it and starts getting to work.  
  
Even though he shakes terribly, he manages to strip the cloth up into large pieces, and works on stopping the bleeding, first and foremost. He knows this much... he can do this... he has to do this...  
  
He wraps up Koushiro's legs as best as he can -- he doesn't know if there's still glass shards (he assumes there might be, though) -- but it's ok as long as they're wrapped first, right? -- if they can just get back to the others, Sora can maybe treat that part later -- he tries to not jolt Koushiro too much, at least --  
  
Tentomon's fluttering about nervously behind him, but he isn't panicking, at least --  
  
Agumon seems far more worried, commenting every once in a while with Tentomon, but Taichi's too focused to answer.  
  
Koushiro's near delirious as he works.  
  
His eyes are clenched shut, and he's breathing hard, and moaning in pain wherever Taichi touches ( _god, it was his fault_ ), and his mouth is opening and closing and forming half-words Taichi can barely hear in between moans, and --  
  
Taichi freezes a bit at first, but then he decides, no, that's stupid.  
  
It doesn't matter if this is where Koushiro is injured, he needs treatment.  
  
"Koushiro," he tries to keep his voice steady, "Koushiro, your shorts -- I need to--?"  
  
Koushiro seems to understand -- his breathing pauses momentarily as he struggles to gulp in air.  
  
His eyes are still closed but he seems to send a shaky nod in Taichi's direction.  
  
Taichi isn't going to get distracted by this. He's just going to treat the area and he'll be done.  
  
He nods to himself. That isn't important right now.  
  
What's important is saving Koushiro.  
  
He keeps his eyes trained on the cuts, first and foremost -- it's a bit difficult to wrap the makeshift bandages in these areas, but somehow he manages.  
  
Koushiro's breathing is still erratic, but at least his eyes seem to have relaxed a bit from the tension.  
  
He ties some of the last bandages carefully, and then moves to replace Koushiro's clothing.  
  
"T-Ta -- ch -- san- --"  
  
" _Shh_ ," Taichi tries to shush him, he doesn't want Koushiro to move too much --  
  
\-- But Koushiro shifts just slightly, lifting his hips just enough Taichi can quickly move the clothes back up, before dropping again with another groan of pain.  
  
"ch -- san- sor--"  
  
"Didn't I say ' _shh_ '?--"  
  
Taichi carefully moves the clothes back up all the way, and lets out a breath.  
  
Koushiro's legs are bandaged, now.  
  
It's not the best, obviously, when Sora can replace the bandages they'll look much neater, but for now --  
  
For now, they're stopping the flow, and hopefully they'll lessen Koushiro's pain.  
  
That's what's important.  
  
Koushiro's chest moves up and down with his hard breathing, and his wrist twitches next to him.  
  
"Ta-- ich-- san..."  
  
He struggles, but slowly he opens an eye a third of the way, peeking out and staring unfocusedly in Taichi's direction.  
  
"Sorr--"  
  
Taichi starts.  
  
Was he apologizing?  
  
"Don't apologize...!" Taichi says, shakily, pressing down against the floor near where Koushiro lay.  
  
"There's nothing to apologize for, ok?!--"  
  
(" _I'M the one who should be apologizing!!_ \--")  
  
"K-Koushiro, just try and get some rest, we'll talk later--"  
  
Koushiro sucks in another shaky breath.  
  
His unfocused gaze seems to drift out more.  
  
"O-...k--"  
  
"Than...k..."  
  
He drifts into a half-delirious sleep.  
  
Taichi holds his breath for a few more long moments, then exhales.  
  
...Koushiro was thanking him.  
  
_Koushiro_. _Was thanking him_.  
  
...He didn't deserve it.  
  
*  
  
Somehow, he had managed to carry Koushiro back to the safe house on his back, but then --  
  
\-- _Mugendramon_ \--  
  
Taichi cried out as they fell.  
  
Reached blindly in the darkness --  
  
\-- _Grabbed Koushiro's hand_.  
  
_Wrapped his arms around Koushiro's waist_.  
  
_If anything, maybe he could still save_ \--  
  
*  
  
Somehow, they managed to break their fall. He doesn't know how.  
  
All he knows is when he wakes up, they're underground.  
  
His back aches like hell, especially with Koushiro on top of him, but Koushiro --  
  
Koushiro -- he was -- somewhat ok, but --  
  
The erratic breathing had started again.  
  
The bandages still looked mostly ok -- some of the wounds had opened up again during the fall -- but the bandages seemed to be staying in place, at least, catching the blood there was.  
  
Taichi drew in a shaky breath.  
  
_He had to keep helping Koushiro_.  
  
*  
  
He manages to pull them into a nearby doorway covered by metal fences.  
  
This would have to do for a hiding spot for now.  
  
His body is still aching all over, but if he's feeling like this, Koushiro must feel fifty times -- a thousand times -- _a million times_ \-- worse.  
  
Taichi tries to catch his breath, too.  
  
...At least, they're somehow still safe.  
  
For now.  
  
His eyes slip shut momentarily, then open.  
  
*  
  
Suddenly, they weren't in the underground building, anymore --  
  
\-- _They were surrounded by a -- cave_.  
  
*  
  
He doesn't understand what happened.  
  
_Where the hell were they_ \--?  
  
Tentomon and Agumon look around, but all they find are more caves.  
  
_...At the least... at the least_ \--  
  
_The caves_ almost seem to give them _more shelter_ , somehow, than the underground area did.  
  
There seems to be no one around for ages, the Digimon report.  
  
And Koushiro still needs time to recover, so --  
  
Taichi sits down next to his friend and exhales, trying to calm down again, too.  
  
Time passes, filled with nothing but Koushiro's hard breathing and Taichi's and the Digimons' own light breaths.  
  
...But at least they're safe --  
  
Taichi's eyes are about to drift shut again when Koushiro gasps out.  
  
The other is still semi-delirious, but he seems to be agitated, his mouth forming half-words again --  
  
"Ta-- ch -- san--"   
  
"Ta-- ichi -- san...--"  
  
Taichi freezes. Blinks.  
  
Blinks again.  
  
The cold air around them seems to lift a bit.  
  
"H-Hey--"  
  
He moves closer to Koushiro's side.  
  
"Koushiro, it's ok -- I'm here--"  
  
Why was Koushiro calling out for him--?  
  
Koushiro groans a bit as he jolts slightly, but then he seems to settle finally, again opening his eyes into a squint and sleepily searching out for Taichi.  
  
"Ta...ichi-san..."  
  
He seems almost _confused at first_ , but then something like _a slight relief_ washes over his face, and Koushiro gives a shaky almost-smile.  
  
"You-- _you're_ \-- _here_ \--"  
  
Taichi's heart clenches.  
  
Koushiro breathes out.  
  
" _Stay_ \--?"  
  
Taichi blinks.  
  
Koushiro's asking him to -- _stay_ \--?  
  
( _With him?_ )  
  
"Y-Yeah," Taichi whispers, "I'm here -- I'll... stay?"  
  
Koushiro inclines his head just slightly, almost _shifting_  himself a bit towards Taichi.  
  
He falls back asleep, and Taichi continues to watch his best friend.  
  
*  
  
Some time passes, but Taichi manages to somehow stay awake.  
  
Koushiro finally opens his eyes properly a bit later on, blinking hard.  
  
"...Taichi-san..." His voice was hoarse, but at least Koushiro was able to form some proper words now.  
  
"Hey," Taichi greets him -- tries to do so with a slight smile.  
  
"Are you back?" Taichi asks, softly.  
  
"Think... so..." Koushiro swallows a bit, blinks, and seems to stare around them.  
  
"I don't know how, but we wound up here..."  
  
Koushiro stays quiet, but Taichi helps him sit up.  
  
"Thought... was -- cold."  
  
Koushiro coughs a bit around his words.  
  
"Caves..."  
  
"Yeah, it was kind of cold..." Taichi guesses, and Koushiro gazes at him, then nods.  
  
"Taichi-...san. ... Thank... you."  
  
Koushiro's _thanking him_. _Again_.  
  
"...I didn't do anything," Taichi protests weakly.  
  
Koushiro shakes his head.  
  
" _Did_ ," he counters back, sighing as he leans back a bit. " _Helped_..."  
  
"..."  
  
Taichi wasn't sure how to respond to that -- _he_ was the one who caused Koushiro pain, after all --  
  
\-- He tries to let the argument drop.  
  
Koushiro's too tired for him to be arguing right now.  
  
"...Need to find... others."  
  
"Hey, you should probably rest--"  
  
Koushiro shakes his head.  
  
"No. We should..." he tries to sit up again. Winces.  
  
"You think you should be doing that--?"  
  
Koushiro semi-glowers at him.  
  
"Ok, ok--" Taichi moves to get up. "So, um..."  
  
Koushiro frowns hard at him.  
  
...Ok, he's getting the idea.  
  
With a sigh, Taichi moves forward.  
  
"...Just be careful to not move too hard, ok--?"  
  
Koushiro nods.  
  
He somehow hoists Koushiro up onto his back, once again.  
  
"We... --should go."  
  
Koushiro rasps it out, but Taichi understands he means it.  
  
"...Ok."  
  
Koushiro feels warm against his back.  
  
Suddenly, the caves around them vanish.  
  
They're back in the underground.  
  
*  
  
Mugendramon was defeated.  
  
They finally get to rest.  
  
...For a bit.  
  
*  
  
Koushiro's legs were much better bandaged, now.  
  
He had cried out and screamed during it (and Taichi grasped at his hand as much as he could, trying to help comfort him) --

But still, at least now, they had tried to make sure most of the glass shards had been removed, anyway.  
  
They give him some time, so he can recover a bit more, at least.  
  
*  
  
They somehow made it into a habit -- him carrying the recovering Koushiro on his back, exchanging soft whispers while the rest of the group would lead them on (after some input from Taichi).  
  
Koushiro's able to say more now again, at least, enough for half-conversations.  
  
Most of the time, though, he's obviously tired. But at least, he's recovering... somewhat.  
  
Still, they're moving again, at least, and that's better than nothing.  
  
If anything, Koushiro seems almost... _happy_?  
  
Taichi wonders why. The metal city had been one of their most awful experiences thus far.  
  
But Koushiro's eyes would somehow be bright as he watched his friends, a softness to his gaze and a smile tugging at his lips.  
  
Why was Koushiro so happy?  
  
He doesn't ask, but Koushiro's soft happiness continues as they push forward, trying their best.  
  
Forward...  
  
Taichi feels Koushiro smile against his back, grasping Taichi's shirt collar just slightly.  
  
It's just so he won't fall, right--?  
  
Koushiro _hums_ lightly, just barely audible -- only Taichi hears --  
  
\-- Almost seems to _nuzzle_ a bit against Taichi's back.  
  
Taichi's heartbeat quickens a bit.  
  
He hopes Koushiro won't notice.  
  
*  
  
It happens again when the womanly Digimon are battling.  
  
You'd think the fight would be _distracting_ \-- and at first, it kind of was --  
  
\-- But Taichi's not bothering to watch that, anymore. Not completely, anyway.  
  
It was still important to see who the victor was, but --  
  
\-- Instead, he's trying to not blush _furiously_ as Koushiro laughs gently against his neck, from where Taichi's still holding him from behind.  
  
(In Koushiro's defense, you couldn't help but laugh seeing Hikari before them right now.)  
  
Still, though, it almost feels like Koushiro's not laughing just because of Hikari.  
  
*  
  
He can't help but shake his head slightly in his own amusement, leaning against Taichi's neck further -- feeling the warm skin of Taichi's neck under his cheek, as his gentle laughter becomes a soft sigh.  
  
( _"To think that **back then** , I was so intently focused  **on that**..."_ )  
  
*  
  
Somehow, it seemed like maybe, just _maybe_...  
  
_Even with Koushiro's condition like this, everything would maybe turn out ok_...  
  
... He knew it was too good to be true.  
  
*  
  
Piemon appears.  
  
There's no more time for laughing anymore.  
  
*  
  
"Taichi-san--"  
  
" _Why won't you let me fight_ \--?!"  
  
He knows why, because of his _stupid_ injuries, _his stupid cut up legs_ , ( _ **god** , **for once** things were **actually going his way** , **going right** , or **right enough that he had more time** , and then he just **had to go and screw everything up again** , and this time **he got seriously injured on top of it** , and **he was holding everyone back** , and **he was probably going to fail again** when **it** had been **going semi-better at the least** and **there was probably nothing he could do** and--_ ) but he's _desperate_ , **_please_** , _Taichi-san_ , **_please let him_** \--  
  
_**He can't fail again** \-- not now, not when **the time** was being **extended** , not when it was suddenly **going better** \--_  
  
" _No_!! Koushiro, _you need to stay back_ \--!!"  
  
" _TAICHI-SAN_ \--!!"  
  
*  
  
This isn't how it goes.  
  
He was still failing.  
  
*  
  
_His legs are burning_.  
  
*  
  
**R E P E A T?_**

 **Y/N?_**  
  
**_Y**  
  
*  
  
This time, particularly --  
  
_He feels like he's on fire_.  
  
*  
  
The world breaks apart.  
  
*  
  
Koushiro woke up sobbing against Taichi's skin.  
  
"They _weren't_ just from the accident, Taichi-san, they _weren't_ just from the accident--"  
  
" _But I still remember the accident, too_ \--"  
  
Taichi draws him close to his chest and struggles to not cry, himself.  
  
"I was _trapped in the car_ , and -- _my par_ \-- and _my legs were burning_ and there was glass  _everywhere_  and even the actual fire nearby, too--"  
  
"But there -- _he_ had _the same_ \-- _from the city_ \-- and the other you helped heal him, but it wasn't enough--"  
  
" _It was almost enough_ , he thought... _maybe it was over, maybe they were finally making it, for once, he was so happy_ \--"  
  
"And then _even more enemies appeared_ and _things were still going horribly wrong_ and _he failed again_ \--"  
  
"Just... _Taichi-san_ , _why_ \--"  
  
Taichi can't answer " _why_ ".  
  
"I don't know," he whispers.

*  
  
( _...But, if the time was being extended -- if it really was -- that..._ )  
  
( _Maybe... maybe that was a good thing?_ )

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I SAID I WAS SORRY  
> \- ok but seriously TAICHI IS GOOD TAICHI IS SO GOOD SO SO GOOD  
> \- ok so this ending bit I kind of wrote two similar versions of, hence the last chapters'  
> \- they kind of work though??  
> \- the whole first part before that ending bit is actually one of the first parts of this that I wrote ..... aside from just a few others ...  
> \- anyhow  
> \- all that and  
> \- ... caves  
> \- (ok but can the caves appear where a building is/was?? underground?? who knows maybe they can they're dark caves after all)  
> \- (who knows too at the rate they're going)  
> \- (maybe they were giving them shelter but. maybe don't close your eyes in those caves)  
> \- note how because of this course of action (and similar) they maybe don't have "the secret" reveal about Hikari ??  
> \- just. an interesting thing. though I didn't actually plan that bit that way (it... does it itself...)  
> \- say if Koushiro had actually gotten more seriously hurt during that and Taichi diverted his attention. probably too distracted for "the secret"  
> \- speaking of which Koushiro it'd probably hurt less / take less effort speaking if you'd just drop the -san -- (Koushiro: "No")  
> \- I genuinely am sorry  
> \- meanwhile I'M NERVOUS ABOUT TRI ENDING AHHHHHHH /updates in advance


	12. 12 (Fall)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I'M SO SORRY  
> \- chapter warning: psuedo-death  
> \- warning: falling from very high places  
> \- warning: sacrificial thoughts ??

(" _Is this only happening to just m e?_ ")  
  
( _He had thought it, once before--_ )  
  
Koushiro is falling.  
  
Falling, falling, like a dead weight, but also somehow  _weightless_  --  
  
He's plunging straight downwards, but he's facing up to the sky --  
  
His arms are reached out above him, his legs splayed, as if he had fallen without meaning to --  
  
( _Or had he_ \--)  
  
Taichi-san, _his best friend_ , is _screaming_ his name in the distance, crying,  _sobbing_  --  
  
Reaching out for him, but he's so far away --  
  
Koushiro's fingers twitch as if to reach back, but he's falling --  
  
(' _Taichi-san, **Taichi-san** , it's ok, **please don't cry** \--_')  
  
(' _Not for my sake, **please** \--'_)  
  
(' _You have to -- **you have to** \--'_)  
  
(' _To save the worlds, in the end, **the leader is most important** \--'_)  
  
(' _ **LIVE** \--_')  
  
Koushiro isn't bothering to hold back his tears anymore.  
  
He knows, he knows,  _knows_ , it's " _pointless_ " -- so pointless --  
  
They had _tried to escape_ , Taichi trying to pull him along to avoid **certain death** _elsewhere_ , but --  
  
**_They'll never be able to escape this_**  --  
  
If they go into the  _streets_ , it'll be --  _vehicles_.  
  
(Or perhaps falling things, from above, burying him--)  
  
(Explosions, rubble from their battles with the enemy Digimon--)  
  
If they go onto any bridge,  _any high place_ , he  _falls_ ,  _slips_  --  
  
( _Or did he really slip--?_ )  
  
If they  _somehow figure it out_ , _something else will inevitably occur_ \--  
  
( _A warped dimension, warped, like time itself, lost curiosity, lost mind, lost heart--_ )  
  
...How much did Taichi-san know?  
  
Koushiro was never certain, but Taichi-san --  
  
Taichi-san, in the distance, looks _so **desperate**_ \--  
  
_Koushiro doesn't know when it began to change_.  
  
When _Taichi-san began trying to save him_.  
  
All he knows is --  
  
_All he knows_ \--  
  
_The ground is rushing up below him_ \--  
  
_Koushiro smiles through his tears, knowing --_  
  
**_Knowing_ ** \--  
  
(" _It doesn't matter!_ ")  
  
(" _BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE LIKE THAT!!_ ")  
  
*  
  
(' _It’s the same for me_ _,_ ')  
  
(' _Taichi-san,_ ')  
  
*  
  
**R E P E A T?_  
  
_Y  
  
E  
  
S**  
  
*  
  
The world breaks apart.  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I... I REALLY AM SORRY  
> \- ok but this one kills me personally just NO  
> \- this part is very KageDaze inspired but at the same time  
> \- Adventure [01] Taichi not letting Koushiro fight ...  
> \- ...if you check the very end of the fic outline post you may notice I added a little bit in there re: this  
> \- basically if you compare to my older Kagepro amv version (the anime version) (note the warnings though)  
> \- ... yeah  
> \- I'M SORRY IT AND ALL THIS OVERALL GIVES ME WAY TOO MANY FEELINGS  
> \- ...when first writing this the Koushiro-esque (+Izzy-esque?...) word that came to mind for the end phrase was:  
> \- "Likewise,"  
> \- ... but I thought in anime (subs) I often see a common similar phrasing ? go like/be translated as "it's the same for me"  
> \- hence that  
> \- there may still be a similar feeling  
> \- I'm so sorry  
> \- TRI FINALE IS OUT AHHHHHHHH (nervously... eventually goes to watch .....)


	13. 13 (Light)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- chapter warning: injury [treatment] (again but not as intense this time), psuedo-deaths, HOMEOSTASIS? ??? ?????  
> \- I'm sorry

Koushiro stands awkwardly at the door of the Yagami household -- Taichi's home --  
  
\-- _holding his arm_ , where his shirt sleeve has been _cut through_ ,  
  
Revealing a growing -- _injury_ \-- beneath,  
  
 _Dark blues and purples, a slow drip of blood_ \--  
  
Taichi stares in shock at the state of Koushiro before him --  
  
\-- _Immediately_ gets Koushiro inside and to the safety of his darkened bedroom.  
  
"Koushiro,  _what happened_ -" Taichi stammers --  
  
( _He wasn't paying close enough attention, **Koushiro was injured, he wasn't paying close enough attenti**_ \--)  
  
Koushiro's soft, slightly shaky voice responds.  
  
"I was following that signal the Digivice showed, when..."  
  
Taichi stares with a serious gaze, watching his best friend --  
  
"Raremon appeared, but we finished him -- but then... PicoDevimon--"  
  
Taichi sucks in a gasp, then --  
  
" _You got attacked by PicoDevimon?!_ \--"  
  
He remembers -- PicoDevimon's attacks involved  _darts_ , didn't it --  
  
 ** _Poison_** \--!? _Or_ \--

( _Maybe, a draining of the blood_ \--)  
  
His hands twitch --  
  
He immediately reaches out to grab at Koushiro's good shoulder --  
  
"Koushiro,  _why_ \--"  
  
...But he doesn't know how to ask, next --  
  
 _"Why didn't you call me?!"_  Koushiro  _had_  called him, but  _the idiot Taichi had been_  --  
  
 _"Why didn't you wait for me?!"_  Koushiro would have never defeated Raremon in time if he had --  
  
Waited --  
  
Koushiro ... looks guilty.  
  
Taichi hates himself.  
  
"...I'm sorry..." Koushiro's whispering.  
  
( _"I'm sorry, Taichi-san--"_ )  
  
Taichi squeezes back sudden incoming, strong tears --  
  
\-- He steps backwards a bit, then _flies_ to try to find his parents' first aid kit.  
  
 _He knows it's pointless -- so pointless --  
  
This won't stop the spread of a Digimon's attack at all--_  
  
(Then again, back in the Digital World, when it was Piyomon, she had...)  
  
( _What if..._ )  
  
" _Where is it_ , where  ** _is_**  it--"  
  
His eyes light up for a second when he spots it, snatching it -- rushing back --  
  
Koushiro's eyes are slightly wide when he returns, but  _as if sensing Taichi's wishes_  --  
  
His gaze softens.  
  
Koushiro slowly nods his head.  
  
Taichi gets the first aid kit open, and together, softly, Koushiro instructs him on how to wrap his arm.  
  
Taichi does so with shaking hands, but -- he does it --  
  
Fortunately the cut wasn't so deep it couldn't be wrapped --  _but_  --  
  
\--  _What would they do about the spread of **that**  in a human?!_...  
  
Suddenly, the next thing they know --  
  
\-- _Hikari is there_.  
  
 _Gaze squarely on Koushiro_.  
  
 _Taichi feels her presence, but doesn't quite turn yet_ \--  
  
While _Koushiro_ seems _surprised, a bit_ \--  
  
"...Onii-chan--" She starts, addressing Taichi, but then --  
  
...  
  
"You're _the boy from the computer screen_."  
  
She directly addresses Koushiro with  _ **that**_.  
  
Taichi realizes -- _Hikari hadn't been properly introduced to Koushiro just yet_ \--  
  
He had _maybe_ mentioned Koushiro from the football group, but --  
  
Koushiro hesitantly bows his head in greeting -- just slightly, trying to not jolt his injured arm too much.  
  
"...Please excuse me. 'Izumi Koushiro'. ... I know Taichi-san from school."  
  
Koushiro seems to not know what or how much to say next -- hesitant.  
  
Taichi's looking at the scene before him, taking in both Koushiro and Hikari --  
  
( _Why is Taichi tensing up--_ )  
  
Hikari nods back, slightly --  
  
"'Yagami Hikari'. ... But, you can just call me 'Hikari'."  
  
"'Onii-chan' is my onii-chan."  
  
...  
  
"...'Hikari-san', it is nice to meet you."  
  
"But, I'm sorry it is like..." (" _...?_ ")  
  
Hikari gazes at his arm's injury.  
  
"...Was it the Digimon?"  
  
Koushiro  _jumps_  --  
  
\-- Winces, holding at his arm,  
  
Turns a frantic and wide-eyed gaze towards Taichi --  
  
Taichi meets his eyes in return.  
  
 _"She knows. She **did**  know--"_  
  
Taichi tries to communicate it with his own eyes --  
  
Koushiro seems to understand, surprise fading? -- as he lowers his head slightly.  
  
(Koromon was still in the other room -- Taichi had let him sleep, and  _Motimon_  had been asleep, too--)  
  
( _Worn out from the battle with Raremon_ \-- half-asleep, clutching Koushiro's back--)  
  
Suddenly, Hikari has swiftly moved past Taichi --  
  
Without him even noticing --  
  
As if almost  _teleporting_  --  
  
She's looking up into Koushiro's once again surprised eyes.  
  
 _...She touches Koushiro's injured arm._  
  
Koushiro ...  
  
... Feels an odd --  _warmth_? --  _spreading_  --  
  
\--  _All throughout the injury_  --  
  
 _His arm_  --

 _His legs --_  
  
 _His body_  --  
  
Hikari has her tiny smile on her face, the same as she did when Taichi had come home,  _before_.  
  
Taichi doesn't realize he's clenching his fist --  
  
"It was very nice to meet you."  
  
Hikari's suddenly at the door again --  
  
Faster than Taichi can blink --  
  
( _Faster than either of them could blink_ ) --  
  
" _Good luck_."  
  
Hikari swiftly leaves the room.  
  
Koushiro's head is lowered slightly... again.  
  
... Taichi's fist is still clenched.  
  
*  
  
(" **I don't need your luck.** ")  
  
*  
  
(" _It's not a matter of luck!_ ")  
  
(" _ **Taichi-san is my--**_ ")  
  
*  
  
(" _ **I don't need your luck.**_ ")  
  
*  
  
 **Homeostasis smiles**.  
  
*  
  
 _Homeostasis doesn't know --  
  
\-- **Taichi understands**.  
  
 **Knows**._  
  
*  
  
( ** _Or does she_?** )  
  
*  
  
Koushiro lifts his lowered head --  
  
( ** _Or does he_?** )  
  
*  
  
 _Koushiro swiftly moves_  --  
  
His gaze hidden  
  
but  
  
 _his mouth set into a firm, hard line_ \--  
  
*  
  
 _ **Places himself square in between**  
  
 **the enemy's attack**  
  
 **and**  
  
 **Taichi** \--_  
  
*  
  
 _Taichi cries out_  --  
  
 _Desperately calling for_  --  
  
 _His_  
  
 _ **The one he** \-- ???_  
  
*  
  
Taichi's eyes widen in shock.  
  
 _Horror--_  
  
 _Piemon is laughing, **manically** , **gleefully** ,_  
  
( _Or is Piemon laughing in **surprise** , too?--_)  
  
( _"To think! **This** is how the Children fall!"_ )  
  
( _"Not even according to my plan -- how **easy**!"_ )  
  
 _Before him,_

 _ **Koushiro's lifeless body** \--_  
  
*  
  
 _Taichi can't even see Koushiro's expression --_  
  
*  
  
Taichi feels like --  
  
Like --  
  
*  
  
 _Like he's being ripped apart from the inside._  
  
*  
  
 _ **Like a dark fire is consuming him**._  
  
*  
  
 **R E P E A T?_ Y/N?** **  
  
_**  
  
-  
  
-  
  
*  
  
 **Homeostasis smiles.  
  
Did you know?  
  
Of course.  
  
This is all pointless.  
  
You will die  
  
Someday.  
  
This world will cease to exist  
  
Someday.  
  
This universe will be gone  
  
Someday.  
  
Knowledge**

 **is power  
  
but it can also  
  
Destroy  
  
Did you know?  
  
Knowledgeable one.**  
  
"Of course."  
  
 **Did you find the 'answers'  
  
you were looking for?**  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Perhaps,  
  
I was never Knowledgeable  
  
at all."  
  
 **Maybe this is a  
  
dream.  
  
An endless  
  
dream  
  
in a world of  
  
... nothingness  
  
but  
  
some of those  
  
strange ones  
  
fight  
  
with all they have  
  
even when they're  
  
losing  
  
have  
  
lost  
  
it's almost  
  
fun**  
  
*  
  
 **Prove me wrong.  
  
Child of  
  
Courage  
  
Child of  
  
Knowledge.**  
  
*  
  
 **R E P E A T?_ Y/N?_**

**_**

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I'M SORRY  
> \- ok but seriously I WAS ... REALLY EXCITED WRITING THIS  
> \- that said it's shaky because all of these are like ... half formed ideas and Homeostasis being Homeostasis yeah  
> \- who knows if any of these events actually happen in any order  
> \- who knows if Homeostasis is involved or not WHO EVEN KNOWS  
> \- maybe in one timeline it happens like this. Maybe in others it doesn't  
> \- but yeah. So in the Japanese version there was also a scene cut from the dub, during the Raremon episode, Koushiro nearly gets attacked with PicoDevimon's [DemiDevimon's] darts but moved just in time. Thing is, this wouldn't affect the legs so ... thought of leaving it out previously...  
> \- (ok but another thing. the first silly old old fic young me ever wrote?? had TAI[CHI] getting hit with the darts/poison. YEAH. wow silly nostalgia)  
> \- but then. but then got the iDEA. HOMEOSTASIS. VS. KOUSHIRO. POWERPLAYS.  
> \- ok so also Koushiro's name can have meanings containing words like 'Light' and 'Child' [Koushiro] and 'Spring' [Izumi]  
> \- 'LIGHT CHILD'. [of the] 'SPRING' etc. or similar variations like 'Child of Light of the Spring' etc. etc.  
> \- even if it's overall more like 'Photon Son', still, you know ?? 'LIGHT CHILD' 'CHILD OF LIGHT'  
> \- 'KNOWLEDGE'. HOMEOSTASIS. KNOWS ? EVERYTHING ??  
> \- and then. When you really think about it. Back in Ep21. If it was Hikari's first time seeing Koushiro ON THE COMPUTER SCREEN. IF HOMEOSTASIS WAS POSSESSING HER THEN. HOMEOSTASIS. COULD. SEE. KOUSHIRO ?? WHO WAS TRAPPED IN THE OTHER DIMENSION ?? AND GETTING HIS CREST [OF KNOWLEDGE] SOON AFTER ?? WHILE HIKARI HERSELF WAS BEING CRYPTIC WITH TAICHI THAT SAME EP ?? (I know why technically but still) HOMEOSTASIS KNEW/KNOWS THOUGH IT HAS TO KNOW  
> \- apply that to this timeloop AU and bam  
> \- KOUSHIRO VS HOMEOSTASIS POWERPLAYS  
> \- ok but what if you throw TAICHI into the equation (who was ALREADY kinda being ... thrown in anyway ..... regardless of any Homeostasis ....... )  
> \- dun dun dunnnn (I'M SORRY)  
> \- also references everywhere (can you catch them? I'm sure)  
> \- (ALSO I KEEP TYPO-ING 'HOMEOSTASIS' AS 'HOMEOSTATIS' WHY I DON'T NORMALLY DO THIS Homeostasis why)


	14. 14 (Crossing)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter warning: psuedo-death ?? by ??? (see title)  
> (not... completely though)  
> (I'M SORRY)

They're walking home together. Him and Koushiro.  
  
Quietly.  
  
...Not talking.  
  
(' _The atmosphere around them has been too..._ ')  
  
Taichi sighs a bit to himself.  
  
_He wants to talk, but...  
  
He doesn't know what to say...  
  
What should he say...?_  
  
( _In the end, isn't he just **pushing away** \--_)  
  
...They pause.  
  
At the ( _deathly quiet_ ) street crossing.  
  
Orange light from the sunset ( _like his Crest_ ) washing over everything.  
  
Waiting.  
  
...Taichi takes a small breath.  
  
"...Hey, Koushiro."  
  
Koushiro doesn't turn to face him.  
  
Still as he can be.  
  
"...It's ok, you know?"  
  
"...If you want to."  
  
"...Stop doing this."  
  
Koushiro remains still.  
  
Taichi's heart thumps. Once, twice.  
  
"...'This'?"  
  
Koushiro's voice is soft.  
  
Phrasing it as a question, but --  
  
Taichi nods.  
  
Koushiro is quiet.  
  
"...The Digimon?"  
  
...Koushiro's playing dumb.  
  
( _The Digimon themselves aren't even with them, right now. Instead, they're safely at home--_ )  
  
( _It's ok if they were just going to the park, right--_ )  
  
Taichi sighs. Shakes his head.  
  
" _No_...t just that.  _This_ \--"  
  
Spreads his arms out around him.  
  
As if taking in the view of the quiet street before them.  
  
"...It's okay. If... you want to stop."  
  
Taichi tries to keep his voice from cracking.  
  
Keeps it monotone instead.  
  
"...No one will blame you."  
  
Koushiro blinks a few times --  
  
\-- Gives a quiet, soft laugh.  
  
"I'm not so sure about that, Taichi-san."  
  
( _Jou-san... might not blame him. Perhaps, though, he'd be upset... Takeru-kun, too... and Hikari-san [and not...]_ )  
  
( _Mimi-san -- he's not sure-- surely she'd cry? And, maybe, she'd also yell out her feelings on the matter--_ )  
  
( _But, Yamato-san -- Sora-san--_ )  
  
(...His heart pangs at the thought.)  
  
"...I won't blame you."  
  
They're quiet.  
  
The street sign still hasn't yet changed.  
  
"...After all--"  
  
"If I hadn't--"  
  
(' _Invited you to the summer camp, anyway--_ ')  
  
He trails off.  
  
...After a few more long moments of silence --  
  
\-- finally, meets Koushiro's gaze.  
  
Koushiro has a particular look on his face, as if he's thinking --  
  
(' _You're an idiot, Taichi-san._ ')  
  
...Taichi laughs lowly. To himself.  
  
(' _...Yeah._ ')  
  
...Koushiro lowers his head.  
  
Doesn't look at Taichi.  
  
Is still as he can be.  
  
(' _But, I--_ ') ( _Koushiro thinks._ )  
  
Taichi inhales.  
  
_Begins to take a step._  
  
**_The street light changes._**  
  
\-- ...As if on cue...  
  
**_Barrelling towards him, out of control--_**  
  
He takes another step.  
  
_As if in slow motion --_  
  
_Another_  --  
  
_Another_  --  
  
...He looks back at Koushiro.  
  
Blinks a bit.  
  
( _Taichi's eyes are dry_ )  
  
...Gives a faint smile.  
  
_His hair_ is blowing slightly in the --  _motion_.  
  
Dark orange sunlight is bouncing off his -- **goggles**.  
  
...He can almost feel the light shadow ( _of the sun_ ) that's suddenly settled -- onto his face.  
  
A shadow that can only become darker ( _if a larger shadow overtakes it_ ) --  
  
...  
  
...Koushiro raises his head.  
  
*  
  
Taichi doesn't feel the impact.  
  
*  
  
**R E P E A T?_  
  
Y/N?_  
  
_YES**  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- ok so if you compare to my older Kagepro amv you may notice a scene where the girl turns around in front of the boy as if she's about to say something - just before a death involving uh. falling poles  
> \- yeah  
> \- do not imagine that expression with Taichi and cry  
> \- (I don't think those are the falling poles here though)  
> \- (maybe it's the truck / vehicle) (.... sorry Taichi)  
> \- (I also added it into the very end of the fic outline post here: http://izzyizumi.tumblr.com/post/172990799460/)  
> \- (this is again not to say Taichi is the girl from there) (tbh I'm not even sure which one is which anymore)  
> \- (they're not exactly parodying those two anyway... anyhow)  
> \- (but still WHY are timeloops so confusing)  
> \- (I'M SORRY KOUSHIRO) (TOO)  
> \- (there's a few other references here if you can catch them, too)  
> \- we are heading towards an ending but it will have three-four (five?? six??) more 'batches' of updates most likely  
> \- after that.... there MAY be things after but we'll see....  
> \- (ALSO KOUSHIRO WAS SO GOOD IN THE FINAL TRI MOVIE SO GOOD)  
> \- (also edits a few things er) (phrasing yeah)


	15. 15 (Morning)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- chapter warning: ... just sliiiightly nsfw (no action though) (kind of)

...He wakes up.  
  
Sunlight is pouring into the room from the small window --  
  
\-- he finds himself facing Koushiro.  
  
Koushiro's awake.  
  
He's just lying there, as if he was  _watching Taichi_  --  
  
Black eyes large and watery, tear tracks having long dripped down his face --  
  
Taichi's heart  _clenches_.  
  
"... _C'mere_ ," he whispers.  
  
Koushiro closes his eyes.  
  
 _Doesn't seem to hesitate_  --  
  
\--  _Moves directly into Taichi's warm embrace._  
  
...They stay that way, until the tear tracks have vanished more completely.  
  
...Koushiro's breathing is even.  
  
Suddenly --  
  
He seems to bury his face against Taichi's shoulder.  
  
Hand clenching against Taichi, as if... nervous? Embarrassed? ( _Determined--_?)  
  
Taichi is careful, making sure Koushiro's  _really_  ok now, before he says anything else, but --  
  
\-- He can feel the warmth of Koushiro's blush spreading against Koushiro's face beneath.  
  
He can't help but smile.  
  
"...Hey," Taichi whispers.  
  
Shifts onto his back carefully --  
  
\-- Koushiro shifts naturally,  _moving on top of him_.  
  
Face still buried.  
  
"...That's  _really cute_ , you know?"  
  
He breathes it near Koushiro's ear.  
  
Koushiro seems to blush harder, keeping his position (almost as if he's  _clenching onto Taichi_ ) --  
  
\-- Taichi can't help but laugh softly.  
  
( _Koushiro knows what Taichi meant_.)  
  
The mood seems lighter, now.  
  
"Come on,"  
  
"...I'll make you omurice this time!"  
  
*  
  
( _Koushiro'll gladly accept it._ )  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- i'm sorry Koushiro ;; ;;  
> \- TAICHI IS SO GOOD THOUGH YOU GUYS


	16. 16 (Paralysis)

Koushiro wasn't expecting it to happen here.  
  
( _...But he really should have._ )  
  
He had been animatedly talking to some colleagues he had ran into in the hotel lobby - talking about their next dig (Taichi was lingering awkwardly in the distance) - when --  
  
Suddenly, he was on his knees, haphazardly --  
  
The bag of items he was holding (including his old Pibook) hitting the floor, spilling everywhere --  
  
One leg splayed out awkwardly --  
  
He was frozen --  
  
He couldn't move --  
  
He couldn't move his legs --  
  
" _Koushiro_ \--!!"  
  
\-- Taichi-san is there, suddenly --  
  
Grabbing him around the waist --  
  
Holding him up --  
  
\-- so he wouldn't fall.  
  
(He probably would have hit the floor _hard_ if he had.)  
  
"Koushiro...!!" Taichi is exclaiming again, trying to snap him out of it.  
  
He blinks rapidly, feeling Taichi's arms around him --  
  
Eyes coming back into focus, instead of being widened, shaking --  
  
"T...Taichi-san...?"  
  
His colleagues are concerningly asking if he was all right.  
  
Taichi hastily introduces himself as a friend as he tries to nudge Koushiro again --  
  
Koushiro slowly turns, as if just realizing Taichi was there.  
  
Blinks a bit again.  _Realizes_  --  
  
" _Oh no, I'm so sorry_ \--"  
  
Hastily apologizes, trying to stand -- but he's having trouble - _moving_ , still --  
  
"Hey, Koushiro, take it slow..."  
  
Taichi is gentle, patient, but he holds out a hand, too --  
  
\-- Koushiro takes it.  
  
Taichi is slowly able to pull him up, Koushiro's legs wobbly, unsteady.  
  
"I-I'm very sorry--"  
  
He bows in apology to his colleagues, who insist they're just glad he's ok, but he feels terrible --  
  
Taichi sits him down in a chair nearby, then gathers up his things for him, also bowing awkwardly to Koushiro's colleagues.  
  
The next thing he knows, Koushiro's back in the hotel room --  
  
"Koushiro, are you ok--?!"  
  
Taichi shows his concern more clearly, now.  
  
Koushiro blinks a bit again -- harder --  
  
"I... Taichi-san... I'm--"  
  
"I'm sorry... my legs, they just... _gave out_ \--"  
  
Taichi stares with worried eyes, as Koushiro looks down at his legs.  
  
"...Has this happened before?"  
  
Taichi asks.  
  
"... _It did_ happen before, _sometimes_ , but--"  
  
" _I kept thinking, maybe it wasn't anything to -- worry about..._ "  
  
... _His legs still feel frozen_.  
  
Koushiro blinks a few more times --  
  
"It's like a ... _paralysis_. _Temporary paralysis_ \-- left over from... that accident."  
  
"Back then, I had _recovered_ \-- _enough, somewhat_ \--"  
  
" _But... it happened again..._ "  
  
He lets out a shaky breath.  
  
"I really must apologize to my colleagues properly later..."  
  
" _Koushiro_..." Taichi breathes, unsure of what to say.  
  
...In the end, they remain like that --  
  
Until he can move again --  
  
Taichi staying there, watching over him.  
  
*  
  
_...And, once he can move, again_  --  
  
Taichi's hands are on his shoulders.  
  
Taichi is staring intently into his eyes --  
  
" _You don't have to apologize._ "  
  
( _For this_.)  
  
( _For your condition_ )  
  
Koushiro gives a long gaze --  
  
\-- Slowly nods.  
  
( _Understanding_.)  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- TAICHI IS... SO GOOD....  
> \- ... (in another verse the last bit after the final star linebreak might not happen)  
> \- (is it really happening? I don't know anymore but it seems like it)


	17. 17 (Well)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter summary: FINALLY some of the archaeology  
> ... and er. another important topic too. (re: adoption... and the other side of Koushiro's work there too....)

Taichi stared in absolute awe at the scene before him.  
  
Koushiro, standing out in the sun, bright sunlight washing over his red hair --  
  
_Smiling in such a content way_  --  
  
Koushiro soon kneeling, on hands and knees, shifting carefully into position ( _so he can work properly, too, but also so he won't cause unnecessary stress on his legs_...) -- onto the soft ground of the dig site before him, tools quickly in hand. ( _Swiftly, professionally._ )  
  
( _He's wearing semi-casual clothing, for once, but still has pants covering his scarred legs_ \--)  
  
( _Taichi thinks he'd look even more beautiful right now if he showed them_ \--)  
  
Koushiro has this -- strange  _elegance_  about him, as he moves, works, carefully using his tools -- his  _gloved_  hands -- to excavate --  
  
Black eyes now dark and serious, he frowns in concentration at the spots he's observing before him.  
  
As if he  _noticed_  something suddenly, zeroing in, Koushiro carefully continues to remove layers of earthy soil, more and more.  
  
After barely a few minutes --  
  
" _A-ha!_ " Koushiro removes more layers, and slowly but surely, the prize he found is revealed --  
  
Something solid, but with rough edges -- made from a certain combination of composites --  
  
Koushiro's pure black eyes are lighting up in not only the sun, but with a  _sparkle of excitement_  to them, his beaming smile overtaking his face.  
  
_Taichi sucks in a breath._  
  
"I  _knew_  it would be there."  
  
Koushiro moves to excitedly show his colleagues nearby --  
  
"Pieces of not only old clay, but old  _brick_ , brick which hasn't yet broken back down into its original form. If you look closely, you can almost see  _a series of lines_  on it, indents, a  _pattern_ , as if they were  _connected_  -- there could be something  _special_  made of this brick below us, a structure. In fact, the patterns depicted on this brick almost look like  _symbols_ \--  _a code_  -- if you fit them together, like so--"  
  
Koushiro's whole being seems to be  _glowing_ , as he chatters in excitement.  
  
_Taichi can't stop staring at him._  
  
It was like he suddenly was becoming hyper-aware of every little detail about Koushiro he hadn't noticed  _before_.  
  
Suddenly, Koushiro has departed from his colleagues' side --  
  
\-- is looking up through thick black eyelashes into Taichi's surprised eyes.  
  
That smile still on his face.  
  
"...Would you like to join me, Taichi-san?"  
  
"U-Um,  _sure_ \--"  
  
He lets Koushiro lead him to the area of the site he had been working on.  
  
"You'll need a trowel, of course -- it's like a shovel, but smaller -- and this, and..."  
  
Koushiro rambles off the list of tools needed while Taichi nods, trying to follow along -- it does seem simple enough...  
  
Suddenly, Koushiro is standing behind him,  _watching_  -- with a small grin -- and it's next Taichi who is on his knees, leaning down to dig into the dirt below.  
  
Taichi frowns at the soft ground before him.  
  
Furrows his eyebrows --  
  
( _He can feel Koushiro watching him -- he shouldn't screw this up, right?--_ )  
  
Concentrates --  
  
Begins copying what Koushiro was doing, minutes earlier.  
  
...After a few minutes, he realizes, Koushiro made it look  _so easy_.  
  
Taichi uses fumbling hands to remove layer after layer, depositing the extra dirt where appropriate, squinting hard, trying to see if he can find anything like what Koushiro just found underneath the layers of earth. But he wasn't finding anything, just yet --  
  
"...Keep going, Taichi-san!..."  
  
The hair on his neck raises a bit, and he tries to keep from blushing at Koushiro's encouragement.  
  
He can't see Koushiro's expression, but Koushiro definitely seems to be encouraging him, his voice raised in a hushed (but also loud) whisper, so as to not attract his colleagues, but there's a tone of  _excitement_  to Koushiro's voice --  
  
...Taichi sneaks a glance behind him.  
  
Koushiro is standing there,  _eyes alight, on him, fists clenched in his excitement, grinning in determination as he cheers Taichi on._  
  
Taichi quickly turns back around, trying to fight the huge grin threatening to overtake his own face.  
  
(' _Damn it stop being so damn CUTE--_ ') his mind is screaming in a similar loud whisper.  
  
( _It felt really nice to be encouraged like that..._ )  
  
( _Even that kind of look was one he hadn't yet seen on Koushiro's face, before._ )  
  
What other expressions of Koushiro's had Taichi not seen, yet...?  
  
He returns to the task at hand.  
  
Minutes crept into ten minutes. Thirteen minutes. Fifteen --  
  
Taichi was frowning, now. He... he wasn't finding any of what Koushiro had...  
  
Maybe it had been a fluke...?  
  
( _But, no, Koushiro had been looking so excited and determined, it had to be--_ )  
  
Taichi frowned a bit more as he worked, thought. Brushed away even more layers.  
  
...He wondered.  
  
To do _professional_ work like this -- even  _close_  to this -- how much effort would he  _really_  need to put in--?  
  
It wasn't that he wasn't enjoying this -- in a way, he was, really!! -- But, the amount of  _education_  required...  
  
He frowned harder as he thought harder about it.  
  
Maybe there was something  _else_  he could do ( _too?_ ) -- something _related_?  
  
_Something that would keep him close to Koushiro, so they could always be together?_  -- ... ...  
  
( _'Wait, WHAT--'_ )  
  
Taichi would have started if he didn't know Koushiro was still behind him, watching him.  
  
His face is burning from the strength of his blush.  
  
( _'...I want to stay near Koushiro......'_ )  
  
*  
  
When the other colleagues return from their break to work again, Taichi gets up, brushes what dirt he can off himself, and then returns to Koushiro's side.  
  
Koushiro has resumed digging himself, but something about him seems a bit more... subdued, now.  
  
He's staring intently at his work before him as he moves, but also -- staring a bit too intently --  
  
Moving a bit too automatically --  
  
"...After this, Taichi-san -- we'll be going to various places."  
  
Taichi watches him and listens carefully.  
  
Koushiro takes a deep breath -- and goes on.  
  
He tells Taichi all about the other side to his work.  
  
_Did Taichi-san notice? The area surrounding this dig site -- it's a poor area. Steeped in poverty.  
  
...These were outskirts, after all._  
  
(...Taichi did notice.)  
  
_Surely you know -- those children roaming the streets? Those orphans with no home?_  
  
"...Taichi-san--"  
  
Koushiro's face is darkened --  
  
Breathing hitched and hushed --  
  
_Taichi is frozen, unsure of what to do, to say--_

( _" **If my adoptive parents hadn't existed**... **been there, for me**..."_ )  
  
"... _It could have been me, like that._ "  
  
Koushiro goes on to explain -- as he continues to work.  
  
He explains and talks about the many various aspects, issues -- how the organizations he helps are more like non-profits (because the ones that  _do_ profit are... well... a bit too _disconcerting_ for him... it's good if they can pay their workers, but otherwise, it can sometimes get... well...) -- he volunteers, though, so he doesn't mind not being paid. In fact, he prefers it.  
  
He explains the said organizations tend to aim on things like -- providing education -- in all sorts of ways, to institutionalized orphans ( _even though he believes they shouldn't be institutionalized..._ ) to those who aren't, to prospective parents, to other students interested in helping and volunteering, to various related workers, to the public, to the  _government_  --  
  
How they do their best to connect those needing shelter to ethical organizations ( _and_ ethical local shelters) -- How they work to improve on and make adoption proceedures smoother and much faster -- also teaching all those involved in the adoption (for the prospective family) anything they'd need to know about their childs' -- _language, ethnic or cultural ties_ \--  
  
...And here's where Koushiro's face seems to grow darker -- more shadowed.  
  
...Koushiro explains.  
  
**_He loves his adoptive parents_**. He really does.  _He really, really does._  
  
But, ever since that night he first heard them... talking about it...  
  
_**Koushiro realized**_.  
  
...To be truthful, he had noticed certain things occuring around him -- before.  
  
_Before_  he overheard them.  
  
Like how he obviously stuck out ' _like a sore thumb_ ' in class.  
  
...Red hair wasn't exactly very common.  
  
_Especially not when combined with -- eyes like his -- either._  
  
...Nor his other features.  
  
Koushiro breathes --  
  
"...I knew from the start something was  _different_  about me, Taichi-san."  
  
...He continues.  
  
Explains how  _disconnected_  he had felt.  
  
_How much he had worried_  --  
  
_If his reputation was to be like this, surely, it would affect his adoptive parents, too_  --  _their reputations_  --  
  
_In the end, also, it was like a part of him was -- missing, but he didn't know what_  --  
  
_He never found out what_  --  
  
(And then, when it came to... his work  _in Japan_...)  
  
"...It's not that I don't want to help the prospective adoptees living in Japan, too. Of course, I do!  _I really do, Taichi-san!!_  But... due to my own  _status_ , my  _reputation_  might not be high enough, and then... if my reputation isn't high enough, I may not succeed in helping them..."  
  
"Right now, I aim to build up my reputation as much as possible. Then... I'll return to Japan -- and help everyone  _there_ , _too_."  
  
" _I can't fail with this._ "  
  
Taichi remains quiet.  
  
Steps forward --  
  
\-- Places a hand on Koushiro's shoulder.  
  
Clenches it tightly, gaze serious and  _piercing_.  
  
" _...Koushiro, you're already amazing enough._ "  
  
Koushiro looks up -- blinks rapidly in confusion --  
  
"E-Ehh...? Taichi-san?--"  
  
" _Koushiro, who else do you know that's already graduated college at the age you did--?_ "  
  
Koushiro blinks slowly again --  
  
"There were a couple before me, but..."  
  
( _What were their names, again -- Something like "Hi"..."watari"? ..."Ich-"..."-jo-"...?_ )  
  
( _But he can't remember their first names--_ )  
  
Taichi adds a bit of reassuring pressure where he's clenching at Koushiro's shoulder.  
  
"...What matters is  _the amazing work you've already done, Koushiro._ "  
  
" _You'll surely be able to do it._ "  
  
Koushiro blinks quickly in surprise -- smiles softly, genuinely --  
  
"...Taichi-san..."  
  
...Taichi smiles back.  
  
"...Thank you."  
  
*  
  
They had remained like that, for a minute...  
  
Until Koushiro (seemingly reluctantly) laughed softly, reminding him they should get back to work (before his colleagues noticed.)  
  
Taichi resumed his work with...  
  
...A renewed focus...? Of sorts --  
  
Though he was focused, a grin now on his face, he was also thinking hard, in the back of his mind --  
  
( _The pieces were starting to come together, for him--_ )  
  
...He continued like that for a short time, until suddenly --  
  
...Was that a --  
  
Taichi frowns at the area before him, definitely paying closer attention, now.  
  
... _Something didn't feel right_  --  
  
...He stands up.  
  
Brushes the dirt off.  
  
Places the tools he had on hand into his pocket --  
  
"Hey, Koushiro, come over here--?" He tries to keep his voice low, but loud enough Koushiro can hear.  
  
Koushiro blinks in surprise, looking up --  
  
( _from his Pibook -- he had been cataloging the items he found earlier_ )  
  
\-- Closes the Pibook, putting it into his carry bag... moves to come over...  
  
Taichi -- taps the area with his foot, just to make sure he didn't imagine it --  
  
( _A hollow sound_ )  
  
... _He didn't imagine it_  
  
... _The ground underneath Taichi's foot BREAKS APART_  
  
Taichi  _yells_  --  
  
" _TAICHI-SAN--!!_ " Koushiro's yelling too,  _screaming_ , reaching out for him, as they plunge --  
  
"KOUSHIRO--!!"  
  
Taichi cries out, reaching for Koushiro's outstretched hand --  
  
_Reaches it just in time, intertwining their fingers, Koushiro's hand pressing against his own --_  
  
_Pulls Koushiro closer --_  
  
( _'If nothing else, maybe he could still save--'_ )  
  
_\-- against his chest, wrapping his arms around Koushiro's waist, praying, praying--_  
  
...They plunge.  
  
Falling, falling, into the darkness.  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- GOOD JOB TAICHI  
> \- (Taichi voice yelling in the distance "I DIDN'T KNOW!!!")  
> \- (IT'S OK ??? ?? ? JUST GOOD JOB TAICHI)  
> \- Where are they going?? I WONDER WHERE  
> \- (If you haven't read the outline, there were a few hints earlier on...!)  
> \- ok this chapter was actually really hard to write  
> \- mostly I mainly wanted to emphasize some of Koushiro's possible feelings related to this  
> \- but also had to lay out this plus the other side of his work (since there was a lot of it)  
> \- essentially I do kind of headcanon Koushiro to be mixed/biracial  
> (except he doesn't exactly know with what... he never got to learn about it from his adoptive parents here either....)  
> \- I think it's... maaaybe possible within the canon too, if Koushiro's adoptive parents themselves maybe honestly didn't know particularly what Koushiro's parents' ethnic ties were (or at least, those of Koushiro's mother - since it's his father that was a distant cousin, but we hear literally nothing specific about Koushiro's mother WHY. You'd think they would have told him something if they knew?? But in the original's adoption scene they only mention his father and they don't even indicate there that Koushiro was a 'baby' when they died?? So who knows how old he actually was? Unless that's mentioned in production notes somewhere and I haven't seen??)  
> \- but yeah... if you weren't aware, in the original Yamato is also a 'half' (half-French) and he... has that blonde hair and blue eyes (soooo)  
> \- add in Koushiro in the novels noticing he 'sticks out like a sore thumb in class' and (yeahhhh)  
> \- (I'm not quite sure yet what I want Koushiro to be 'mixed' with -- I do also headcanon Taichi probably does have some Okinawan family members, himself... but as for Koushiro... hrmmm)  
> \- (...Maybe it's just because I myself have [also mixed/multi-ethnic] Jewish family members myself [one entire 'side' of the family pretty much] but... I'm kind of thinking what if Koushiro's mother had mixed Jewish ancestry??... Um. I was also definitely not curious about/researching the Japanese-Jewish diaspora not long before getting the idea for this fic [though I was actually researching for unrelated reasons because learning about various other Jewish diasporas in general too bUT yeah])  
> \- (...Well. Just some headcanon-y thoughts for now anyhow)  
> \- (It's possible I might change those thoughts in the future buuuut we'll see)  
> \- (please just... research/google "adoption in Japan" yeah ;;)  
> \- (a good reference I used [though it's a bit 'heavy' reading it and please beware general trigger warnings, but...]: http://sopheliajapan.blogspot.com/2013/01/adoption-in-japan-part-1-why-are-there.html AND the part 2 link there though I used others too) (including some more recent articles from Japanese news sites...) (please keep in mind this is taking place around. well if Tri was set in 2005 by then, then yup. basically high school Taichi -> college Taichi)  
> -an interesting bit from pt. 2: "Adoption in the sense of taking a non-biological child and making them legally and emotionally indistinguishable from a biological child is an entirely new concept in Japan. Legislation to create the legal framework for this sort of adoption was only finalised in 1989." Hey guess what year Koushiro is born around if he's 10 years old and Digimon Adventure takes place in 1999 and written even a bit before that?? (Hhhhh.... ;;)  
> \- one final thing - on those who graduated college early before Koushiro. ..... Yeahhhh. (I might have thrown in another random D.N.Angel series reference just because of that earlier chapter from before, pfft. basically in that series Satoshi "Hiwatari" graduated college already, but returns to middle school to get closer to the protagonist [funnily enough, another spiky-haired "Daisuke"]. meanwhile in Digimon season 2 episode 08, iirc, a reporter asks Ken what he thinks about Americans (?) who skip grades all the way to college with their intellect/genuisness. He replies; it's impossible to do in Japan so he disregards it [or along those lines? I have to rewatch but I believe that's the gist of it] supposedly it is much harder to do in Japan. I'm not sure but Koushiro may have also commented on it in canon from what I heard (?) hence the headcanon that in this "verse" it's "Hiwatari" who paves the way for Koushiro [and a certain someone else] to skip grades and graduate college early, haha. If Satoshi can do it in his world's 'verse because fiction, Koushiro almost certainly can here! [also it might have been Digimon that inadvertly introduced me to D.N.Angel way back because "Daisuke"] DNAngel's Daisuke was just as sweet as ours if not MORE SO, pfft still thanks Digimon] [also that Satoshi was very very very gay for him n e g l like. slightly reminiscent huh. (pfft)])  
> \- ANYHOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN. WHERE ARE THEY FALLING. IT MIGHT BE VERY IMPORTANT


	18. 18 (Love)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I'M SORRY KOUSHIRO

Koushiro stares with shock -- and slight horror -- at the being standing before them.  
  
_It's him_.  
  
( _Except it's not him_ \-- _**it's a younger him**_ \-- but --)  
  
A... ... _Shadow-Koushiro?_  
  
With a knife.  
  
He's all black-toned and dead-looking, almost zombie-like --  
  
Worse than even zombie-like --  
  
A pure black _**digivice**_ clipped to his bag's strap --  
  
A dead half-lidded gaze as he raises the knife --  
  
(-- WITH A KNIFE)  
  
"Koushiro, move!!--"  
  
_But he can't move in time, his legs feel like they're paralyzed_ \--  
  
_Just like the night when the accident happened_ \--  
  
The Shadow-Koushiro lunges.  
  
"KOUSHIRO--!!"  
  
Taichi tackles him down, the Shadow-Koushiro missing them by an inch --  
  
( _A small end lock of Taichi's hair got cut off_ \--)  
  
_The knife is real?!_ \--  
  
_It's a shadow, but the damage is real?!_ \--  
  
Koushiro feels himself be pushed to the dry ground of the well and gives a gasp, feeling Taichi's weight on top of him, but also seeing--  
  
" _ **TAICHI-SAN**_ \--!!"  
  
Taichi moves _immediately_ , rolling over fast, and now Koushiro's on top of him, the Shadow-Koushiro fortunately having missed again but --  
  
Shadow-Koushiro lunges backwards again, for a momentary second.  
  
They scramble to their feet --  
  
The Shadow-Koushiro stares them down.  
  
_**Except now he's not alone**_.  
  
There's a -- _Shadow_ \--  
  
(" _ **Tento...mon**_....?")  
  
" _Shit_!!" Taichi's yelling, and in another second they're separated, Taichi cornered by the Shadow-Tentomon, Shadow-Koushiro advancing on --  
  
Koushiro's legs are still paralyzed.  
  
" _ **Ha-ha!** This is **payback** , **Chosen Children!**_ "  
  
" _ **IZUMI KOUSHIRO!!** You **misreable little Child of Knowledge** , ' **wanting to know everything** '!_"  
  
The voice ripples all around them, _a disgustingly annoying voice_ , and _Koushiro freezes_ \--  
  
_He's heard that voice in his dreams, **nightmares** , before_ \--  
  
" _ **Vademon**_...?!"  
  
The Shadow-Koushiro pauses momentarily as Vademon addresses them, _but it still has the knife_ \--  
  
" **Correct**! _Hooo_ , I'm almost surprised you remembered!"  
  
"...Or have you really  _remembered_?"  
  
"No matter!  _ **Your death in this world**_ **is** _ **long overdue**_ , anyway!"  
  
" _HEY, SHUT UP_ \--!!" Taichi is _screaming_ nearby, but Vademon seems to completely ignore it --  
  
"For **_even you_** know _you must_   ** _NEVER INTERFERE WITH TIME, IZUMI KOUSHIRO!_** "  
  
"You  ** _knew_**  this, your  ** _Knowledgeable_**  self, and yet,  ** _you ignored it completely_** , and  ** _it cost you dearly!_** "  
  
" ** _Be dragged straight to hell once more, except this time, you'll never escape!_** _Farewell_!"  
  
Vademon's voice fades out.  
  
Shadow-Tentomon is still blocking Taichi's path.  
  
The Shadow-Koushiro lunges.  
  
_Koushiro is paralyzed_.  
  
" _KOUSHIRO, CATCH_ \--!!"  
  
With a start, _Koushiro catches it on reflex_ \--  
  
One of the pointed tools they were using just before --  
  
His eyes widen.  
  
" ** _The WEAK SPOT!_** You  ** _know_**  it!  _ **Like in games** -_!!  ** _Like we've talked about_** -!! _KOUSHIRO_ \--!!" Taichi is screaming, desperately.  
  
_He doesn't want to go to Hell again._  
  
_He doesn't want to give up his Knowledge again._  
  
( _His_   **Curiosity-Mind- _Inquisitive Heart_ \--**)  
  
_He doesn't want to die here._  
  
**_He doesn't want to die._**  
  
_He wants to **stay with Taichi-san** \--_  
  
**_HE DOESN'T WANT TO DIE --_**  
  
( ** _HE WANTS TO LIVE--_** )  
  
Koushiro yells as _he moves automatically_ , eyes squeezing shut --  
  
_His arms flying up --_  
  
There's silence.  
  
He opens his eyes.  
  
... ** _His tool is plunged straight into the Shadow-Koushiro's heart_**.  
  
( _ **The weak spot -- a fake heart--**_ )  
  
( _ **A fake heart, like what Koushiro himself always thought he had--**_ )  
  
( _ **Fake, a mistake, an unwanted child, someone who would never find a place in society--**_ )  
  
( _ **Society surely did not take well to adopted children, didn't they--**_ )  
  
( _ **Even if his adopted parents had, he'd let them down, let himself down--**_ )  
  
( _ **By mere virtue of existing--**_ )  
  
( _ **Someone who would never make a friend-- much less friends--**_ )  
  
( _ **Fake, like the 'himself', a cowardly self, that had wanted to 'freeze', 'fly away'--**_ )  
  
( _ **Until-- until--**_ )  
  
( _ **Until he had met--**_ )  
  
Shadow-Koushiro's dead gaze is on him --  
  
_He dissipates_ , shadowy digital material vanishing behind him.  
  
Shadow-Tentomon is dissipating, too.  
  
" _KOUSHIRO_ \--"  
  
Taichi is running towards him --  
  
\-- catches him as he falls.  
  
Koushiro gasps and clings to his jacket --  
  
" _Koushiro, it's ok!! You did it, you did it, they're gone--!!_ "  
  
Koushiro stares up at Taichi --  
  
Taichi's concerned but hopeful gaze is staring down at him, eyes watery --  
  
Koushiro's eyes water, too.  
  
" ** _T...aichi-...san._** "  
  
" _ **...I want to... live.**_ "  
  
... _The well begins glowing_.  
  
They gasp, staring around them -- was it really over, or? --  
  
But now, there were no more shadow-enemies --  
  
Instead, on the well walls --  
  
_Two symbols, circling around each wall, each other_ \--  
  
Their --  
  
_Crests_.  
  
They stare back at each other, eyes widening in realization --  
  
_The Crest of Courage_.  
  
And --  
  
_**The Crest of Knowledge --**_  
  
\-- _begin drifting towards them_.  
  
They shift --  
  
Into their smaller forms, fitting into the palms of their hands.  
  
Koushiro stares down at it.  
  
_**The Crest of Knowledge --**_  
  
_**His Crest --**_  
  
_**In this timeline --**_  
  
It feels warm against his palm.  
  
He feels his eyes prickling.  
  
Suddenly, Taichi's gasping again, and Koushiro looks up --  
  
_\-- Right at Tentomon._  
  
_**The real Tentomon.**_  
  
" _Taichi, you did it!!_ "  
  
_Agumon_ is there, too, crowing in praise for his --  
  
\-- Partner.  
  
" _Agumon_!" Taichi cries, looking teary himself --  
  
" _ **Koushiro-han** , you did amazing~!_"  
  
_Tentomon is praising him now, too,_ raising a "hand" in greeting.  
  
"Vademon should be gone for good, now, because you got your Crests back!" Agumon says.  
  
"I don't know what you can do with them here, but it seems you needed them!" Tentomon adds.  
  
Koushiro's eyes water a bit harder.  
  
"T- _Tentomon_..."  
  
He steps forward -- pauses --  
  
"Where are you guys right now...?" Taichi asks gently, keeping an eye on Koushiro.  
  
"Well, we're not really here, probably," Tentomon hums.  
  
"Or maybe we are! But we don't know," Agumon finishes.  
  
"You were being tested, and you passed!"  
  
"But we were able to say ' _hello_ ' and ' _congratulations_ '!" Tentomon finishes.  
  
"Tested...?" Taichi's humming, a bit thoughtfully.  
  
Tentomon nods.  
  
"Perhaps the Digital World still exists in your timeline, after all!"  
  
"If that's the case... _I'd very much like to see **Koushiro-han** again._ "  
  
Koushiro's blinking back his tears.  
  
" _ **T-Tentomon...**_ "  
  
Tentomon faces him.  
  
" _ **Koushiro-han**_ , you were always trying to do everything on your own."  
  
"Since ' _that_ ' began -- _after so long, even I couldn't help_..."  
  
"But this time, _Taichi-han was able to help you!_ "  
  
" _ **And through that, you gained a new Knowledge.**_ "  
  
_He can almost feel Taichi's soft smile directed at him --_  
  
_\-- He wants to return it, **he just can't take his eyes off Tentomon** \--_  
  
"... **I'm glad** _you're safe now,_ _**Koushiro-han**_. **That you're alive!** "  
  
Koushiro chokes back a _sob_ \--  
  
"-- _But we have to go now._ "  
  
"But it was good to see you again!" Agumon adds.  
  
" _Taichi, too!_ "  
  
" _Agumon_..." Taichi's voice is wobbling --  
  
The Digimon are glowing, drifting away into digital data --  
  
" ** _TENTOMON--!!_** "  
  
He _cries_ it out, staring hard at his Digimon through his tears --  
  
" _ **Thank you--!!**_ " (' _For **waiting** for me!!_ ')  
  
" _ **I'm sorry--**_ " (' ** _I caused you so much pain, too--_** ')  
  
" _ **I love you...!!**_ " (' ** _I'm unworthy, so unworthy, but please forgive me!!_ '**)  
  
Tentomon waves.  
  
(' _ **I'm sorry** \-- that there was nothing more I could do for my **partner**.'_ )  
  
(' _ **You were never unworthy**._ ')  
  
The Digimon vanish.  
  
(' _I'll always be there with you!_ ')  
  
Taichi is holding him up --  
  
(' _You did more than enough for me!!!_ ')  
  
(' ** _Simply by being there at all--!!_** ')  
  
\-- _He wails_.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- TENTOMON IS BEST DIGIMON  
> \- (MY HEART WHEN WRITING THIS)  
> \- (OK BUT ALSO DROPKICKS VADEMON INTO THE SUN!!!)  
> \- YOU GO KOUSHIRO YOU GO  
> \- ok this chapter was partially inspired by reading a summary of an old but different Digimon manhua  
> \- there Koushiro is the ONLY one who finds his Crest at the bottom of the well (Yamato gets his elsewhere)  
> \- THERE'S A SHADOW-KOUSHIRO WITH A KNIFE. WITH A KNIFE !! (ALSO A SHADOW TENTOMON) THAT ATTACKS THEM. WITH THE KNIFE  
> \- "hey how do we make this even worse for him??"  
> \- "have evil shadow selves attack him WITH A KNIFE and also SHOW HIM MEMORIES OF HIS PARENTS OF COURSE!!"  
> \- SUPPOSEDLY HE AND TENTOMON BEAT THEM AND THEN HE SLAMS DOWN/BREAKING HIS FALSE HEART AND TAKING BACK HIS OWN  
> \- (GOOD JOB MANHUA KOUSHIRO THAT SOUNDS AWESOME EVEN IF YOU'RE FROM A SUPPOSED COMEDY ? ??? MANHUA)  
> \- (ok but also I had most of this entire idea forming BEFORE that too because like)  
> \- (Yamato's not here currently so guess who got to be with him this time?? haha)  
> \- (the manhua summary kind of supported the idea though by implying the well's Crests can be modified but Koushiro's will often be there still in most ? adaptations??)  
> \- but yeah there were a lot of thoughts/hints leading up to this chapter too if you can pick them out!!  
> \- and after some digging, managed to find the scan of the Shadow-Koushiro page (not the rest of it, though, but...!):  
> https://i.imgur.com/e77g27v.jpg  
> \- and the summary of the old manhua!:  
> https://withthewill.net/threads/18766-Digimon-Adventure-Never-Localized-Manhua-Adaptation-(Synopsis-amp-Lots-of-Pictures)


	19. 19 (Stars)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter summary: a quick, fluffy little thing until the next few chapters. no warnings!  
> (they're wrapping up the archaeological dig here) (though knowing these timelines it could be elsewhere, too...)

" _Hey_ ,"  
  
They're nestled on top of their sleeping bags, next to each other, holding hands, staring up at the sky.  
  
" _Taichi-san,_ "  
  
" _Koushiro,_ "  
  
They're not sure which of them was speaking -- maybe it was them both, in parallel timelines.  
  
" _Did you know, I made a wish on a star, once? **I wished I'd always continue gaining Knowledge.**_ "  
  
" _Did you know, I made a wish on a star, once? **I wished for something exciting to happen.**_ "  
  
"I didn't know... _But it sounds like you._ "  
  
"I didn't know. _But I can imagine._ I can just imagine you _lazing about in a tree somewhere, the sky above you._ "  
  
" _Taichi-san, did you know, in Greek mythology, it was the god Zeus that controlled the movements of the stars?_ "  
  
" _Koushiro_ , did you know, _I_..."  
  
"I didn't know exactly, _but it sounds like I heard it somewhere once, before._ "  
  
" _I really..._ "  
  
"It sounds nice, heh."  
  
"Hmm?..."  
  
" _ **Taichi-san.**_ "

"...Yeah...?"  
  
" _Really_..."  
  
" _ **I really...**_ "  
  
" _Love you._ "  
  
" ** _Love you._** "

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- it was a silly experimental ""poetic"" thing (haha)  
> \- I couldn't decide on who would say it first ;; so there you go  
> \- benefits of timeloops AU: you get to go in all directions (wah)  
> \- many references to "I Wish" (Adventure's first ending theme song, sung by the lovely AiM/Ai Maeda aka MIMI ;;) in here  
> \- also the flashback scene in Tri's Kokuhaku where Adventure!Koushiro points up at the twinkling star at night while with Tentomon ;A;/  
> \- definitely a headcanon that Taichi has made similar wishes on those stars/shooting stars pre-Adventure before, too


	20. 20 (Family)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter summary: no warnings!  
> (...FINALLY, IZUMI FAMILY ;; MRS IZUMI ;; ;;)  
> (note: Yoshie = Mrs. Izumi, Kae = Koushiro's biological mother)

"I admit... I'm afraid I didn't know _Kae-san_ very well."  
  
"I only met her briefly, before..."  
  
_Izumi Yoshie_ sits with her head down and her hands folded, looking forlorn.  
  
( _Masami_ sits on the opposite end, as well.)  
  
Taichi and Koushiro sit quietly as well -- Taichi with a supportive if serious expression, as he listens...  
  
Koushiro also sitting, with his hands slightly clenched.  
  
"But, from what I remember -- _Kae-san_ was like..."  
  
" _She was like the sun._ "  
  
Koushiro blinks rapidly.  
  
" _Always beaming_ ,  _radiant_..."  
  
An image already drifts into his mind --  
  
An image of a woman --  
  
Somewhat short, but with  _confidence_  ( _so unlike himself--_ ) _head high_ \--  
  
Dressed rather _modestly (a white sundress) but beautiful looking all the same_ \--  
  
_Turning around in the sunlight_ \--  
  
_Her long (slightly past_ _waist-length)_ ** _dark red hair flying behind her_** \--  
  
**_Pure black eyes_** _hidden_ , _eyes closed in the sunlight, but smiling as she beamed_ \--  
  
" _But,_ sometimes I wonder if that was _the right way to describe her._ "  
  
_Koushiro's heart thumps_ \--  
  
"...Because, she had _a kind of **melancholy** to her, _ too..."  
  
\-- The image changes quickly to the same woman, _but this time_ \--  
  
\-- _a sad, forlorn look on her face as she hides her eyes, her expression, looking downwards_ \--  
  
\-- _the same as Yoshie before him, right now_...  
  
( _The same as, frequently -- **himself**..._ )  
  
( _He tries very hard to not think of **those nights** \-- **that night** \--_)  
  
( ** _When he overheard his adoptive parents talking--_** )  
  
( _For what he originally thought was **the first time** , until--_)  
  
( _He had later realized,_ ** _he had heard this all before--_** )  
  
( ** _In his dreams -- nightmares --_** _or were they really '_ ** _nightmares'--?_** )  
  
( _Except_ ** _this part is-- new--_** )  
  
"But -- one day, supposedly, Koushiro -- _she turned to your father._ "  
  
" _And said **with absolute conviction** \--_"  
  
" ** _I want a child._** "  
  
"... _She named you ' **Koushiro** '._"  
  
" _The words in your name_ \-- while together they can resemble, if I recall correctly, ' _photon' 'son_ ' _as well_..."  
  
"She _also chose it for the individual meanings_ \-- ' _Light Child_ ', and ' _Spring_ '."  
  
" ** _To her, to Kae-san, you were a 'child' of 'light', a 'spring'._** "  
  
"As for _your father_ , he worked with _mathematics_ and _computers_ and was very _studious_ \--"  
  
"So, ' _photon_ '... seems like something _he_ would have liked."  
  
"Though I don't know very well what it means..."  
  
(" _ **Photon** : a particle representing a **quantum of light** or other electromagnetic radiation. A photon carries energy proportional to the radiation frequency but has zero rest mass."_ )  
  
_It is fitting_...  
  
**_They both fit_...**  
  
" _Otou-san..._ "  
  
" ** _Okaa-san..._** "  
  
Koushiro breathes out.  
  
_His hands unclench_.  
  
Taichi is watching him, smiling softly --  
  
( _With pride?_ ) --  
  
_Koushiro raises his head_ \--  
  
" _ **Thank you.**_ "  
  
Izumi Yoshie gives a shaky smile towards her son, and nods.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Otou-san = "father", Okaa-san = "mother", a bit more formal than say "tou-san" or "kaa-san". Koushiro canonically uses these in Adventure  
> \- I know a lot of Koushiro fans go with "Kae" for Mrs. Izumi now because most of the Chosens' parents' first names are the first names of their respective seiyuu/voice actors, but I have a fondness for that also-possible "Yoshie" reading too, since oldfic/fans tended to use that one a lot back in circa late 2000s era a.k.a. my old main fandom days... ;; ;; (she just seems like a 'Yoshie' to me, too??)  
> \- (also because her seiyuu/voice actor was so familiar to me as a long-time anime fan, 'Kae' just gives me images of one of her other major roles as Chibiusa Tsukino a.k.a Sailor Chibi Moon... eheh) (and well HIKARI YAGAMI ??? ??) (both of who give off a much younger impression to me tbh ;;)  
> \- so I went with "Kae" being Koushiro's mothers' name instead ;; ;; (because she dies young... cries a lot....)  
> \- KOUSHIRIO'S MOTHER why did we still get literally no information on her I swear not even a concept or small detail?? ;; (I know why, just...)  
> \- (there's some role reversal here too because in canon it's Mr. Izumi giving the info and relating to Koushiro's father)  
> \- friendly reminder that in his cd drama track (linked earlier) Koushiro literally visits his parents' graves during a Japanese holiday that honors ones' ancestors ;; (and visits them again in a later drama cd track around 02) and says while he's /definitely/ accepted his adoptive parents are his parents - "my parents in Heaven are important, too" ;; ;;  
> \- (KOUSHIROOOOO LISTEN THAT LINE IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME OK) ;; ;;  
> \- (just... look.) (your perspective of things in general changes a lot when you yourself have family members who have passed..... ;; ;;)  
> \- (even if you barely knew them, in some cases... ;;)  
> \- (... so YES, they are still important, too.)  
> \- BOTH sets of his parents are important to him and Koushiro will eternally protect them BOTH, thank you very much  
> \- my headcanon that if the worlds/Real World timeline is ever in danger of being reset / rebooted / deleted / destroyed Koushiro will VERY MUCH do everything he can to prevent it because nope he's not letting EITHER set of his parents go through THAT again NOPE. NOPE. HENCE HIS SCENES IN BOKURA NO MIRAI MAYBE even if they just meant it in regards to just the tech... still you know how it can be with these tropes and the potential of timelines breaking and world destruction and Koushiro likely knows too but like hell will Koushiro let that happen if he can help it tbh


	21. 21 (Encounter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter summary: KOUSHIROOOOOOOOOOOOO ;; ;; ;;  
> (I'M SORRY) (not quite a psuedo-death but ..... ..... )  
> (hey if you want gorgeous soul-crushing music backing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ombn8ZmSX-U)  
> (and an accompanying image from the same series [just imagine it with this]:  
> https://78.media.tumblr.com/72e479a210df4f5589aaddabd900608c/tumblr_inline_oxu8urDBgq1qhg2ju_500.png)  
> (which I also included in this old Taishiro fst from like... almost 7 months ago by now wah [long before I got the idea for this fic]:  
> http://izzyizumi.tumblr.com/post/166788934185/ready-a-taichikoushiro-fst)  
> (oK BUT THE TRACK ALWAYS REMINDS ME OF OLDER!TAICHI/KOUSHIRO/TAISHIRO IN GENERAL AND TRI!TAICHI T B H)  
> (SOMEDAY I'LL MAKE AN AMV TO IT TOO... SOMEDAY)

" _ **I couldn't save you.**_ "  
  
_Taichi feels like he's in a whirlwind._  
  
_The younger Koushiro is facing him, right now, right here._  
  
_It's another dream_ ( _ **it's not a dream.**_ )  
  
" _ **I couldn't save you**_. _Again and again_ , _**I couldn't save you**_. The _world kept repeating itself_ , _over and over and over_ , and _no matter what I did to try and stop it, no matter how many times I sacrificed myself for you..._ "  
  
"Somehow, _you became aware_. **_You started to save me_**. And I... _I_... _**I couldn't take it.**_ "  
  
Koushiro's voice was cracking. Taichi was shaking.  
  
" _ **This wasn't right**_. That's what _my Crest_ was telling me - _**the Crest of Knowledge**_. Even _you sacrificing yourself for my sake_ wasn't the answer! **Something** was still _interfering with the fabric of space-time_ \- **_someone_** \-- _**and making everything worse!**_ _We got caught in some awful endless loop!_ And now _**you**_ were the one _**saving me**_ , and _**it was still pointless!!**_ "  
  
" _You'd never let me fight, and still, we both **kept dying**!_ "  
  
"K- _Koushiro_ \--"  
  
"I... _**Taichi-san**_ , _I kept waking up with more **Knowledge**_. _Over and over **and over**_. I'm not sure how much _you_ had in each timeline, but eventually _you were becoming more and more aware too_ , and _trying to stop me_. _**I wanted to stop**_ , _Taichi-san_. **But if I did,** _ **everything would be destroyed.**_ "  
  
" _ **You**_. _**Me**_. _All_ of the ' **you** 's and ' _ **me**_ 's from _every parallel timeline, every universe_. _The Real World_. **The Digital World**. _**The universe itself**_. Unless I _kept trying_."  
  
Taichi feels a bit _faint_. He _has to do something_ , he _has to let Koushiro know **it's ok**_ \--  
  
" _ **...Taichi-san**_ , _I did something I regret. I tried to..._ I- _ **I tried to rewrite the universe somehow**_. _It was **your worst nightmare**_ , _that I'd gain_ **that** _**much Knowledge.**_ "  
  
( _ **God**_ , _**Koushiro**_ , _he really had done it_ , **Koushiro** , _**Koushiro, no, no, no--**_ )  
  
" _But_... _it backfired_. _Something_ was still actively conspiring against me. _Someone_. I made the situation _worse_. **So** , _**so much**_ _worse_."  
  
" **Like I always do.** "  
  
( _ **Koushiro** , no, stop saying that, **it wasn't you** \--_)  
  
" _Some twisted form_ of the... _Digital World_?... I'm still not sure. But _it_ had _your face_ , _an older you_ , like _you look now_ , and _that_ **thing** _began becoming involved_ , _that_ **thing** _began trying to stop me too--_ "  
  
" _I no longer knew what else to do. Taichi-san, I had **failed**._ **Even if** I tried to **_rewrite_** _everything again, even if I **coded the entire goddamn universe from scratch** , some _**new** _ **interference** might pop up, and _**extend the life** _of the universe, and yet, try to keep erasing me, you... everything._ "  
  
"Taichi-san, **it's my fault**. _**It's all my fault.** **I couldn't save you**_. From _the very beginning, when I first began **realizing** , _**it was my** _..._ "  
  
Koushiro's voice was breaking. _Koushiro was breaking_.  
  
"It's my fault **it's my fault** _**it's my--**_ "  
  
_Taichi swoops down_.  
  
_Koushiro_ feels _so light and weightless_ against his chest, _like he's definitely not been eating properly_ , _like his body will fail at any moment_ , and _Taichi obviously knows why, and he's screaming at himself_ ,  
  
( _ **"Why didn't you notice sooner why didn't you help him better why didn't you take care of him why didn't you--"**_ )  
  
" _IT'S NOT!!_ "  
  
" _It's not_... **god** , _**Koushiro**_ , _it's not_... it's not _either_ of _our faults, we were just dumb kids_ , we got roped into this crazy Digital World _by outsiders, remember?_ We were _**Chosen**_ , but _it wasn't our faults!_ "  
  
" _T-Taichi-san_ , but, I still... _I did unthinkable things--_ "  
  
" _You did **enough!!**_ " Taichi cries. "You did _everything you could_ to _save me_ , to _**save everyone**_ \- to save _**everything, every world, every universe!!**_ You _said so yourself_ , if it wasn't for _the interference starting_ to begin with, _you did your absolute best to succeed--!_ "  
  
" _The interference became **worse** because of **me** -_"  
  
" _I don't care!_ " Taichi hugs him tighter, _tighter_ \-- " _You were **a child! A goddamn ten year old child!**_ **I** was _older than you!_ **I** should have _recognized sooner what was going on!_ **I** should have **come up** _with some sort of **miracle**_ \--"  
  
_Koushiro buries his face deep against Taichi's chest. Taichi falls quiet._  
  
Koushiro's still shaking.  
  
" _... **You were already a miracle to me, Taichi-san.**_ "  
  
" _...Even if it **wasn't enough**._ "  
  
Taichi's legs finally give out a bit, and he's sitting now, clinging the younger Koushiro against his chest and doing his best to just... _comfort_ the _younger version of **his best friend**_ \--  
  
"... **Taichi-san, I _really_...** "  
  
" _ **Really... loved you.**_ "  
  
Koushiro's _definitely crying now_.  
  
"But... _the Taichi-san I originally remember knowing was... long gone_. As was _every other Taichi-san that came after._ "  
  
" _And **me** , too..._"  
  
"N- _No_ ," Taichi protests weakly, hands shaking against Koushiro's back now. " _No_."  
  
" _You're here right now._ **Koushiro's** _here before me right now_ \- ...the _younger you_ , anyway. _Back home-- back at_ **my home** _\--_ "  
  
(Wait, _should he be telling this to the younger Koushiro?_ He hastily rephrases his thoughts-)  
  
"We're ... _best friends_. _The absolute best of best friends_. Somehow, _we'll still find each other_ \- **I'll find you**. _**I'll always find you.**_ "  
  
"You're going to be a c _ollege presenter_ on -- on _adoption_ , _you do all these amazing things to help children like yourself--_ "  
  
_Koushiro stiffens_ a bit against his chest.  
  
Taichi realizes _this Koushiro never told him he was adopted._  
  
**He never had the chance.**  
  
"Oh **god** , _**Koushiro** _ \-- _Koushiro_ , you're going to -- _you still love the computer, you know?_ _You still have your goddamn **Pibook** ,_ and it's _so cute_ because _the 90s were ages ago_ , and _you still get wrapped up in it constantly_ , and--"  
  
Koushiro _stiffles something halfway between a choked laugh(-cry) and a normal laugh._  
  
" _... **I was wondering what happened**_ **to** _**that old thing**._ "  
  
_Taichi is about ready to cry himself if Koushiro doesn't stop._ He furiously blinks away tears.  
  
" _You live alone_ , and _it's really fucking sad_ , and _I kinda feel drawn to you for some reason_ , and then you _start talking to me about_ **archaeology** _of all things_ , and _the science and tech of course--_ "  
  
" _Archaeology's_ a _new one_...? Sort of, _I didn't get to do as much with it, before--_ "  
  
( _ **Koushiro was a kid then.**_ )  
  
"And just... _we start, uh,_ **hanging out** _, and..._ "  
  
Koushiro stiffles another half- _cry_ , half- _laugh_.  
  
"A-And _we really are best friends_ , and _you invite me over more often_ , and soon _you invite me to an archaeology dig_ , and _a lot of crazy things start happening--_ "  
  
" _It was likely the loop--_ " Koushiro is about to interrupt, but Taichi doesn't let him go down that path.  
  
"Anyway, _we find our Crests in the same place this time_ , and before that _we started having dreams, these crazy interwined dreams, dreams of another Digital World and being with each other and even during the worst hardships, we--_ "  
  
Taichi freezes.  
  
_The dreams_ were showing them **this** , _all along_.  
  
" _...The metal city_. **Mugendramon**."  
  
"...Yeah," Taichi gives a half-broken whisper.  
  
" _...That's when I soon knew **I couldn't save you.**_ "  
  
" **Koushiro** , _no_ , just listen, you -- _we're ok!!_ We resolve part of what the dreams meant, we think, _we even solved the mystery concerning your_ \-- it was hard, but _you got closure for so many things, and--_ "  
  
Koushiro shakes a bit again. Taichi thinks he hears him whispering, " _m-my parents?_ "  
  
"And, Koushiro, _I_... _you_... _we're ok_. We're _back home_ , and _I'm dreaming_ , and _you're dreaming_ , _and soon we'll wake up_ , and _we'll figure something out_... _somehow_... **Koushiro** , _I swear we will, we--_ "  
  
" **It's ok, Taichi-san.** "  
  
( _ **Oh god no--**_ )  
  
"But... _I don't know what I can do, anymore._ "  
  
" _The universe is..._ **rejecting** _... **m** -"_  
  
Taichi hugs Koushiro tightly again.  
  
"It doesn't matter. _**It doesn't matter**_. If _the universe_ tries to -- _reject_ \-- _we're still going to **wake up, anyway!** It's still going to **continue** , **anyway!!**_ "  
  
" **Koushiro** , _because of all this, **new timelines** were created!!_ **New ones** where we're _older_ , and _wiser_ , _and have more capability as **adults** ,_ and-- _even you_ , you're **_an adult--_** "  
  
" _ **Koushiro**_ , **Koushiro** , _god Koushiro_ , _it's going to be ok_ , **I swear to you** _it's going to be ok, **it's going to be ok--**_ "  
  
Taichi is rambling, he started rambling a long time ago, and Koushiro smiles against him.  
  
" **Taichi-san**. ..."  
  
" _..._ "  
  
They sit in silence for a few long, long, long moments.  
  
Koushiro slowly lifts himself up, but not his head, yet. He can't seem to look at Taichi.  
  
" _...Shall I try again?_ "  
  
He looks up, now - _directly at Taichi. Unblinking._  
  
_He wants to know if **Taichi** still wants this world to be saved._  
  
_He's letting **Taichi** make the choice, this time -- to a Taichi that didn't have to save him._  
  
_Yet._  
  
" _YES. God, Koushiro, yes._ I -- _you shouldn't have to_ \-- but -- _I just want to stay near with you--_ "  
  
"With... _your Koushiro._ "  
  
"Yes. Yeah. **But** \-- _**you** don't deserve to -- either--_ "  
  
Koushiro's teary eyed, again.  
  
_The Knowledge symbol is gleaming bright purple against his chest._  
  
Taichi starts -- _his own, too_ \--  
  
"...Then, I'll try again."  
  
"For _our_... _**miracle**_."  
  
Suddenly -- Taichi cries out --  
  
_The world is shattering all around them, and the shards are falling right around Koushiro, just like the shards in the metal city that surrounded them, except much worse, because they're huge and jagged and--_  
  
" _KOUSHIRO!!!_ -"  
  
_The Crest of Knowledge keeps shining._ **Koushiro** , in the distance, _huge shards falling all around, obscuring nearly everything except his form, his eyes and tears,_ gives him _a genuine smile_.  
  
_Suddenly, **the Taichi-san before him looks a lot like his own Taichi-san.**_  
  
" _ **KOUSHIROOOOOOOOOOOOO--!!!!!**_ "  
  
" **R E P E A T ?_** "  
  
..........  
  
Taichi's falling. And falling, and falling, _and fall_ \--  
  
......  
  
" **_YES** "  
  
.........................................  
  
*  
  
He wakes up.  
  
He's awake. _He's awake_. _**God** , he hasn't died, again, again, somehow._  
  
" ** _Koushiro_** \--!!"  
  
Koushiro -- _his Koushiro_ \-- is next to him -- with his face scrunched up into a frown, teary eyed, shaking slightly, _like he was having a similar, the same, dre--_  
  
But _he's ok, he's ok, he's here, he's here, he's safe with Taichi--_  
  
Taichi buries his face against Koushiro _and sobs_.  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- this was. THE FIRST PART I ever wrote for this thing ;;  
> (written: Apr. 15th, 2018)  
> \- FINALLY I get to post it  
> \- I'M SORRY KOUSHIRO  
> \- most of the rest of my notes for this are covered in the extended outline linked, for further info/revelations!  
> \- link again to said outline: http://izzyizumi.tumblr.com/post/172990799460/  
> \- if you reached this point it's overall non-spoilery by now  
> \- anything that comes after this is most likely "new" bits and/or if not, elaboration so yeah!!  
> \- I might make a second post of notes on the tumblr once it's mostly "finished" to point out all the hints, foreshadowing, parallels, references etc. etc.  
> (because ever since even the first chapter there was... a lot of that yeah..... hhha... even if they were small things and even if the chapters were written out of order and some parallels came to mind suddenly while writing.....)  
> \- anyhow. yes. I am very much a supporter of Tri!Taichi and the conclusions he obviously came to because like. Look, Taichi is wonderful and beautiful and amazing and a hero but he can't always save everyone. He can't always bring about miracles. He KNOWS it, ok. In Tri it's obvious he was realizing that since "Saikai" with the scene of him by the lake?? Possibly even before that canon-wise tbh?? (There were shades of it even before Tri too....) Like, yes, shounen anime. But they're growing up. They're not silly kids in a shounen anime aimed at young boys and only young boys anymore. And just... trying constantly to shoulder everything / save everything all on your own (even with them as a group, too) is self-destructive behavior tbh ok..... um yeah.  
> \- (This doesn't mean they WON'T still try for their "miracle", even if... it's not the one they originally wanted.....)  
> \- (ok but I had these thoughts forming before even Tri too so. yeah ;; Taichi ;;)  
> \- ok that said. there's another very important plotty chapter coming soon after this too, though!  
> \- (and some other things.....)


	22. 22 (Adopted)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter summary: TAICHI I'M SORRY  
> KOUSHIRO I'M SORRY  
> (not quite psuedo-death but.......?? ;;)  
> (THIS CHAPTER IS VERY SIGNIFICANT THOUGH.....)

" **You've lost.** "  
  
Their voices crack simultaneously, like a whip, across the empty digital space.  
  
_Koushiro glowers_ at _the being_ before him.  
  
_The being_ glowers back.  
  
_The being with the older Taichi-san's face. Except it's not his Taichi-san._  
  
"You've lost," Koushiro repeats, with more finality.  
  
_He steps forward._  
  
The air around the digital space _crackles with electricity -- under his shoes, with each step._  
  
_Electric --_ like the lightning bolts on the soles of said shoes.  
  
_Like his element._  
  
" _I made a promise..._ to the other Taichi-san. _I'd try again._ "  
  
" _For our miracle._ "  
  
The being's face is twisting into a snarl.  
  
He raises his finger to point _directly at Koushiro_ , as if to say,  
  
' _ **That's wrong. You know it's wrong.**_ '  
  
' _ **You're next.**_ '  
  
" **It's ok,** " Koushiro affirms.  
  
"' _Even if I cry, I won't change anything about this future made of erased words._ '"  
  
The being flickers dangerously.  
  
" _Now_ , _**give me back Taichi-san.**_ "  
  
All at once, the entire dimension around him begins flickering. The already-dim lights are growing dimmer.  
  
The being fades.  
  
_A stunned Taichi - his Taichi - is standing before him._  
  
He opens his mouth into a half-scream, about to shout Koushiro's name in his surprise.  
  
_Koushiro beats him to the punch._  
  
He _runs_ , runs into _a flying tackle and slams into Taichi, dragging his best friend into a bone-crushing hug._  
  
( _The kind Taichi would probably give to him._ )  
  
" _Taichi-san,_ " Koushiro _gasps_ against him.  
  
_He's here. **Taichi-san's here.**_  
  
He feels Taichi trembling underneath him.  
  
" _Taichi-san,_ **_Taichi-san_ ,** _it's ok._ _**It's ok.**_ "  
  
" _ **We're winning.**_ **I'm here.** **You're with me _\-- you don't have to protect me anymore--_** "  
  
Taichi moves to shake his head in horror, but Koushiro hugs him tighter.  
  
" _ **I'll stay with you.**_ _No matter what, **I'll stay with you.**_ "  
  
" _Even if **the world tries to reject us again** , _**even if our paths are different, _I'll be with you._** "  
  
Taichi's shaking again. It's like his feelings are coming across to Koushiro, even if he can't phrase them --  
  
( **" _What are you going to do?_ "**)  
  
" _We'll reset the world **together,**_ _this time._ _No more trying to do it on our own._ "  
  
" _No more you trying to protect me._ "  
  
" **No more me trying to stop you from protecting me.** "  
  
" _ **This time, I'll fight, too.**_ "  
  
Taichi's shaking seems to stop, but there's still _a tingling_ on his skin, _a worry_.  
  
" **Even if it happens again, I'll fight.** "  
  
" **But I won't change anything.** "  
  
Taichi buries his face against Koushiro's head, grasping the hair at Koushiro's neck.  
  
"This whole time -- _Taichi-san, this whole time -- I was trying to find the right words to say_."  
  
" _The correct words. My own words._ "  
  
" _Words that proved I could truly feel._ "  
  
Koushiro lifts his head up completely. _Stares directly at Taichi._  
  
" ** _Taichi-san. Thank you. Thank you for inviting me to the summer camp._** "  
  
" ** _If you hadn't, I wouldn't have found myself._** "  
  
_Taichi stares._  
  
" **Taichi-san.** "  
  
" _ **I really... really... really love you.**_ "  
  
" _Kou--_ _**shiro--**_ "  
  
He's _gasping, as if he hadn't been able to say Koushiro's name to him in a very long time._  
  
Koushiro lays his head against his chest. _Wills Taichi-san to calm down._  
  
" _...Shall we try again?_ "  
  
**R E P E A T? Y/N_**  
  
"We still have to _save both worlds. Our world. All of them._ "  
  
The world has gone black.  
  
" ** _Our mission hasn't actually yet ended._** "  
  
The dialogue in white color is flashing before them.  
  
_After a point, Koushiro hadn't needed his computer, after all._  
  
Taichi's mouth moves -- _slowly, forming the word --_  
  
" **YES** "  
  
The world breaks apart.  
  
"This is insignificant, by the way," Koushiro whispers, against his chest.  
  
"And you may even already have learnt this yourself, somehow--"  
  
He wraps his arms around Koushiro.  
  
" **Taichi-san,** _**I'm adopted.**_ It's insignificant. Perhaps it may help to know in another timeline -- or perhaps not -- _but it's--_ "  
  
"Just, _to myself, to you, I have to say it properly--_ "  
  
They fall. And fall, _and fall, and fall --_  
  
"It's not insignificant," Taichi whispers into his ear.  
  
*  
  
Koushiro is only just barely able to brush his lips against Taichi's --  
  
\--  
  
\--  
  
-  
  
-  
  
*  
  
C O M P L E T E.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- ???  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> \- ("Even if I cry, I won’t change anything about the future made of erased words")  
> \- (Koushiro's Tri character song, "Kioku no Kakera" / "Shards of Memory" reference:)  
> https://minknowl.tumblr.com/post/158979146658/記憶のカケラ-koushiro-side  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9-0CAKUUsY


	23. 23 (Ends)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter summary: a graveyard

"...Do you think _I knew?_ All this time..."  
  
They're at _the graveyard holding Koushiro's parents._  
  
They were visiting _his parents' grave itself,_ too, but this time, they had _added -- something else._  
  
_A photo of the younger Koushiro_ (supplied by Koushiro himself) -- it wasn't quite the same thing, because in this photo _this Koushiro_ had _a more innocent, natural smile_ (though there was _maybe still **a sort of emptiness** to it... Taichi tries to push those thoughts out of his mind_ ) -- but _it'd do._  
  
_Taichi **couldn't not mourn him** after all of **that.**_  
  
" _...Maybe._ I don't know. Maybe because _we never went to the Digital World physically_ in _this timeline,_ _we..._ "  
  
" _Forgot. ...About it._ "  
  
Koushiro looks contemplative. He's staring down hard at the other Koushiro's photo.  
  
" _...Look, Koushiro..._ "  
  
_What's he trying to say?_  
  
" _All I knew before --_ that I _remember_ anyway, _when I met you,_ back at _that_ presentation _for the first time--_ "  
  
Koushiro turns to stare at him, now.  
  
" _All I remember was thinking you looked very_ **pre** _ **-** **...beautiful.**_ "  
  
Koushiro's mouth quirks again, in that way _it always does_ when _he's trying to not grin._  
  
"--And then _I stupidly interrupted you_ with _that stupid question_ , and then I tried to apologize, and, I don't know, _I just felt--_ "  
  
" _ **Drawn--**_ " They both say, and then stare at each other, eyes widening.  
  
" _Towards you._ " They both say, again, in a breath.  
  
_(Like an old cliche.)  
  
_ ( _Old, but ... with fondness_ )  
  
Taichi _tries to remember -- the dream._  
  
" _I told... the other Koushiro_. **I don't know how I can,** _but **I'll always find you. No matter what, I'll always...**_ "  
  
Koushiro steps forward and embraces him into a hug.  
  
Taichi stops. (...Gapes, a little.)  
  
" _... **I** should be saying that._ " Koushiro's grinning a bit against him.  
  
"But... **_you found me._** "  
  
" _ **I found you.** I was... _**drawn** _towards you._ And _we're ok,_ " Taichi adds, voice cracking,  
  
"and _we're alive,_ **you're _alive,_** _god, **Koushiro,** **you're here--**_ "  
  
Koushiro hugs him tighter. Taichi's train of thought is allowed relief.  
  
_Taichi's crying._ Light tear tracks are going down his face, and, _god_ , he moves to wipe them away--  
  
" ** _...I'm here._** "  
  
Some time passes, there, in the graveyard, Koushiro hugging him, still.  
  
Taichi's eyes stop watering. As much.  
  
" _...Shall we place_ the _younger you_ with _him_ , too?"  
  
Taichi starts a bit, again--  
  
"His photo, I mean."  
  
"O- _Oh_. I, _uh_ , I have better photos at home, so we can use tha--"  
  
"Taichi-san, may I see your wallet--?"  
  
Taichi gives it up without protest.  
  
Koushiro goes immediately for the photo where **_a younger Taichi_** is _grinning, beaming, giving the camera a peace sign._  
  
" _This one._ ... It doesn't need to look professional."  
  
" _ **I want him to have a happy Taichi-san near him.**_ "  
  
_Koushiro places the second photo upon the grave. Right next to his own._  
  
_Now, it looks a bit brighter, almost._  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- ...  
> \- ???  
> \- ;;  
> \- (we'll see....)  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> \- (when Taichi starts at Koushiro's question, he's remembering Koushiro must have had the same -- or similar -- "dream".)


	24. 24 (Scars)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter summary: ...

_Koushiro turns to spot him._  
  
Slowly smiles.  
  
_Holds up his phone._  
  
_**(His legs, underneath the pants of his high school uniform, still have his scars.)**_  
  
*  
  
_He loves everything about Koushiro,_ he _really_ does.  
  
_But Koushiro as he is like this..._  
  
_Koushiro,_ with his _completely scarred legs,_ sitting _casually_ in their room with him and _the other Chosen,_ _talking like he normally does about some theory or other,_ but _using an amusing mix of formal politeness, technical talk,_ and  _a (strong) hint of the 90s boy he is in him_  --  
  
He's wearing his brown shorts, and his green light jacket over an orange striped shirt, and his hair is _that wild dark red_ that somehow manages to look  _bright_  at the same time, and he has his  ** _old but trusty yellow Pibook_**  open before him, _his pure black eyes sparkling,_ and  _everything about him clashes, but_...  
  
_He's comfortable. He's sitting here just fine.  
  
That's what matters._  
  
Taichi knows Koushiro'll still have hang-ups over his  _paralysis_ - _scars-_ _emotions_  sometimes. Koushiro knows himself, too.  
  
_But_ as long as  _Koushiro's comfortable **right now** , surrounded by  **his friends** ,  **with Taichi**  --  
  
\-- That's what matters._  
  
_(And, to Yagami Taichi?)_  
  
**(Izumi Koushiro is beautiful completely as he is.)**  
  
*  
  
 **_**  
  


*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- ...  
> \- ???  
> \- ???


	25. 25 (Faith)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a cavern.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter summary: a cavern.
> 
> \- wow I'M FINALLY UPDATING THIS  
> \- updates may be sporadically  
> \- also out of order from when they were originally written / take place within the series  
> \- anything past this point may contain spoilers for the earlier chapters/scenes  
> \- anything past this point may also explain earlier chapters/scenes  
> \- anything past this point may also be included OUTSIDE earlier chapters/scenes [i.e. AUs of AU]  
> \- anything past this point may contain AUs not particularly Repeat-verse related at all  
> \- (but it may still be functioning in the background bc... Repeat-verse)  
> \- anything past this point may be vaguely written / half-formed ideas (i'm sorry, writing is hard)  
> \- i'm sorry it's this kind of series  
> \- every now and then I think of this scene even in general and my heart hurts  
> \- it's literally one of the few times we see Koushiro Izumi physically 'crying' without hiding it  
> \- this may also explain part of where the heck the rest of the kids were and what they were (maybe) doing (if at all)  
> \- tbh a lot of what comes past here wasn't planned for the 'original' storyline but it sure can be inserted in without changing much (haha)

His legs are burning.  
  
( _Burning, burning --_ ) _  
  
_*  
  
\-- Suddenly...  
  
 _(" RUN-- ")_  
  
A hand is grabbing his own.  
  
Pulling him along --  
  
He tries to keep up, even though he keeps falling --  
  
Falling --  
  
The hand  _yanks_  him up, a bit harder.  
  
He can hear someone speaking --  
  
He blinks quickly --  
  
They're in ... this place --  
  
 _Koushiro knows where he is_.  
  
The reflecting shades of "blue" light wash over his face.  
  
"-- _shiro_ \--"  
  
Koushiro blinks --  
  
\-- looks up.  
  
Jou stares down at him.  
  
"I'll hold them off!!"  
  
Gomamon's shouting, somewhere in the background --  
  
 _The swings._  
  
Jou attempts to pull him up.  
  
 _Koushiro can barely move_ , but --  
  
\-- Jou somehow manages...  
  
"Koushiro."  
  
Jou says it surprisingly calmly.  
  
Koushiro stares up at him --  
  
(His eyes still bleary, but beginning to focus--)  
  
" **You need to escape**."  
  
Koushiro blinks harder, focusing --  
  
Slowly begins shaking his head, but --  
  
"... _Something's been going on, right_?"  
  
Jou says it _oddly_ calmly.  
  
Koushiro feels his heart pounding in his chest --  
  
\-- beginning to pound even harder --  
  
[ '  _T H E Y C A N' T K N O W--_ ' ]  
  
"...Mimi-kun's been worried about you."  
  
Jou sags a bit, his own expression showing concern.  
  
(' _But-- she--_ ')  
  
"She, um ... well..."  
  
"She heard you and Taichi talking, one of those times--"

( " _And_..." )  
  
Koushiro feels weak.  
  
*  
  
Suddenly, he's on the swing --  
  
Koushiro blinks rapidly, vision swimming into focus --  
  
\-- Opens his mouth as if to shout  
  
' _ **NO**_ **...!!** ' --  
  
...  
  
("I don't really know what's going on, but...")  
  
"... ** _Go_  --!!**"  
  
(" _Go save him_ \--")  
  
(" **Go save everyone, Koushiro**.")  
  
" **JOU** - _SAN_ \--!!"  
  
*  
  
 _The white sheet flies towards him_ \--  
  
*

  
  
**R E P E A T ?_**

 

  
* **  
**

**  
YES**

  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- basically PROTECT JOU KIDO  
> \- (AND THE REST)  
> \- (I also really should attempt some TaiJyoushiro scenes at some point bc polyships?? Joushiro is also too pure ?? ?)  
> \- honestly this fandom could use so many more polyships
> 
> \- this chapter was originally titled "white" (white sheet) but maybe "Faith" is better bc ... Jou ;;
> 
> \- also, "-kun": Jou's Japanese honorific for Mimi. It's typically used for male friends, but it can also be used by older ones (such as Jou, senpai) towards younger ones (such as Mimi, kohai.) However, for others (like Koushiro) he just uses their names - more likely because he's the eldest. Koushiro, for example, also referred to Miyako as "Miyako-kun", despite using -san for Taichi and most of the others from the original group.  
> It's also why a change from a -san to a -kun or even dropping honorifics completely would be significant particularly for Koushiro (if he even /does/ - as of Tri, he's /still/ using -san for Taichi and pretty much everyone. You'll rarely hear a -chan from Koushiro, for example).  
> i.e., Koushiro is /polite as heck/.  
> [link to honorifics chart not mine, but for your reference!] https://blitzente.dreamwidth.org/2210.html


	26. 26 (Not)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- takes place right after chapter 22  
> \- spoilers for the . initial . ending  
> \- (... part of ) ( it )  
> \- ( i'm sorry )  
> \- ( I DO LOVE THEM I SWEAR )  
> \- see end notes for warnings/further notes  
> \- i'm sorry it's so short (consider it like a close to 100 word drabble / ficlet?) but it's the feeling ;;  
> \- elaborating on a certain part of ch. 22 ...

They fall. And fall, and fall, and fall --  
  
"It's not insignificant," Taichi whispers into his ear.  
  
*  
  
Koushiro is only just barely able to brush his lips against Taichi's --  
  
\--  
  
\--  
  
-  
  
-  
  
*  
  
There's no time left.  
  
*  
  
Everything after that is a haze  
  
*  
  
but, perhaps  
  
*  
  
_in some other_ \-- -- --  
  
*  
  
... he can  
  
*  
  
**feel**  
  
*  
  
**Taichi-san's . . . heartbeat**  
  
*  
  
( " Hey . . . " )  
  
*  
  
_As if like a dream_ \--  
  
*  
  
**After an endless dream, in this miserable world**  
  
  
*  
  
( it's not spoken . )  
  
( it doesn't have to be spoken . )  
  
*  
  
( " . . . **It's okay.** If . . . y o u w a n t o s t o p. " )  
  
*  
  
Koushiro's  
  
. . . tired  
  
*  
  
He's  
  
. . . **so**  
  
. . . _**tired.**_  
  
*  
  
they're  
  
fading  
  
( _fading away_ \---)  
  
*  
  
Koushiro  
  
_**feels**_ \--  
  
*  
  
( _the lightest brush_  )  
  
( _of a k i s s_ )  
  
*  
  
( eyes )  
  
( teary )  
  
*  
  
( " **Hey, Taichi-san?** " )  
  
( " . . . " )  
  
( " You're  
  
**n o t**  
  
an  
  
. . . idiot . " )  
  
*  
  
They leave the  
  
cursor  
  
flashing .  
  
*  
  
[ " T h a n k y o u " ]  
  
*  
  
[ " I l o v-------- " ]  
  
*

*

*

*

*

 **You've already** dyed me in the **s a m e c o l o r**

[ **r e d** ]

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- notes/warnings: implications of depression / death  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> \- Koushiro very likely uses "aishiteru" (instead of "suki"/"daisuki [da]" here)  
> \- it's ... very likely the ONLY time he'll ever ... use it  
> \- for more on that:  
> https://www.tofugu.com/japan/kokuhaku-love-confessing-japan/
> 
> \- ( I ' m s o r r y )
> 
>  
> 
> \- ;; ( there's ... still more ...... m a y b e )
> 
> \- i was seriously wanting to use Koushiro's final line ("not") for a . very . very . long time now
> 
> \- "you've already dyed me in the same color" - from the Kagepro song "Red".  
> http://dennoushoujo.tumblr.com/post/152805460932/  
> listen here (if wanted): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EUeW176BAw  
> warning: it's an official music video for the anime and pretty much spoils the entire Music Route / story / plot / warnings for Kagepro, so please be warned! It's incredibly flashy (like /extremely so/) too so may not be good to view if you have epilepsy ;; (however, this is also the full version of the song...)  
> (you can easily listen without watching it if preferred!!)  
> (friendly reminder: not a direct parody. more friendly reminder: still v. inspired ;; ;;)  
> \- maybe referring /here/ to Koushiro's [red] hair (... among . other . things)  
> \- (i'm probably making the next amv to this one, I'm sorry.....)  
> \- "After an endless dream, in this miserable world" - Butter Fly.
> 
> \- i'm sorry I've been so slow with updating this ;; (but eventually ... hopefully ;;)


	27. 27 (Parents)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- notes/warnings: Izumi family.  
> (see end notes for warnings)  
> \- word count: 301  
> \- ( I ' M S O R R Y )  
> \- ( I LOVE THE IZUMI FAMILY I'M SORRY OK )

It's dark.  
  
Like a slow terror, seeping in.  
  
*  
  
Koushiro's room is  
  
so dark  
  
but  
  
*  
  
He needs to -- make sure --  
  
*  
  
They're safe  
  
*  
  
 **His parents**  
  
*  
  
Yoshie sits there, her hands clasped in her concern.  
  
She's sitting alone.  
  
[ because ]  
  
[  _ **his father**  left to  **look for --**_  ]  
  
*  
  
[1]  
  
"Otou-san, hurry!!--"  
  
 _Pulling his_  
  
 **father**  
  
along, as they run --  
  
*  
  
[2]  
  
"I'll go look for Koushiro!"  
  
Masami flies from the room.  
  
Winds up on the street  
  
the sky is darkening, with all the  ~~bats~~  --  
  
  
\-- _the feeling of_  
  
 **a hand**  
  
grabbing his own.  
  
Masami blinks in his surprise.  
  
*  
  
[0.2]  
  
Koushiro sits beside her.  
  
For a while, they both simply sit there,  
  
staring at the wall, and yet,  
  
nothing.  
  
*  
  
[ **s h e c a n ' t s e e h i m** ]  
  
*  
  
[0.1]  
  
Yoshie sighs.  
  
Koushiro continues to sit with her, as  
  
the room  
  
darkens  
  
*  
  
[0.0000000000----------????x?]  
  
*  
  
He can't help but flash back.  
  
A much brighter afternoon,  
  
when he was very little...  
  
Somehow,  
  
he had wound up resting,  
  
face sleepily nudged against Yoshie's leg.  
  
*  
  
He thinks he hears  
  
humming?  
  
A tune?  
  
*  
  
It's gentle.  
  
Beautiful, really.  
  
[ _fitting of **his mother**_ ]  
  
*  
  
He can't help but lose himself in that tune, as she hums.  
  
*  
  
As Koushiro rests, Yoshie gently rubbing his shoulder,  
  
( _Thinking he hears_  )  
  
( _his father's voice, too_ )  
  
( _murmuring in the distance_ \-- )  
  
Koushiro lies there and thinks,  
  
right now,  
  
*  
  
 **it's ok if he just stays like this, right?**  
  
*  
  
[3]  
  
"Hey, _Okaa-san_?"  
  
" Thank you. "  
  
*  
  
 ~~ **[ I M S O R R Y ]**  
  
 **[ I L O V E Y O U ]**~~  
  
*  
  
[0.2]  
  
Yoshie blinks in surprise.  
  
Turns -- _looks downwards_ \--  
  
\-- next to her --  
  
*  
  
[2] ? [0.2] ??  
  
\-- there's no one there.  
  
*  
  
[4]  
  
Izumi Yoshie stands up.  
  
Face firmly set.  
  
*  
  
" I'll go with you " [ ~~" **...!!** " ~~]  
  
 ~~to look for~~  
  
*  
  
 **[ Y O U C A N ' T !!!!! ]**  
  
*  
  
 **R E P E A T?_**  
  
*  
  
"Y"  
  
*  
  
 _The sound of the rain is knocking_  
  
*  
  
 **Tears fall down**  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- warnings: implied (psuedo?[??])-deaths, implied depression, kind of Repeat-verse, VAMDEMON ARC  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> \- "Okaa-san" - mother (Japanese honorific Koushiro uses for her, can also be formal as in Koushiro's case [as opposed to informal])  
> \- "Arigatou" - Koushiro (instead of the more formal "arigatou gozaimas[u]")  
> \- /and this is why you didn't see the Izumis much in Repeat/  
> \- (Koushiro voice: 'N O' 'N O' 'N O' 'N ---------------')  
> \- (I SAID I WAS SORRY)  
> \- (meanwhile god Mrs. Izumi gives me life MRS IZUMI I LOVE YOU)  
> \- (SHE IS THE PUREST CHARACTER IN THIS SERIES OK)  
> -  
> \- partially original feelings, partially too many Koushiro + Izumi meta thoughts,  
> extremely vaguely inspired feelings from this Kage//pro song too however:  
> \- Gunjou Rain (Ultramarine Rain): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S29XEsVCtFg  
> \- "the sound of the rain is knocking" / "Tears fall down" - from the end of this song  
> \- (it has fanarts in it orz, I'm sorry, it's the only subbed/one of the only full versions available iirc ;; [but subs])  
> \- some spoilers for Kagepro (also a minor thing in later Novels Route) concerning characters Mary Kozakura + Shion + Kousuke Seto  
> \- advised to watch the following first for Mary's initial story if you do (it also introduces another important character referred to in the song):  
> \-- Imagination Forest: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXB2tFFYr58&index=10  
> \-- Kuusou (Fantasy) Forest, an alternate/updated version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQFZ4r4NtSg  
> \-- (my) full Kagepro Music Route Playlist (+etc.) if you're interested in any of the rest (please remember to heed any and all warnings):  
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMQpfih90Rt66dJ7X4Pn19y9NE4AgsxX4  
> \- this one was actually written way back in November, so yeah posting many of these out of order maybe  
> -  
> \- kinda elaborated on in attempted meta here:  
> http://izzyizumi.tumblr.com/post/181623073845/  
> (going to update and replace with a more cohesive / original post meta later on though!)


	28. 28 (Wings)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- notes/warnings: out of order, m a y b e Adv!Repeat verse, see end notes for further warnings/notes  
> \- advised to read the rest of the fic first (if you do)  
> \- word count: 129 (drabble/ficlet)

... It's  
  
 **bright**  
  
so  
  
 **bright**  
  
Koushiro  
  
shields his eyes  
  
... **What's going on ? --**  
  
... _suddenly_ ,  
  
 _before him_ ,  
  
. . . **Taichi _-_** \--??  
  
*  
  
Taichi's --  
  
\-- smiling.  
  
. . . So  
  
gently.  
  
*  
  
 **Time** \--  
  
it almost seems to --  
  
\-- _s t o p_  
  
*  
  
... _Taichi's arms_  
  
encircle around  
  
... **Koushiro**  
  
*  
  
... Koushiro can hear his heartbeat.  
  
*  
  
" **H e y ,** "  
  
" **K o u s h i r o** "  
  
*  
  
"  **You know**  
  
 _This isn't_  '  **t h e e n d**  '  
  
\-- ...  **r i g h t ?**  "  
  
*  
  
"...It's just  
  
...  **the beginning!** "  
  
*  
  
Koushiro's  
  
eyes  
  
... they're  
  
watery  
  
*  
  
... Koushiro  
  
... can't feel  
  
... Taichi  
  
... pull away  
  
*  
  
"  **KOUSHIRO**   **!!**  "  
  
*  
  
A SHOUT, _reverberating_ , around him --  
  
*  
  
"  **Your courage --**  "  
  
*  
  
"  _Turn it ... **into wings!!**_  "  
  
*  
  
 _... An eternally_  
  
 _beaming_  
  
 _smile_  
  
*  
  
... Koushiro  
  
... reaches  
  
out -- ??  
  
*  
  
 **R E P E A T ? _ N/Y?**  
  
*  
  
" **Y E S !!!** "  
  
*  
  
Somehow,  
  
he feels  
  
*  
  
( no,  
  
 **h e k n o w s** )  
  
*  
  
 _it's not just him_  
  
*  
  
\-- who shouts it,  
  
 **loud and clear**.  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- notes/warnings: implied (psuedo?)-deaths (???)  
> \- written December 29th, 2018 (out of order for Repeat)  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> \- "I'll Turn My Courage Into Wings", Taichi's Adventure character song, sung by his original Japanese seiyuu / voice actress, Toshiko Fujita:  
> http://spazioinwind.libero.it/credici/digimusic/megchan_lyrics/yuukiwotsubasanishite_e[1].htm  
> http://spazioinwind.libero.it/credici/digimusic/megchan_lyrics/  
> \- Toshiko Fujita passed away, very recently . . .  
> https://www.animenewsnetwork.com/news/2018-12-28/digimon-adventure-voice-actress-toshiko-fujita-passes-away/.141413  
> \- (I'm still honestly kind of torn up about it... ;;)  
> \- please rest peacefully, Fujita-san. 


	29. 29 (Code)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes:  
> \- in this chapter, Repeat-verse!Taishiros  
> \- advised to read sometime after the 'main' 'storyline' ('ending' in Ch. 22)  
> \- this chapter is mostly safe (fluff?) but with a touch of underlying angst?  
> \- still, 'after' Ch. 22!...  
> \- word count: 500

Taichi blinks rapidly at the sight before him.  
  
Koushiro is --  
  
\-- Using his laptop.  
  
(  ** _The Pibook_** )  
  
Taichi hadn't realized before now (because, they had been so wrapped up in other things...) but this is  _the first time--_  
  
_He's really, actually **seen** Koushiro use his laptop -- in **this** \--_  
  
( _ **World** \--_)  
  
Koushiro's eyes are alight with determination.  
  
His entire  _being_  seems to be  **glowing**.  
  
" _ **A-ha**_...!"  
  
\-- Koushiro exclaims it in his excitement.  
  
(  _As if warm and familiar_ )  
  
"Koushiro,  _what_ \--" Taichi tries to ask.  
  
(In all honesty, they were _supposed_ to be going -- to bed, but--)  
  
"Taichi-san!  _The **code**_ \--!" Koushiro exclaims -- tries to explain.  
  
" _Code_...?"  
  
"The -- ' **Digital** ' **code**! From my -- dre --  ** _memories_**  -- I've **deciphered it**!!"  
  
Koushiro's hands are  _flying_  across his keyboard --  
  
"If I can  _analyze_  this code more -- maybe we can  _figure out_  --  _what's causing the..._!!"  
  
Taichi's eyes widen despite his earlier sleepiness (and slight bewilderment).  
  
(  _OH_ )  
  
He continues to watch as Koushiro mutters to himself, talking of digital code, of huge batteries, of --  
  
"If  _that_  one means  _that_ , then  _this one_  means..."  
  
Koushiro works for a while longer -- when suddenly --  
  
\-- His face falls.  
  
Taichi wakes up a bit more.  
  
"...What happened?" He asks softly.  
  
Koushiro seems to have finally deflated as he looks back up, a look of apology written all over his face.  
  
"...I really thought I had it, Taichi-san, but... some critical parts of it are still  _missing_..."  
  
"Missing?"  
  
"Parts of the -- code. I figured some parts out, but the rest..."  
  
It seems obvious --  
  
Koushiro can't quite use it yet to figure out  _that_.  
  
Taichi lets out a breath, then puts on a small grin.  
  
"Hey, it's ok..."  
  
Koushiro looks unsure.  
  
"...You were doing great!"  
  
Taichi tries to encourage him.  
  
(  _He hates seeing Koushiro look upset._ )  
  
Koushiro still seems unconvinced, but eventually...  
  
He relaxes. Gives Taichi a calm smile, now.  
  
"...I'll do my best."  
  
(  _To remember. To help figure it out--_ )  
  
Taichi nods -- moving to put an arm on Koushiro's shoulder.  
  
"I mean it -- it's really great!"  
  
(' _That you're doing so much for..._ ')  
  
Koushiro smiles a bit more.  
  
Taichi smiles back.  
  
...Gently guides Koushiro to the bed, after Koushiro reaches over to close his laptop.  
  
*  
  
(  _ **The laptop that had gone completely unused since he came here -- until now**_ )  
  
*  
  
( _It's hard -- extremely hard -- to go back to sleep each night, but--_ )  
  
( _If they're together..._ )  
  
( _Maybe...._ )  
  
Koushiro clenches Taichi's hand underneath the covers.  
  
( _Taichi clenches Koushiro's hand back._ )  
  
*  
  
(  _There was a reason he had been avoiding the Pibook._ )  
  
( _\-- Not for too long before he met **that one** , anyway._)  
  
( _But the dreams --_ **memories** _\-- **nightmares** \--_)  
  
( _...They were very wearing._ )  
  
( _Even if he didn't quite remember them -- or even, that he had them, to begin with--_ )  
  
( _He hadn't noticed, but they were steadily **wearing down** \-- his body -- **himself** \--_)  
  
( _ **He had even begun avoiding his Pibook** \--_)  
  
( _Until suddenly, ' **that one** '  drifted into the room_)  
  
( _ **His eyes** had **locked** onto the other immediately, catching the **swaying motion** of--_ )  
  
( _He hadn't quite remembered before all this, but still, ' **that one** '--_)  
  
( _ **That gorgeous boy** with that  **wild hair** and--_ )  
  
(  _\-- **His goggles** \-- _)  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- this chapter was originally written May 20, 2018  
> \- not long after "Bokura no Mirai" / "Our Future" ended ? (aha)  
> \- sometime after "finishing" the "initial" storyline, I began posting some "fic notes" for Repeat over on my tumblr; "izzyizumi".  
> They can be viewed here (in chronological order within those other posts), if you're interested:  
> http://izzyizumi.tumblr.com/tagged/fic:-repeat/chrono  
> \- I also made some more amvs! (more recently tagged / if you remove the "chrono" at the end of the link)  
> \- this is mostly in general since I was thinking this since a long time ago too, but...  
> \- If you ever read or liked "Repeat", I'm really grateful.  
> I've been working on it very hard since the beginning of last year... "Ch. 22", for example, was one of the very first in depth things I wrote for it, and that was way back on April 15th. I came up with the initial few chapters even a bit earlier than that.  
> \- So... if "Repeat" touched you in any way, I'm truly grateful. And if you enjoyed it at all, I'd love to hear about it...!!


	30. 30 (Train)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- verse: Adv!Repeat-verse  
> \- warnings: referenced 'death' of . multiple characters, heavy blood/injuries implied  
> \- ..... I ' M S O R R Y  
> \- this was originally posted along with a small newer AMV "edit" over here, about 5 months ago [around August-September 2018]:  
> http://izzyizumi.tumblr.com/post/176413660920/  
> \- THE SONG THAT INSPIRED IT IS VERY BEAUTIFUL THOUGH (IF HEARTBREAKING ;;) ?  
> \- i'm seriously sorry  
> \- word count: 674 (short ficlet)

Koushiro  ** _felt_**  it,  _moments_  before it actually happened –  
  
(the sudden, barely-there  _vibrations_ , both physically, and)  
  
(the  _electric shock like effect that ran through his mind_ ) –  
  
– (as if he was  _supposed_  to recall something  ** _incredibly important_** ) –  
  
– and right away,  _he **knew**  what was about to happen_.  
  
The  **clanging of the _metal_**  sounded …  
  
… as the subway car they were travelling in collapsed around them.  
  
“ **TAICHI- _SA_** –!”  
  
– he can’t even finish shouting his ( **best friend’s** ) name in time before –  
  
The subway car’s lighting plunges into  
  
 **total darkness**.  
  
It’s deathly  **silent**.  
  
He  **can’t hear**   _anything_  –  
  
anything, except the light, barely-there taps and clicks of  _things like_  –  
  
(“No”)  
  
He already  **knows**.  
  
 **The Digimon** , their  ** _partners_** , that were  _with them_ , are all  _gone_ –  
  
–  **Deleted** , in the ( _digital-induced_ ) collision.  
  
All his  _friends_ , seated on  _either side of him_  –  
  
– Koushiro chokes a bit, squeezing his eyes shut.  
  
( _Even though it’s already totally dark_.)  
  
Everyone was – seemingly – flung about rather haphazardly.  
  
 _Jou_ , being so tall and gangly, might have  _fallen from his seat_  –  
  
– Koushiro can’t feel him.  
  
( _He can’t feel Takeru, either_  –)  
  
( _perhaps Takeru was instead curled up against_  –)  
  
– In fact, since  _Koushiro had been seated in **the middle** ,_  
  
 _between everyone else_  –  
  
–  _only_ **Koushiro himself**   ** _had_** –  
  
He slips down a bit, having fallen a bit from his seat, himself.  
  
 **… His legs are burning.**  
  
Torn up – by the  ** _glass shards_**  that had flown  _everywhere_.  
  
His  **Pibook**  – from the collission, when Koushiro’s back hit the seat  _hard_ ,  
  
it was probably  
  
( **ruined** )  
  
Koushiro chokes a bit, again, forcing back a  _cry_.  
  
“….”  
  
“… **Ta** – _i_ – _ **chi**_ – **s** –”  
  
He grasps around, a bit, trying to  _reach_  –  
  
–  **to reach**  –  
  
–  **A hand – finger – brushes against his own.**  
  
Koushiro’s breath catches, again –  
  
“ **Kou** – ** _shiro_** –”  
  
Taichi’s breathing is raspy, hard, as he  _struggles to breath_.  
  
Koushiro can’t even  _see him_  – nor his expression.  
  
He can only  _feel_  –  
  
The  _light brush_  of Taichi’s knuckles, a single finger  _curled around his own_  –  
  
– The slightest brush of Taichi’s wild – but now-limp,  _wet_  –  
  
– hair, against Koushiro’s own forehead.  
  
“– **chi**.– _san_ –?!”  
  
Koushiro shakes a bit – he can’t believe Taichi’s even –  
  
–  _still alive_.  
  
( **For now.** )  
  
“…’ **Shiro**. You –  _have to_ –”  
  
Taichi breaths in hard – exhales.  
  
“–  **Get**  –  **away**  – from  _here_.  _Run_ –”  
  
Koushiro shakes his head just slightly, even though he  _ **knows**_  – but –  
  
“I – I can’t, my – le–”  
  
(“Legs”)  
  
(“ _I can’t move my legs_  [ **to run** ]”)  
  
([“ **I can’t leave _y_ –**”])  
  
“…”  
  
Taichi is quiet.  
  
The silence ticks on.  
  
They can’t hear a single sound, aside from the –  _same_.  
  
“…They’re – after –  _ **you**_ ,”  
  
“…aren’t… they…?”  
  
(Who is “they”?)  
  
(Koushiro …  **has an idea**. But.)  
  
“You…” Koushiro starts – but.  
  
“… **I** …  ** _know_**.” Taichi whispers.  
  
“…”  
  
“…(I) – _Think_.”  
  
Koushiro blinks rapidly.  
  
His right leg twitches  
  
 _but it **burns**_  –  
  
 _the **pain** , it’s  **unbearable**_  –  
  
“…Go.” Taichi whispers.  
  
(“I  **know** ”)  
  
(“you can do it”)  
  
(“ _you can save **everyone**_ ”)  
  
(“ **all of us** ”)  
  
(“ **Koushiro, you’re _amazing_** ”)  
  
(“and  _even if_  you [ **c a n ’–** ]–”)  
  
(“ **It’s ok.** ”)  
  
(“ **God** ,  _it’s o_ –…”)  
  
Koushiro can’t hear the words through his tears.  
  
Taichi’s extended finger, brushing against his hand, falls.  
  
…  
  
…  
  
Koushiro lies there. For a moment.  
  
Takes in a sharp gulp of air –  
  
– Uses the remaining strength he has to push himself up off the metal floor.  
  
He can hear  **the ticking of the clock**  in his head –  
  
–  _He’s running out of time._  
  
If he doesn’t  **move** , the sparking subway car will –  
  
–  **explode**  
  
– it’ll all be over.  
  
(“No”)  
  
(“ **NO** ”)  
  
(…..)  
  
(…In  _some parallel timeline, somewhere_  –)  
  
(… perhaps  _Taichi’s_   **Crest**  
  
[of  **Courage** ]  
  
lies in  _the palm of one of his hands_.–)  
  
Koushiro tries to keep himself steady –  
  
 _lifts his (other) hand_  –  
  
…  
  
…  
  
 **R E P E A T ?_  
  
N/Y?_**  
  
–  
  
(The cursor blinks only once.)  
  
He draws it.  
  
 **_Y  
  
E  
  
S**  
  
~  
  
The world breaks apart.  
  
~  
  
-  
  
~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- chronologically this is actually a /really interesting place/ of the fic’s "timeline" because like. the major bulk of it happens somewhere /after this/ ??? (if you. read the full outline. yeah)  
> \- I realized too. they’re in /a subway car/. if the loops were happening /here/  
> – y e a h  
> \- (I’m sorry Koushiro)
> 
> \- (I also may have partially [/extremely/ vaguely, more the 'feeling'] been side inspired by a certain scene in the anime "Angel Beats" ?:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHMFvqx_EnU  
> \- which also gives /way/ too many similar feelings even if it’s been a long time since I watched it just. /why that/)  
> \- (ok too the etc. Chosen and etc. /don’t have that happen at the end/ but)  
> \- (warning: character 'death' and blood/injuries for that scene ;;)
> 
> \- tbh I’m pretty uncertain still if I want /Koushiro to hold on to Taichi’s Crest too/  
> \- but considering /Taichi gets Koushiro’s/ in the first major “scene” of the “loops” (...Ch. 3)  
> \- and it might have something to do with the plot overall (for Taichi anyhow)  
> \- maybe ??? (in some timeline ?? if not all of them ?? ?)  
> \- do the Crests even actually /help/ them at all ?? ? who knows  
> \- ok but seriously Koushiro needed an alternative “method” either way if /his Pibook/ gets obliterated which likely happens many. many times


	31. 31 (Dorm)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- verse: Adv!Repeat-verse ... .. + ... ... ???????  
> \- warnings: implied character 'death's, heavy blood/injuries, angst  
> \- this part is split into two different "sections" though  
> \- the first "section" is "newer" (originally written August 25, 2018)  
> \- I AM SO SORRY  
> \- word count: 407 (extended drabble / ficlet)

Taichi Yagami  
  
wakes  
  
up.  
  
it's dark  
  
(  _it's dark_  )  
  
*  
  
it hurts  
  
(  _it hurts_  )  
  
(  _god, it--_  )  
  
*  
  
darkness, everywhere  
  
but,  
  
also,  
  
his eyes  
  
adjusting to the shadows --  
  
slowly, the scene comes in.  
  
*  
  
Koushiro  
  
*  
  
KOUSHIRO  
  
*  
  
Taichi holds back a choked cry.  
  
Shakily breaths in --  
  
*  
  
Twitches --  
  
( tries to move -- )  
  
*  
  
\-- crawls  
  
(on hands and knees)  
  
\-- towards  
  
*  
  
his best f r i e --  
  
*  
  
there's blood  
  
*  
  
Taichi can't see his face  
  
*  
  
only the edges  
  
of the spikes of his  
  
red  
  
hair.  
  
*  
  
but  
  
*  
  
Taichi  
  
slowly moves a hand  
  
to cup  
  
the side of Koushiro's face.  
  
*  
  
(blood)  
  
*  
  
"I'm sorry"  
  
"I'm sorry"  
  
" **I'm _sorry_ \--**"  
  
*  
  
not calm  
  
but  
  
softly  
  
*  
  
he reaches for  
  
it.  
  
*  
  
gently  
  
takes the Crest  
  
off  
  
Koushiro --  
  
*  
  
He can't see it.  
  
*  
  
(too dark)  
  
(colors  
  
all of them  
  
dulled)  
  
*  
  
but  
  
*  
  
"Koushiro"  
  
*  
  
"wait for me"  
  
"  **I'll save you**  "  
  
*  
  
( "  **I promise**  " )  
  
*  
  
(until Taichi can move,  
  
again--)  
  
*  
  
Taichi  
  
forces himself up  
  
*  
  
pushes through  
  
into the darkness --  
  
*  
  
Koushiro  
  
*  
  
(lying there)  
  
*  
  
plunges  
  
*  
  
into a deep  
  
digital void  
  
*  
  
the remnants of his  
  
(injuries)  
  
slowly  
  
disappearing  
  
*  
  
His eyes  
  
(were)  
  
c l o s e d.  
  
*  
  
He  
  
opens  
  
his  
  
eyes  
  
*  
  
and stares  
  
at it.  
  
*  
  
**R E P E A T?_**  
  
*  
  
that  
  
Crest  
  
of  
  
Courage  
  
(tucked safely  
  
into the palm of his hands ?? ???)  
  
(or was it in his--)  
  
("pocket"--)  
  
(on his--)  
  
( c h e s t )  
  
\--  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
  
[  _a college_.  ** _?_**  ]  
  
How many days ( ** _nights_** ) did he spend, here?  
  
Spending all that time here,  
  
staring at this room’s walls –  
  
Taichi stares (… silently) into the open ( ** _dark_** ) dorm room.  
  
(  _of which he – was – the only occupant_  )  
  
Moves forward –  
  
–  _immediately grabs a bag_  
  
and begins packing  
  
( ~~the very few things he needs~~ )  
  
( … his  
  
**football,**  
  
_too_ )  
  
(he slings the duffle bag over his shoulder.)  
  
(the door  
  
closes behind him.)  
  
*  
  
The dorm room stays dark.  
  
*  
  
s o m e w h e r e  
  
remaining  
  
( ~~hidden~~ ) ( _ ~~from view~~_ )  
  
[ _even his own?_ ]  
  
**a Crest**  
  
of  
  
*  
  
**K??–n??.–o—-w??x?x—-l?x—e???x—dGE–**  
  
*  
  
**_gleams_**  
  
in its  
  
**tag**  
  
*  
  
_That’s a_  
  
“  **j o k e**  ” ,  
  
_right?_  
  
*  
  
( “ **It isn’t.** ” )  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- these were originally written / posted out of order on tumblr with just the "second portion" here (about 4 months ago, September-October):  
> https://koushirouizumi.tumblr.com/post/177996245083/  
> \- if you’ve been reading the fic already you’ll probably notice a bunch of “connecting” things (maybe??)
> 
> \- I imagine “Knowledge” is hidden much in a way like “Light” was


	32. 32 (R E A D Y?_)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- verse: ???????  
> \- word count: 329 (extended drabble / ficlet)  
> \- warnings: implied 'death' (i ' m. sorry)  
> -  
> \- R E A D Y ? _

[  **?? ??? ??? ? *** …. *** .-. .** ]  
  
They’re much older  
  
( ~~not that much older~~ )  
  
(still so  _young_ –)  
  
( even if they’re  **a d u l** – )  
  
*  
  
[ adults. ]  
  
*  
  
Izumi Koushiro  
  
is facing  
  
a wide open  
  
 **D i g i t a l**  
  
 _dimension_  
  
before him  
  
Taichi is  
  
somewhere  
  
just behind him.  
  
(  _Not too far away_ )  
  
 **R E P E A T?_**  
  
_  
  
_  
  
the  
  
huge white letters  
  
before them.  
  
*  
  
(“ _K o u s h i r o –_ ”)  
  
(“we have to”)  
  
(“ _to protect the Digital World_ –”)  
  
[ “ **s a v e o u r W o r l d** –” ]  
  
[  **e v e r y o n e**  ]  
  
(“this is”)  
  
(“ **all I can do** ”)  
  
*  
  
(“…  **a n y m o r e**  ”)  
  
*  
  
( “  **R E A D Y?_**  ” )  
  
*  
  
 _Koushiro’s not even sure he can hear_  
  
himself  
  
 _speak_  
  
(  **is he speaking?** )  
  
(  _does he_  
  
 **have**  
  
 _to_  – )  
  
*  
  
Taichi’s  
  
hand  
  
 **slips into  
  
his own**  
  
*  
  
The world breaks apart.  
  
*  
  
Immediately surrounded by  **black**  
  
*  
  
 _Falling_ ,  **falling** ,  
  
 ** _f a l l i n g_**  –  
  
*  
  
[  **c ? ? ? ? ? ?**  ]  
  
Koushiro Izumi  
  
opens his eyes.  
  
*  
  
[  **? ? ? n ?**  ]  
  
“I’m not very –  
  
[  **c o u r a g e o u s**  ]”  
  
*  
  
staring down  
  
at  
  
 **a Crest**  
  
*  
  
[  **this is w _RoNG_** – ]  
  
*  
  
“… _You are!!_ ”  
  
Koushiro looks up –  
  
 **Taichi-san’s**  –  
  
– directly  
  
focused on him  
  
brown eyes  _gleaming_  –  
  
(“If  **anyone’s** _worthy_ of it,  
  
 ** _Koushiro_** ,  
  
 **it’s** –!!”)  
  
*  
  
… Koushiro  
  
softly smiles.  
  
*  
  
[  **it’s still wrong**  ]  
  
[  ~~~~ _they won’t survive_  
  
 _here_  ]  
  
[  **but** ]  
  
*  
  
[  _like a comfort_  ]  
  
*  
  
[ he holds it close. ]  
  
*  
  
[  **the C r e s t o f C o u r a g e glows.**  ]  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- aaaaand the opening of the portion ("[ ?? ??? ??? ? *** …. *** .-. . ]") - this was originally posted with the chapter /before/  
> -  
> is basically part of the “ thoughts ” that also led to this entire thing  
> \- it was actually out of order this whole time  
> \- I’m sorry  
> \- /AUs of AUs of AUs of/ –
> 
> \- I have a lot of thoughts on mute!Koushiro / selectively mute!Koushiro too
> 
> \- …. and Taichi


	33. 33 (Summertime)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- verse: ???????? ?????? ??? ?? ? ???? ?  
> \- i'm sorr----  
> \- warnings: 'death' references, angst, .....???  
> \- inspiration:  
> (from Kagerou Project:) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_pDiCmuK-I  
> \- basically a songfic (I tried to make it actually good though??? --- um)  
> \- the music video linked spoils basically the end of Kagepro's Music Route / Main Route too so uh  
> \- if you want to just listen without watching that's fine too!! (bc songfic... aha... ;;)  
> \- originally written: June 20, 2018 ("Code" was May 20 - not long before it)  
> \- word count: 1244 (with lyrics), about 724 (without lyrics bc... they're not mine aha...)  
> \- ... i'm really sorry

*

_With yesterday and today’s good weather_

*

The boy with **dark red hair** and **pure black eyes**  
sits quietly,

[  _ **a l o n e**_ ]

typing rhythemically on the

... **computer**

sitting carefully on his lap.

*

_I was watching the huge clouds_

*

\-- The boy looks up at the sky  
blinking in the bright **sunlight**.

*

"  **Hey, Koushiro ?** "

_In another world_ ,

a boy with **wild brown hair**

and

[  _ **g o g g l e s**_ ]

reflecting the sunlight

... lies beside him.

They're looking up at the sky.

[Watching the clouds.]

"...Yes, Taichi-san?"

*

_Weather so fine it’s annoying_

*

"...What do ( _y o u_ ) you think's **up there**?"

*

_I slowly closed my eyes_

*

The red headed boy closes his eyes.

...Opens them again, slightly --  
Narrowed, blinks --

...Closes them again,  
lowering his head.

*

_"That" can't seem to be  
Recalled that easily_

*

"... **I don't know**."

*

_I was drowning in the fact  
That I was getting older_

*

\-- The boy's hands rest on the sides of his computer.

*

( **In another world** )

**Koushiro** _laughs_ , _**brightly**_ , as he walks besides _his chattering and laughing friends_ \--

(-- _and_ **Taichi-san**.)

He's still wearing formal wear _from work_ ,

\- But _his scarred legs_ underneath continue to walk,

\--  ** _Forward_**.

( _His Pibook_ tucked under his arm,  
as he **beams** up at **Taichi-san**.)

*

_With an adult-like plan  
Start a mysterious signal_

*

A clenching of his arm.

Koushiro looks up.

Taichi-san has a particular _look_ on his face.

*

_"Let's go, **today is war** again"  
Opposing the enemy, we took each other's hands_

*

"... **Let's go**."

"...Ok."

*

He slips his hand into Taichi's,

*

so gently one might not even notice.

*

(...It's noticed.)

*

_Unreasonableness is natural  
Being forced to be alone_

*

The small redheaded boy walks, alone,

Through the sunset-filled hallways of his school,

_Pibook_  tucked carefully underneath his arm.

*

_The **me** that lost my way,  
was about to become **melancholic**_

*

He closes his shadowed eyes.

Moving further into the shadows.

*

_Parting the tall grass_

*

He pushes back the tall grass.

...Taichi-san is there.

He's holding a strange-looking, _pink_ \--

Koushiro blinks, pauses --

Watches him for a long, uninterrupted moment.

*

_Glaring at the blotted sun_

*

Koushiro rubs the sweat off his forehead --

Taichi almost seems to **_glare_** at the bright sun above them.

They push on, through the desert.

*

_You, said this_

_" **If you're lonely** , **then come with me** "_

*

Taichi hands him a pamphlet --

Koushiro stares at it for a long, long moment.

*

(  _ **In another world**_ )

" _ **Come**_ \-- ... _there_!"

( ... _With me_! )

**A beaming smile**.

*

Koushiro smiles.

*

_The noisiness knocked_

*

He walks down a darkened hallway of his home.

\-- Suddenly,  _noise_ , as he looks up, into the --

[  _a **crackling** noise_  -- ]

_**darkness** , _**before him**  --

[  _an even more darkened hallway_  -- ]

*

_Even the feelings_

*

Outside [ _his apartment_ ],

the **sound of** \--

[  _ **e x p l o s i o n s**  _]

*

_That came into my mind deflated_

*

**Hugging his adoptive parents** \--

*

Smiling at --

[  _ **Taichi-san**_  ]

*

_" **Is this an i l l u s i o n ?** "_

*

...He closes his eyes.

Tries to not --

**_Break_**.

*

_Gathered at the secret base_

*

A park.

Or --

_A grassy hill_ ?

In one side, the sunlight filters through the trees.

(  _onto Taichi-san's face_  )

[  _"Konorebi"_  ]

In the other --

(  _Blue skies_  )

*

_"It's so fun"_

*

... It's  ** _not, really._**

... But  _what **is** , is **being with**_  --

*

_Recalling those fun and simple days_

*

... Walking beside Taichi-san.

(  **beside**  )

*

(  _and not **behind**_  )

*

_And let's talk about them_

*

They don't always talk about ...

... But, at least, they're with --

(  ** _each other_**  )

*

(  ** _maybe someday, they'll ..._**  )

*

_The airplane flies past the clouds  
Crying, "it's so bright"_

*

... A small trolley car.

*

_What face did you make?_

*

Koushiro blinks suddenly, looks down --

\-- at his (  _ **Pibook**_ ) --

*

**_I wonder why I can't_ remember _?_**

*

... Closes his eyes.

A frustrated look on his face.

He shuts the lid.

*

Koushiro faces the dark blue sky before him.

*

Holding his Pibook under one arm,

Other hand supporting it.

*

He turns around --

*

( _No one is there_.)

*

... The blue sky darkens.

*

_This painful reality  
Runs past me at a quick pace_

*

... The same trolley car,  _covered with vines_.

*

_The todays I chose is ordinary  
And almost about to crumble_

*

"... _Hey_ ,  ** _Taichi-san_**?"

*

_Yesterday's today is an overtime game_

*

**Playing football** , during the _slowly darkening sunset_.

_**Koushiro watching**_ , with _a gentle smile_.

*

(  ** _Taichi can feel Koushiro's gaze_**  )

*

_**Even adults** are **cowardly**_

*

Taichi looks over slightly in surprise.

(  _ **Koushiro** , this time, **is asking**...?_  )

*

(  ** _in yet another world_**  )

(  _walking home from work -- from **college**_  )

(  _" Hey, **Taichi-san ?** " _)

*

_**I seem to have noticed somehow** ,_

*

( " _ **Taichi-san is happy"**_   )

*

_That it had become right now_

*

"... _ **Yeah**  _ **?** "

" ** _I don't know_**  -- ...what's '  **up there** '."

*

_An idea of the spinning "world",_

*

Koushiro is quiet.

_Taichi reaches over --_

_Moving his hand --_

*

_Under the withering sun,  
The **heat haze** _ **wavered:**

*

" Hey,  ** _Koushiro ?_**  ..."

*

" _It's **ok -- if you don't know everything.**_ "

*

_**" Don't forget,** _ **come on** _**, let's go** _ **forward** _**. "** _

*

_With an impatient feeling, many times over,_

*

_Yamato_ 's arrived -- _just on time_.

... Koushiro watches.

*

_I had dreamed about tomorrow_

*

Piemon is defeated.

*

**_Koushiro is so happy he could cry_ **

( _but he holds it in._ )

*

_To the **world with a future** , not going back_

_"Let's change it ourselves."_

*

**The Chosen Children _march forward._**

*

_"Remember, it **ended**_

*

(  _ **It hasn't ended.**_  )

(  _ **not quite yet --**_  )

(  _ **that's ok, too**_  )

*

_The secret base, the adventures,_

*

_**The two worlds spin** , _ **together** _._

*

_And **the story** of **getting lost in that day**."_

*

... They still get lost -- sometimes.

*

_**The lonely gathered together** _

_The children's plan_

_Started to spin again_

*

**A pink cowgirl hat.**

Flying against the dark blue sky.

*

_"Let’s meet again, someday."_

*

Koushiro turns around.

*

_"It's so refreshing," we said to each other  
The summer sky is transparent_

*

(  _ **in another world**  _)

Koushiro, after work, brings Taichi-san close.

His scarred legs show.

*

_Breathe in so we won't cry  
Let's say "goodbye"._

*

(  _ **" Why?"**_  )

*

_Gathered at the secret base_

*

...  **The Chosen Children** [ ~~... _sans **one important person**  _~~]

_are there_ , **before him**.

_Smiling through their tears_ \--

\-- at Koushiro.

*

_The summer days that we laughed together_

*

He gapes --

\-- Takes a step forward --

\-- and another

another --

*

_" Maybe we can remember someday,_

*

A hand touches his back.

_And another --_

He looks over, wide eyed --

*

" _ **Koushiro, honey**... let's go ? _ "

*

Yoshie said.

*

_and meet again"_

*

Over his shoulder --

\--  **his adoptive parents**

_but also_

*

_**let's draw it** _

_again and again_

*

_**Taichi-san**_ motions for them to go, with a smile. [  **T A I C H I - S ----** ]

*

**_Izumi Kae_** , as well.

*

**All of them** \--

_All of them are here_ \--

_He gives out_ a _**cry**_.

*

"  ** _KAA_ -san** --  ** _TAICHI-SAN_**  --

**_OTOU--_ **

**_OKAA--_ **

**_[ s a n ] "_ **

*

[ a n d ]

"  **K o u s h i r o - h a n** "

*

"  _I'm home_ "

*

"  _ **Welcome back**_ "

*

The Digital World turns.

*

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I AM SO SORRY  
> \- (NO /I DIDN'T NEED MY HEART EITHER/)  
> (A.K.A.: I HATE THAT SERIES' MUSIC) (I ALSO HATE----/L O V E T A I S H I R O/)  
> -  
> \- (if you watched the music video though tbh I do definitely recommend watching the rest /IN ORDER/ first but)  
> \- (DO NOT imagine Taishiro with similar feeling to /the "original" Kagepro boy/ [brown haired, from KageDays parody] and the white-haired one)  
> \- (though the Taishiro /isn't/ fully based on them ok VAGUE INSPIRATIONS bc weird timeline/ages things w/those other two but just /AUGH MY FAVS/)  
> \- (ALSO DO NOT IMAGINE /ALSO KOUSHIRO/ TYPING AWAY AT THE PIBOOK DURING /THE ENTIRE THING/)  
> \- (WITH PAUSES IN BETWEEN AS HE CLOSES HIS EYES)  
> -  
> \- ... it was something like a credits scene ?  
> \- ... b u t ----  
> -  
> \- (ok in all honesty. this part. is basically.)  
> \- (literally [almost] EVERYTHING I love about Taishiro. [except. I can't fit everything. I genuinely can't])  
> \- honestly, if you've read this far, I truly am grateful. ;; ;;  
> \- I /never/ thought I'd actually get this far with a fic (it was literally the first thing I had written in /years/)  
> \- for the Taishiro fans who read and still read, it's for you. THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING TAISHIRO. PLEASE KEEP SUPPORTING THEM ;; ;;


	34. 34 (Videogame)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- post-Repeat-verse (college AU portion) !! (please read that first!!)  
> \- KIDS PLEASE DO NOT READ PAST THE LAST SECTION OF DOTS IT IS .  
> \- NSFW/RATED R IMPLIED  
> \- (itsonlyliketwosentencesbecauseIcanneverbringmyselftoactuallypostthesebut)  
> \- runs away  
> \- (YOU CAN JUST IMAGINE LIKE SOMETHING DIFFERENT BEFORE THAT IDEK-----)  
> \- word count: 303 (extended drabble / ficlet)

Taichi groans audibly, glaring hard at the bright television screen before them.  
  
A "results" screen is playing --  
  
"What is this, man--!!"  
  
Taichi glares accusingly at Koushiro, who has the biggest _~~fucking~~_   _grin_  on his face,  _what the_  --  
  
"There's no way you just did that! You're cheating because you're a genius!! I never lose at Smash!"  
  
Taichi fake-complains, but they both know he doesn't really mean it ( _ok, maybe he does_ ) but he vents his frustration --  
  
Koushiro _calmly, smoothly_ restarts the stage, that ~~fucking~~   _grin_  still on his face.  
  
Taichi  _dives_  for his controller.  
  
"It's  **only natural** , Taichi-san.  _A genius never even has to cheat_ \--"  
  
Taichi grits his teeth as their fighters fly across the screen --  _Koushiro is obliterating him--_  
  
( . . . )  
  
Taichi smashes the buttons down before he even realizes he's doing so.  
  
The glowing ball is hit, light enveloping his character --  
  
He can feel Koushiro **_STARING_**  at him --  
  
Taichi  _whoops_  as he sends Koushiro's character _flying_.  
  
"Haha!  **Take THAT**!! I found your  _weak point_!! --"  
  
The next thing he knows, his character has been **_BLASTED_**  off the screen, falling into the distance.  
  
Taichi gapes.  
  
"WHAT THE--?!"  
  
"Looks like  **I win**  -- Taichi- _ **san**._ "  
  
Koushiro says it  _infuriatingly_ , that same ~~goddamn~~   _grin_  on his face.  
  
" _Oh_ , **NOW** _**you're gonna**_ _get it_ \-- !! "  
  
Taichi _leaps_ at him and Koushiro yelps, soft laughs escaping him.  
  
"--Because I already know  _your_   **weak point** ,  ** _Koushiro_**."  
  
Koushiro immediately turns  _bright red_ , furious blush (and equally furious ? _**glare**_ ?) threatening to overtake his face --  
  
" We'll see about  _that_ ,  **Taichi** **- _SAN._** "  
  
...  _Shit._  
  
(If Koushiro wasn't metaphorically  _DROPKICKING HIM INTO THE STRATOSPHERE_   ** _before_ , he certainly was  _now_.** )  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.

.

.

.

.

.

.  
  
  
( _Taichi never knew just how good it'd sound to hear his name gasped out in **a million different ways** with  **-san**  still attached._)  
  
  
( _... Especially not when his **pretty-gorgeous-beautiful boyfriend**  was on top of him [  ~~commanding from the bottom~~  ? ],  **scars and all**._ )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> \- TAICHI-SAN YOU ARE AN IDIOT  
> \- TAICHI VOICE ('SHI----------')  
> \- Koushiro voice ('I win.')  
> \- and this is more why Taichi is (maybe) an idiot  
> \- I propose calling the phenomenon of Taichi-san . being like this as 'Taichi-san.exe'  
> \- Taichi: ('-------------------------') ('-------------------------') ('-------------------------')  
> \- I MEAN THAT ASIDE I THINK IT'S OBVIOUS THEY WERE PLAYING SMASH TOO BUT  
> \- which characters do they play ?? honestly who even knows anymore ALL OF THEM  
> \- no I am not distracting you from the Taichi-san.exe'ng  
> \- this was originally written May 14 2k18, about two days before 'Code'. Does it come before? After? Before or after 'Summertime'? who knows  
> \- it takes me literally near a full year to post those two lines  
> \- help


	35. 35 (Cards)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- warnings: implied (off-screen / referenced) 'deaths'  
> \- you're mostly safe this chapter though since it's mainly just references  
> \- i'm still sorry  
> \- word count: 674  
> \- verse: Adv!Repeat (Adventure); advised to read the rest of the main "fic" first, or at least up to Ch. 21 if not 22  
> \- Adventure episode 28 (Vamdemon's gate + Cards)  
> \- originally written: May 16 2018 (out of order for 'Repeat')

Koushiro stares down hesitantly at _the cards_ laid before him.  
  
_**Everyone is watching him**_ \--  
  
( '  _What do I do? **What do I do??**_ ' )  
  
(' _If I went **the same route as before** \--_')  
  
Before, he had been _concerned with_...  
  
_**Getting them all to safety** , but also meeting their ... **expectations**..._  
  
_Not wanting to **let everyone down**... not wanting to **put anyone's life at risk**..._  
  
_**Believing in his own abilities** ..._  
  
_Because_ **Taichi-san _particularly had... encouraged him..._**  
  
Koushiro, of course, _still wants to get everyone to safety_.  
  
He still wants ( **needs** ) to _meet their expectations_ \--  
  
( **He knows he will, _just_...** ) --  
  
He still doesn't want to _let everyone down_...  
  
_He still doesn't want to put anyone's life at risk..._  
  
_But..._  
  
( ' _ **If I went the same route as before**... it may turn out **exactly the same**..._ ' )  
  
( ' _Or, it'd be **modified**  slightly...' _)  
  
( ' _Last time... what happened was...'_ )  
  
( ' _Hadn't I..._ ' )  
  
**_Sacrified himself... once again... for..._**  
  
_Except that -- last time -- had seemed...  
  
**Particularly**  more  **intense**...  
  
A **final battle** , right...?  
  
**The last of the** \--_  
  
Koushiro frowns hard, concentrating.  
  
_Shifting_ through the --  ** _sensations_**  --  ** _memories_**  --  
  
  
(  _They had_ **survived** _**the metal city** \-- _**thankfully _, thankfully_** _\--_ )  
  
(  _They had been **defeating** the **Dark Masters** \-- _**the last one approached them** _\--_ )  
  
  
( _ **Taichi-san had** \-- _**told him to** _\--_ )  
  
  
...His eyes fly open.  
  
  
_**The truth is, he remembers everything.  
**_  
  
Even if he shifts through those feelings --  
  
He doesn't particularly  _need_  to --  
  
  
_**But strategy requires focus, after all**_  --  
  
  
\--  ** _Taichi-san_**  is  _looking_  at him... oddly.  
  
  
Koushiro's breath catches in his throat.  
  
Taichi's eyebrows are furrowed, just slightly, as he gazes at Koushiro.  
  
_Just slightly_ furrowed enough that  ** _Koushiro notices -- immediately_**.  
  
  
( '... _I have to hurry._ ' )  
  
( ' _...If I try to **play it safe** , again... take... **the original path**..._ ' )  
  
  
(' _But..._ **the time before** _had been -- one of..._ **the worst** _..._ ' )  
  
  
**_Koushiro doesn't know if he can --  
  
\-- defeat that path.  
_**  
  
( ' _Is it possible they can...?_ ' )  
  
  
Maybe -- _just maybe_ \-- there was still _a shred of hope_ \--  
  
Koushiro quickly tries to force away the tears.  
  
  
_The others can't notice.  
  
**Taichi-san can't notice.  
**_  
  
... _Koushiro's scared_ .  
  
So terribly, terribly **scared**.  
  
_If he chooses wrong, they'll fail_ \--  
  
(   _A g a i n_ ) --  
  
But,  _he has to choose --  
_  
  
...He feels Taichi-san's gaze on him.  
  
_**He makes a decision.**_  
  
  
*  
  
Taichi frowns down hard, at the cards lying before him.  
  
...He's been having a strange feeling.  
  
**_Ever since he chose Koushiro_**  --  
  
\-- Everything has seemed so...  
  
(  _F a m i l i a r ?_ )  
  
His heart thumps in his chest.  
  
Koushiro is watching him.  
  
Expectantly.  
  
An encouraging, pleased smile on his face.  
  
( "  _ **I've always believed** in Taichi-san since **before this** , in any case. _" )  
  
... _What had Koushiro meant?_  
  
' Before this '? Like... since the football group...?  
  
_Had Koushiro really, since all the way back then_ \--?  
  
Taichi mentally shakes his head.  
  
No way. There's no way, right?  
  
_**No way Koushiro had -- since back then --  
**_  
  
\-- His eyes widen.  
  
Just slightly.  
  
  
...Koushiro is staring at him.  
  
  
\-- Koushiro blinks once.  
  
  
The same smile on his face.  
  
  
All at once --  
  
Taichi almost _**gasps**_ , but holds it together, somehow --  
  
All at once --  
  
  
_**A barrage of sensations -- memories -- emotions--  
******_  
  
He would have cried out, if he were able to.  
  
  
_**He knows he can't.  
**_  
  
_**If he did, Koushiro would**_ **notice** _ **, and he'd screw everything up -- again --  
**_  
  
...He holds it together.  
  
  
Prays -- wills _his racing heart_ to calm down --  
  
\-- But he's not quite calming just yet --  
  
  
...Koushiro is still smiling.  
  
  
A certain look on his face --  
  
  
**_As if he has total faith in Taichi in this very moment--  
_**  
  
...Taichi forces away the tears that threaten to spill.  
  
  
(  _He doesn't know what Koushiro sees in him._ )  
  
  
Sure, they had all encouraged him -- explained why --  
  
Because he's 'the leader' -- he keeps them all together, they rely on him --  
  
  
But Koushiro --  
  
( ' ** _I've believed in Taichi-san since before this, in any case._** ' )  
  
  
\--  ** _Why?_**  
  
_Even since back then--?_  
  
**_Why?  
_**  
  
**_Koushiro_**  is  _looking_  at him... oddly.  
  
Just slightly oddly.  
  
_But slightly enough_  --  
  
**_Taichi_**  --  
  
  
*  
  
('... _All right_ ')  
  
*  
  
**_Taichi makes a decision._**  
  
*  
  
_Taichi flips the card around_. _  
  
A huge grin now on his face_.  
  
*  
  
**Koushiro's eyes fly open in surprise--**  
  
*  
  
_**The gate is opening --**_  
  
*  
  
**R E P E A T?_  
**  
**N/Y?_**  
  
*  
  
**_I t ' s n o t G o m a m o n ' s c a r d ._**  
  
*  
  
(  _But, maybe... just maybe, they can..._ )  
  
(  _Make it...?_ )  
  
*  
  
(    _'  No.  '_ )  
  
(  _I t ' s i m p o s s i b l e_ )  
  
(  _E v e n n o w --_ )  
  
*  
  
**_Y**  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I'M SORRY KOUSHIRO ; ;; ;;  
> \- so yeah this  
> \- gate  
> \- is  
> \- I M P O R T A N T  
> \- I'M SORRY TAICHI ;;


	36. 36 (Chosen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- verse: post-Repeat-verse (college AU); post-Ch. 22 (please read up to at least there first!)  
> \- word count: 415  
> \- notes: /the Chosen/.  
> \- (for once, this chapter is safe...!!)

" **Kido Jou**. I'm a--"  
  
  
("-- **Doctor** ", Taichi and Koushiro's minds both finish _at once_.)  
  
  
"Doctor. It's, uh, nice to meet you?"  
  
  
Jou awkwardly shifts, blinks, obviously tries to look at them but nervously looks away instead.  
  
  
...Koushiro smiles gently, bowing, and draws Jou's attention back onto him.  
  
(  _... **He** missed Jou-san, too. _ )  
  
(  _The ' **other him** '. _ )  
  
  
" **Izumi Koushiro**. I work in Archaeology."  
  
  
Jou's eyebrows shoot up in surprise --  
  
  
"It's very nice to meet you, Jou-san."  
  
  
Jou blinks again, fast, and awkwardly laughs.  
  
"A-ahaha, sure...!"  
  
Jou's eyes shift awkwardly towards the one standing just behind him.  
  
  
_**The girl** with brown hair, dotted with glittery stars._  
  
... Mimi's eyes widen.  
  
\-- Suddenly, she's  _storming up to them_  -  _him_  --  
  
  
Koushiro tenses in his surprise, staring down at her --  
  
Mimi stares hard back up at him.  
  
  
_Frowns, **hard**.  
_  
  
Koushiro remains tense,  _wondering **if she** \--  
_  
  
" . . . He's very  _cute_! "  
  
  
She whirls back around, _beaming_ , suddenly, at Taichi --  
  
  
"He's your  _boyfriend_ , Taichi-san?!"  
  
  
" **BOYFRIEND?!** " Jou yelps, blushing  _furiously_ , suddenly, whirling to glare accusingly at Sora --  
  
  
" _You didn't tell me, Sora-kun--!!_ "  
  
  
(Sora looks about ready to give an exasperated sigh--)  
  
  
\-- Taichi's hand closes around Koushiro's own.  
  
  
" ... _Actually_ , **we're getting married**. "  
  
  
Raises Koushiro's hand slightly.  
  
  
Gently lifts Koushiro's ring finger from underneath.  
  
  
(Koushiro tries to not _**blush furiously**_ , himself.)  
  
  
The others stare at Koushiro's hand (ring finger), eyes widening in realization.  
  
  
Silence --  
  
  
" _No way_ \--!!" Mimi's squealing, hands slamming together in her excitement --  
  
" **MARRIED!?** I mean, uh, congrat--?!" Jou's _yelping_ , now, absolutely **failing** at hiding his blush.  
  
"What?! Taichi, didn't you just meet him _recently_ \--?!" That was Sora, now, eyes widened in _her own_ surprise.  
  
" _Sora-kun--!!_ "  
  
  
" _Taichi, **you**..._ "  
  
  
Taichi's eyes land on **Yamato**.  
  
  
Yamato looks exasperated, but one of his eyebrows is raised, as if _silently communicating_ \--  
  
Taichi _stares hard, back_ \--  
  
Yamato blinks. ... Takes in Taichi's stare.  
  
  
_His eye widens a bit more slightly_.  
  
  
( _"Taichi, what's going on--?"_ ) Yamato almost seems to ask. **Blinks a bit suddenly** , _himself_ , _**as if**_ \--  
  
Taichi blinks quickly, too -- **is Yamato** \--  
  
  
( " _I'll tell you later "_ )  
  
( "  _Okay, but you owe me "_ )  
  
  
Yamato's eyes shift warily towards Jou.  
  
Though Jou was in the middle of freaking out before, he catches Yamato's eye, and _Jou's own eyes_ **widen**.  
  
  
_**Koushiro**_ blinks, now, watching --  
  
  
Jou laughs warily, breaking the gaze and looking off to the side with a groan.  
  
  
... Taichi grins.  
  
  
"...Yeah. Thanks for the congrats, Jou," Taichi adds, with a grin.  
  
  
Almost laughing when Jou seems to _**jump**_ at being addressed again.  
  
  
( _It'll be fun, teasing Jou again_. )  
  
( _Koushiro agrees_. )  
  
  
" We are. ... **We're getting married**. "  
  
Koushiro nods, too.  
  
*  
  
"  **Yeah** _._ "  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- THEY FINALLY DID IT  
> \- TAICHI YOU FINALLY DID IT GOOD JOB TAICHI  
> \- ANYWAY SO WHERE WERE THE REST OF THE CHOSEN W E L L -----  
> \- JOU I LOVE YOU  
> \- THE CHOSEN CHILDREN ALL OF YOU I LOVE YOU TOO  
> \- TAICHI YAGAMI AND KOUSHIRO IZUMI I LOVE Y O U -------  
> \- WOW I REALLY LOVE DIGIMON ADVENTURES  
> -  
> -  
> \- the frequently shifting eyes are happening for a (if small) reason maybe  
> \- originally written: June 17, 2018 (actually a few days before "Summertime"....?? ?)


	37. 37 (Encountered)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- verse: Repeat-verse (post. Ch. 21, occurs at the same parallel time as a certain other chapter?)  
> \- notes: mostly safe this chapter but... it's Repeat, so implied things... ;;  
> \- i'm so sorry  
> \- this is more like stream of consciousness writing from that timeframe but. I tried ??  
> \- basically ('if they [did] meet') (' what /thoughts/ would they want to /convey/ ? ')  
> \- who knows if any of it actually happened this way or n amount of /more/ ways  
> \- word count: 889 (ficlet)

Standing there --  
  
a strangely -- impassioned? -- look on his face --  
  
... He sucks in a breath.  
  
" . . . **Hey** . "  
  
The figure notices him, standing there.  
  
Uncurls his crossed arms and bent legs, standing straighter --  
  
\-- Gives a strained smile.  
  
" . . . **Koushiro** . "  
  
"  ** _T a i c h i - s a n_** \-- "  
  
_He's frozen_ , _for a moment_ \--  
  
" _ **Taichi-san**_ ," he says again --  
  
Taichi holds up a hand to shush him.  
  
Walks forward, just a bit --  
  
\-- enough that they're close enough to hear each other...  
  
... but there's still _a distance_.  
  
"...You're taller... wow."  
  
"I'm. ... **Glad**."  
  
Taichi sucks in a small breath.  
  
"...That you're **alive**."  
  
Exhales -- stares at Koushiro, giving a strange, sad smile.  
  
*  
  
[1]  
  
"I. **Messed up**."  
  
" Because I made  **the wrong choice, the wrong _d e c i s i o n_** "  
  
*  
  
(because  **I'M**   _the_   **l e a d e r** )  
  
*  
  
" **It was BECAUSE OF ME that y o u--** "  
  
The next thing _either of them knows_ \--  
  
Koushiro's _crossing the distance between them_ , _swooping down_ \--  
  
\-- draws  
  
the younger Taichi into a hug.  
  
_Taichi's shaking a bit_ \-- he can **feel it** \--  
  
Koushiro shudders himself, feeling the light brush of Taichi's hair against the side of his own face, with yet-unshed ( _but forming_ ) **tears** , as his hands **clench** into the fabric of _Taichi's childhood shirt_ \--  
  
( " **STOP IT!** " )  
  
( " _Please, stop_ " ) ( " **t h i s !** " )  
  
( "  _y o u_ " )  
  
( "  ** _I_** " )  
  
( "  **WE** " )  
  
( " _have to **stop**_ \-- " )  
  
*  
  
[1.5]  
  
" **It's not your fault!**  It's  ** _not_**  ' _your fault_ '!!"  
  
" **Taichi-san--** "  
  
" **You're**   _only_   **just a child** , too!!"  
  
" _Like **I**  was_\--!!"  
  
( " L i k e  _h e_  w a s" )  
  
("And  _even when_   **I**   ** _wasn't--_** ")  
  
( " a  **c h i l d** " )  
  
( but an  **a d u l** \-- )  
  
" _You shouldn't have to shoulder this burden--!_ "  
  
( "  _W h y ?!_ " )  
  
( " ** _Why does THE WORLD expect HIM to--_** " )  
  
( "  _It's not your job to--_ " )  
  
"  **I t ' s o k ...!** "  
  
"It's  **okay**  --  _it's okay_ \--"  
  
" ** _It's ok if you can't create a miracle, Taichi-san!!_** "  
  
*  
  
( "  _That's not what I want!!_ " )  
  
( " What I want is  **for YOU**   _to_ \-- " )  
  
*  
  
[2]  
  
"Koushiro --  _when I tried to **keep you from fighting**_ \--"  
  
"...It wasn't because... I didn't _believe in you_."  
  
" _Not_  because -- I didn't _trust in your abilities_."  
  
"... **But I think you knew that**..."  
  
"... _Now_ , too."  
  
Koushiro ...  
  
... slowly nods.  
  
*  
  
Koushiro _crosses the distance between them_ \--  
  
_swoops down_ \--  
  
\-- takes the younger Taichi into a hug.  
  
*  
  
[3]  
  
" [I s h o u l d] return this to [y o u] "  
  
Taichi holds out --  
  
it's. His Crest.  
  
His  ** _Crest of Knowledge_**  --  
  
"... **This** , too--"  
  
And his Digivice.  
  
Koushiro can't help but _stare_ at them, the _**Digivice**_ , and _the golden tag_ he _doesn't have here_ \--  
  
_but_ \--  
  
" [ ...I... **have it** , _**Taichi-san**_. ] "  
  
He gently pulls out _his own Crest of Knowledge_ from his shirt pocket --  
  
\-- holds it out.  
  
Taichi stares, in almost **_surprise_** , one of _the first genuine reactions_ he's shown besides --  
  
(  ~~ **R e m o r s e ?**~~ )  
  
" ... **Oh!!** _That's_ \-- "  
  
" **That's** \-- "  
  
( [ _Seemingly at a loss of words_?--] )  
  
" --... **Great** , _Koushiro_!... "  
  
Taichi did seem surprised, but it settles, into a slightly _pained_ , if gentle, smile --  
  
" ... **I knew you could do it** . "  
  
( " **You always do**  " )  
  
  
  
( **Doesn't he always, a f t  e r a l l ?** )  
  
*  
  
There's a quiet moment of silence.  
  
Koushiro breaths in --  
  
\-- _Crosses the distance between them_  
  
\-- _Pulls_ the younger Taichi-san into a hug.  
  
*  
  
**Taichi is still against him**.  
  
Koushiro can _feel_ the light brush of Taichi's hair against his face --  
  
Koushiro stills, himself --  
  
\-- lightly letting out a breath ( _he had been holding_ )  
  
*  
  
" ... **Thank you**. _Thank you_. "  
  
( " **T a i c h i - s a n** " )  
  
" _But_ , **Taichi-san** , _you should **return those** to_ \--"  
  
( " **H i m** " )  
  
( " _The other Koushiro_ " )  
  
( " **Your** _**Koushiro**_ " )  
  
Taichi is -- shaking, just slightly, in his arms.  
  
( _Koushiro gently holds him, tightening his hold, **just a little** \--_ )  
  
"  **B u t** , "  
  
" _**I don't know**_ "  
  
" _if he_ ... "  
  
( " **made it** " )  
  
( " _if he's_ " )  
  
( " **alive** " )  
  
Koushiro draws back gently -- _just a little_ \--  
  
**Moves to wipe the tears threatening to fall --**  
  
Sees the younger Taichi's own eyes --  
  
" **I'm sure**... "  
  
( " _That he's_ " )  
  
" ... **that somewhere** "  
  
" he's "  
  
( _There's a Koushiro_ )  
  
" ... **waiting to meet you**. "  
  
( _Somewhere_ ,  
  
there's "  **a** " **Koushiro**  
  
_that needs those more than he does, **right now**_ \-- )  
  
  
(  _and, the origina--_ )  
  
(  _and **even not the origina** \-- -- _)  
  
*  
  
...Taichi slowly _closes his eyes_ \--  
  
\-- **opens them** \--  
  
... Smiles.  
  
*  
  
( **Koushiro** can **just visualize him** ,  
  
[   _or maybe he doesn't have to  v i s u a l i z e_    ]  
  
_**Taichi**_ ,  
  
turned around,  
  
  
against the _wide orange sunset_ [or was it  **dark blue? both?** ]  ** _sky_** ,  
  
giving _as bright a smile as he can manage_ \--  
  
  
_pained, too pained_  
  
but it's [still]  ** _genuine_** \--)  
  
  
[  **the sunlight**  bouncing off his ( u n s c a t h e d )  **goggles --** ]  
  
[  ** _his wild hair swaying --_** ]  
  
[  _but, gently --_ ]  
  
*  
  
[ t h e s u n - s e t t i n g ]  
  
*  
  
" **Hey** , **Koushiro**? "  
  
  
" _I'm glad that you're_ \-- "  
  
  
( "  **Alive** " )  
  
  
" _Here._ "  
  
  
*  
  
  
"  **R E P E A T?_** "  
  
  
*  
  
  
( _his mouth_ slowly forming _the word_ ,  
  
**the answer**  
  
silently-- )  
  
  
  
"_ **YES** "  
  
  
*  
  
" _ **TAICHI-SAN**_ \-- **!!** " Koushiro _chokes out_ , as he _reaches_ , **desperately** \--  
  
*  
  
Taichi's eyes are gently shut.  
  
*  
  
[ The _d i g i t a l d i m e n s i o n_ **flickers**? -- ]  
  
  
*  
  
  
[ _The sunset fades_ ]  
  
  
*  
  
  
[ _slowly drifting_ ]  
  
  
[ into ]  
  
  
[ **pure black** ]  
  
  
*  
  
  
**Koushiro Izumi**  
  
(with his _completely scarred legs_ , under the sheets)  
  
(in _his tiny home_ )  
  
**wakes up**.  
  
  
*  
  
_Breathes in_ \--  
  
(-- _looks to the side_ \--)  
  
*  
  
_**Taichi-san**_  
  
(  _his_  Taichi-san )  
  
is there.  
  
*  
  
When Taichi( - _san_ ) holds him (crying??) --  
  
Against him,  
  
Koushiro cries, too.  
  
*  
  
( " Koushiro " )  
  
*  
  
( "  **L I V E ! !** " )  
  
*  
  
( " _**T h a n k y o u**_ " )  
  
*  
  
*  
  
" **Convey** [ **your** ] **thoughts** " " [  _while_ ][ _you're_ ] **still alive**. " ~ [Jin](http://fuckyeahkagepro.tumblr.com/post/178090151693) (Shizen no Teki-P), Kagerou Project Producer / Composer  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- TAICHI AND KOUSHIRO I LOVE YOU  
> \- REPEAT!TAICHI I LOVE YOU  
> \- I REALLY MEAN IT OK  
> \- ( I ' M S O R R Y )  
> \- HONESTLY CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SCREAM WITH ME ABOUT TAISHIRO  
> \- I LITERALLY JUST WANT TO SCREAM AND CRY ABOUT TAISHIRO  
> \- EVEN IF YOU JUST THROW TAISHIRO THOUGHTS OR RANDOM HEADCANONS AT ME  
> \- I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO WRITE THINGS OR GIVE UNIQUE IN DEPTH RESPONSES EACH TIME BUT I'LL LISTEN  
> \- I'm not kidding the entire fanbase could burn around me and I'D STILL BE HERE CRYING I'VE BEEN CRYING ABOUT THEM SINCE PRE-2K15  
> \- originally written: June 21, 2018 ;; (IT'S BEEN LIKE HALF A YEAR H O W)


	38. 38 (Future)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- i am truly sorry  
> \- verse: semi-canon-compliant; post-02(.....????), or basically /pre-epilogue/; /non-Tri compliant/ (..... ??? ?? ?)  
> \- it's pretty close to the epilogue though ;; ;; ;;  
> \- 'if you kept Taishiro canon compliant, how would it---'  
> \- meanwhile, too, AUs of AUs of AUs of AUs ----  
> \- who even knows what kind of verse this is anymore -----  
> \- word count: 432 (ficlet)

" **Your work** in this field **has been greatly appreciated** , Izumi-san."  
  
Koushiro nods ( '  _modestly_ ' ) in response.  
  
He's being led through _**the adoption center**_ \--  
  
"Thanks to **your efforts** , there's been **notable changes** in **the adoption process** here, and elsewhere."  
  
(" _There are many others that deserve that recognition_...") Koushiro _wants_ to say, but _he knows better_.  
  
He nods politely in response again. "...Thank you."  
  
The other man gives the barest of a pursed smile -- then turns away, leading him on.  
  
They reach **a room**.  
  
  
_A room where his --_  
  
"It was _unfortunate_ , what happened to **your wife**..."  
  
  
Koushiro starts --  
  
  
"O-Oh. That... wasn't quite the case."  
  
  
( _" **S h e w a s n ' t m y w i f e** "  _ )  
  
  
The man 'helping' pauses, not turning to him, a hand positioned on the door handle.  
  
"...Though I don't know the details, it was _a terrible thing_ , **was it not**?"  
  
Koushiro's heart clenches.  
  
He looks down --  
  
\-- nods, even though the other man can't see.  
  
  
" . . .  **Yes** , " _he admits_.  
  
  
(   _ **That she died**   _)     (   ** _partly because of_** )     (   _ **m e**   _)     (   _ **giving birth** to- **m y** \--  _)  
  
  
The man opens the door.  
  
To the " **nursery** ".  
  
  
  
Koushiro walks through as if _in slow motion_.  
  
  
  
Reaches the (still small, but much better than when there were _none of them_ ) area holding _his_ \--  
  
  
**His daughter**  
  
  
**His baby daughter** \--  
  
  
  
She looks  
  
_Just like_ [ ~~h i m~~ ? -- ]  
  
  
... no  
  
**Just like her mother**  
  
  
**Her mother** , who had **the same**  
  
**Dark red hair**  
  
( _**Pure black eyes**_ )  
  
  
... _Olive-toned skin_  
  
  
...She has _short_ , fuzzy hair.  
  
  
_Thick red eyebrows  
_  
  
Sleeping, tensed up, face scrunched up in a frown.  
  
  
(  _Probably she feels_ **someone** is **m i s s i n g** \-- )

  
  
Koushiro feels tears filling his eyes. Blinks them back.  
  
The other man picks her up.  
  
Koushiro takes her.  
  
Cradles her gently.  
  
  
**Koushiro didn't really know her mother**  
  
  
he only met her **a few times** , until --  
  
\-- there was news of **the accident**  
  
  
she had been his **surrogate**  
  
but there was **a terrible accident**  
  
  
they were only **just barely** able to save  
  
  
**his daughter** \--  
  
**his baby daughter**  
  
  
that he'd soon be --  
  
  
(  taking **home** )  
  
where he lived  
  
  
. . . _Alone_  
  
  
"  _It's nice to meet you_ , " he murmurs softly to her.  
  
  
She shifts in his arms ... _just slightly_.  
  
Eyes still closed.  
  
Her mouth is shifting --  
  
  
" ...' **Kami** \--'...'--chan.' "  
  
The frown lessens.  
  
  
A small hand shifts just slightly to curl into his shirt.  
  
  
(  _'  'Kami-chan  ' , as she'd soon come to be (nick)named by both_ **her family** and **her own** 's doing  
  
would eventually realize many things  
  
  
about her "  **f a  m i l y** " )  
  
  
(    **about   h e r s e l f**    )  
  
  
*  
  
  
(    ** _Homeostasis smiles._** )  
  
  
*  
  
  
**Only just beginning.**  
  
  
*  
  
  
**_Child_  
**  
of **_Light_** ,  
  
of  
  
the  
  
Spring  
  
  
*  
  
  
**A _n d_ . . .**  
  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- i. am. so. sorry  
> \- Koushiro voice ('HOMEOSTASIS GET OUT. GET OUT. G E T O U T')  
> \- Homeostasis voice ('OK')  
> \- KOUSHIRO VOICE ('G E T O U T') ('NOT LIKE THAT') ('NO') ('WHY')  
> \- Homeostasis voice ('you'll see')  
>   
> \- anyhow. as for. 'Kami--'  
> \- young me got stuck on that for her (...so-called) ' name ' (from "Kamiya"... before I knew... but alas)  
> \- BECAUSE OF A LOT OF DUMB (AND EXTREMELY SIMILAR TO HERE) OC FIC PLOT IDEAS YOUNG ME HAD INVOLVING HER  
> \- except it's not really her NAME-name (now) ok pls don't. worry (kind of)  
> \- it's more like a personal/familial nickname (of her younger self) for... tbh idek.  
> \- 'Kamika'? 'Kamiko'? Which one sounds better?? Alternatives?? 'Kamika' seems like a more real name....  
>   
> \- Koushiro probably tried to argue against her gaining this ""nickname"" too because he's 'the only sane one' but  
> \- ' it's like '/gami/ !! like in ' Yagami ' !! ' ' That's... not really the same thing..... '  
> \- ' Wouldn't she dislike it because--- ' (implied by her) ' I LIKE IT '  
>   
> \- ANYWAY YEAH HOMEOSTASIS  
> \- ' K A M I ' --  
> \- KOUSHIRO VOICE ('I HATE YOU')  
> \- HOMEOSTASIS VOICE ('I know.')  
>   
> \- ..... WHERE THE HECK /IS/ TAICHI BY THE WAY TAICHI-SAN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE AREN'T YOU ETC. ETC. ETC. w e l l  
> \- ..... a lot. of stuff. happens. a lot. of. stuff. a l o t o f  
> \- Taichi voice kinda. weakly ('w h y.')  
>   
> \- also ah yeah. Koushiro. and his. 'career'. NOT the same timeline. Canon-compliant etc. etc.  
> \- but. at the same time he was still aiming to do ... this ? Securing a lot more rights for -- yeah. Y e a h  
> \- KOUSHIRO WHY CAN'T YOU SLOW DOWN ----- (' Nope ')  
>   
> \- Koushiro. Koushiro. Koushiro s t o p  
> \- Taichi. Taichi. you too. Taichi s t o p  
> \- TAICHI VOICE IN THE DISTANCE ('I'M TRYING') ('BUT LIFE HATES ME-----')  
> \- ... also. This 'part'. Something like. A prologue ?? ? (maybe)  
>   
> \- also, if it wasn't clear (since it probably wasn't) re: Kami--'s birth: (donor child.)  
> \- i.e. Koushiro is INFERTILE. Considering his backstory. This is going to be. A big theme. In more ways than just plot reasons. Yeah.  
> \- I had other options to take this in too (generally adopted, Koushiro and a surrogate just arranging this normally...)  
> \- but I think I prefer this option rn. Yeah. Reasons. (It's possible those other options happen in other timelines too but. Reasons. Yeah.)  
> \- So, Koushiro (here) is not 'Kami's biological father. This is important. Very important. Koushiro's backstory. ... Important.


	39. 39 (Friendship)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- notes: mostly safe this chapter, but, R...epeat-verse.... ?? ??? ?  
> \- except. this time, it's not. quite. Taishiros. (?!)  
> _ (THEY'RE. STILL. in the background. yeah.)  
> \- instead. note the chapter title aaaand ...  
> \- see the chapter end notes for more if you want to be spoiled!  
> \- word count: 507 (ficlet)  
> \- if you're new to this fic and finding it through certain tags, please at least read to Ch. 3 first !! ?

_The leaves of Kyoto's trees, in all of their golden-orange glory, were truly beautiful_.  
  


\-- Yamato Ishida mused, thinking, as he strode through the streets of Kyoto at a steady pace.

Though, he wasn't exactly an _appreciator of beauty_ , he thought.

Well, in a way, he was, too. Just -- _not often_?

... It wasn't something he thought about **often**. Yeah.

  
Take -- **girls** , for example.

Yamato Ishida, being _a teenage boy_ , could _**recognize** a beautiful girl_ , but he was never _often_ ...

(    ** _attracted_**    )

  
...  **?** ( _Something like that_.)

  
( It was something he was  _fine_  with, too. )

  
( _But_ ... **still** ... )

( **Something** ... _felt_ ... )

**  
[    o f f    ]**

  
\-- _he sees **a truck**_ ,

_  
in front of his vision_.

**  
A truck** , about to _**strike** a_ \--

_**  
redhead**_   **?** _gir_   **?** \--

  
( "  _O_ - **Oi** \-- **!!**   " )

**  
** [ " **LOOK OUT--!!** " ]

  
\-- Suddenly,  _they're_

_  
flat on the ground_

**side-by-side each other**

_  
panting heavily_ , _staring_ into each others' **widened eyes** \--

  
\-- Yamato blinks.

_His eyes widen_.

**Hers, too** \--

  
\-- they hastily break apart, _trembling_.

" **H-hey**...! Are you --  _all right--?_ "

  
He asks it, _**breathlessly**_ , but she's standing up, too.

  
In fact, she seems slightly more **composed** , brushing with --

_trembling hands_ \--

dirt off **her blue pants**.

  
"... _I think so_. **Yeah**..."

  
The girl murmurs, hesitatingly, as she adjusts.

  
Yamato feels himself winding down a bit, too --

  
\-- They both appear to be _calming_ , if slowly.

  
( _but at least they're_ **breathing** )

  
(    ** _alive_**   --   )  
  


" **Takenouchi Sora**. I don't _live here_ , actually, but..."

"... _my father works here_ , at **a University** , so **I'm visiting**."

  
She blinks at him, earlier startled expression settling into a --

\-- _gentle smile_.

He _stares_ \--

  
\-- then mentally _shakes himself_ , trying to **relax**.

"And you...?"

  
"... **Ishida Yamato**."

  
He pauses, trying to sort out his thoughts --

  
"... _I'm visiting_ , too. **Temporarily** , though -- my folks are in _**Shimane**_."

  
Her eyes widen in surprise ( ... _as predicted, somewhat_ ).  
  


" **Shimane**? You still have a ways to go..."

  
"Yeah, it's why I was _taking a break_ for the day."

  
They seem to simultaneously remember the near-accident, turning to stare at the street --

  
"...Seems _it was good that I did_."

  
The girl ... **hesitates**?

(  _was she_ **flushing** , _slightly_?  )

  
\-- then, turns, to

\-- _smile_ , _gently_ ,

\-- **at him**

... _again_.  
  


"... **Thank you**. For -- **saving me**."

  
... He tries to not _flush red_ , himself.

  
"... _It's fine_."

**  
But --**

  
" **You** , _too_..."

  
( _Didn't she_ \-- )

  
[ _simultaneously try to **save him** , too_ ... ? -- ]

  
[ after all, the truck had been _swerving_ , **wildly** , near _both of them_ \-- ]

  
[ _she had jumped too, **and**_ \-- ]

  
"... Well, it was **_dangerous_**! "

She seems almost _embarrassed_? --

  
"...But, _it's good_ \-- that **we're both**..."

  
... He nods.

... Feels his lips curl up into --

**  
(  a smile  )**

  
[   "   _ **a l i v e**_   "   ]

  
" . . .  **Be careful**. _On your way back_. "

He thinks it might _end there_ , but _she seems almost_ \--

  
(      **Sad ... ?** )

  
"... _Hey_ , **might you be staying around here** , _for now_ \--? "

  
"--Huh? _Yeah_ , for _a bit_..."

  
" ...  _ **Then**_... "

  
She smiles, with **finality**.

A _calm_ , relaxed **smile** \--

\-- _he smiles back_.

**  
** ( **More naturally.** )

  
"  _Just for a bit_... until you have to _get going_... "

" ... **It's a beautiful day** ,   _so why don't we_ **enjoy it**? "

 

Yamato Ishida did not often personally find _girls_ " **beautiful** " (  _like that_ ).

... **But** , ** _this girl_**   --

 

( was )

 

(   _ **is** _ )

 

(    **beautiful**.   )

 

( " **Hey** , Yamato **?** " )

 

[  "  **Let's help** _save them_ **too** , all right **?** "  ]

[  "  **Yeah.** Let's go."  ]

 

*

[  **the Crests**  ]

  
[   _of **Friendship**  and  **Love**  _ ]

_  
_ [  _**g l o w**  _]

_  
*_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>  \- characters: Yamato Ishida + Sora Takenouchi  
> \- pairing: Sorato (implied)  
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
> \- HEY SO I NEVER SAID I DIDN'T LIKE SORATO OK  
> \- IN FACT I SUPPORT IT VERY MUCH THANK YOU  
>   
> \- ok but tbh? literally any and every ship I have is possible in my verse  
> \- AND I HAVE A LOT OF THEM ESPECIALLY LGBTQIA+ SHIPS OK I MEAN YOU'RE READING A TAISHIRO  
> \- but yeah since this is the 'main' verse w e l l  
>   
> \- also if you think they're not some form of LGBTQIA+ despite being Sorato too idek what to tell you  
> \- imo Yamato leans partly. (demi? ace? idek which tbh)  
> \- while both are either bi or pan and/or polyam depending on preferences/verse I put them in ? ??  
> \- basically in my semi-/partly-canon compliant verses you will see Soratos. pls deal  
> \- tbh I always liked Sorato (even ever since I was young me I never minded it) so ;; ;;  
>   
> \- since I already used "Love" for an unrelated chapter title this one gets "Friendship" ;A;/  
> \- they're in Kyoto. Why Kyoto? Hmm. Hmmmm. ..... Hm  
> \- (I wonder where Yamato's extended family lives and why this is significant)  
>   
> \- anyhow, works on Yamato voice a bit more ... (young me has. quite the dislike-like relationship with him. don't ask.)  
> \- (it's been getting a lot better in recent years though. Takeru though. TAKERU. T A K E R -- G E T O U ----)  
> \- (that is totally not Daisuke voice and why is Digimon like this)  
> \- Yamato though. You're ok. You're getting better. By "Our Future" you were better too. just. chill out. pls. p l s----  
>   
> \- ... ok back to this part. There's a reason Sora's only calling him "Yamato". A reason. Ok.  
> \- for more on that, this video explains it pretty well:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_pmIKOp2bA  
> \- (and this is basically how Sorato also slowly became canon in Adventure without many Westerners realizing until YEARS later. Yeah. Thanks, US dub.)


	40. 40 (Don't)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- verse: Adv!Repeat-verse  
> \- advised to read most of the rest of the fic before this chapter (or at least up to Ch. 22)  
> \- warnings: character 'death' more obviously shown  
> \- (i'm sorry)  
> \- (i'm very sorry)  
> \- more notes in the chapter's end notes!  
> \- word count: 216 (drabble / ficlet)

" **KOU** - _ **SHI**_ - _ **ROOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!**_ \-- "  
  
  
_Taichi's_ \--  **screaming**.  
  
**_Sobbing_**  --  
  
  
Hands reaching fast,  _fast_ , for the nearby ~~rail?~~ , for  _past that ~~rail?~~  _,  
  
_As if he's lost all sense_  --  
  
  
( _blinded, yet all he can see  
  
is his **BEST FRIEND**  at **THE BOTTOM OF THE BRID** \--_)  
  
  
\-- **A hand grabs** at his arm.  
  
  
_Yanks_  him back --  
  
  
He struggles wildly, blinded ( _by his own_ **tears** ) --  
  
  
"      ** _TAICHI   !!!_** "  
  
  
\-- instead of  
  
  
(    _ **P U N C H E S**    _)  
  
  
\-- _dragged into_  
  
  
_**a fierce HUG**_.  
  
  
Taichi's eyes slowly widen in his shock.  
  
  
**_Yamato's_**  holding him tightly --  
  
_**preventing him** FROM_  --  
  
  
"  **Taichi**... _ **!!**_ " Yamato's _whispering_ , **harshly** , again,  
  
  
(     "      **D   O   N   '   T**       "     )  
  
  
(   ' **IF YOU DO** ,       ** _everything!!_** \-- '   )  
  
  
_Taichi's breathing is_ **wild**. **He's not ok**.  
  
  
But -- **somehow** , this _action of_ \--  
  
  
(   ** _h i s f r i e n d_** _\--_ )  
  
  
_Taichi nearly chokes_ on _his own sobs_.  
  
_  
i couldn't save him_   **i couldn't save him**   ** _i couldn't save him_**   **i couldn't save him _i couldn't save him_**  --  
  
  
He has _no idea_ how _long_ Yamato **holds him there for** ,  
  
_**supporting him**_.  
  
  
*  
  
  
(   "    **_You've got to_**     "   )  
  
  
  
(   "      ** _breathe_** "   )  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
(  **He breathes.**  )  
  
  
*  
  
  
Taichi Yagami  
  
wakes up.  
  
  
*  
  
  
Opens his eyes.  
  
  
(  **A little.**  )  
  
  
*  
  
  
**R E P E A T?_  
  
  
N/Y?_**  
  
  
*  
  
  
"    **Y E S**     . . . .   "  
  
  
*  
  
  
The world breaks apart.  
  
  
*  
  
  
**He can still feel** _**Koushiro's**_  
  
  
_Digivice_  
  
_**and**_  
  
**Crest**  
  
  
... _brushing against his legs_.  
  
  
*  
  
  
Taichi Yagami  
  
**opens his eyes**.  
  
  
*  
  
  
(    **I have to  [ t h a n k  Y a m a t o ]  later.**    )  
  
  
*  
  
  
**He's saved**.  
  
  
saved **saved** _saved_ **saved** _**saved**_  
  
  
**_Koushiro's saved_**  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
**Taichi breathes** _a sigh of relief_.  
  
  
*  
  
  
_Time moves on_.  
  
  
*  
  
  
(  _Somehow_ ,  )  
  
  
(    **D A R K N E S S**     )  
  
  
(  ...  _feels_ **further away**  .  )  
  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -  
> -  
> \- characters: Taichi, Yamato, (Koushiro),  
> \- pairings: Taishiro, Yamachi (Yamato/Taichi) friendship, ..... YamaTaiKou mmmaybe implied ..... ?? ??  
> -  
> warnings: a kind of almost self-sacrificing attempt ?? ?  
> \- (in their defense it's more like they're just SERIOUSLY FREAKING OUT and not thinking rationally but ;; ;;)  
> \- (more warnings if you've read up to and/or read chapter 3 or watched the amvs separately:)  
> \- a direct aftermath of "THE BRIDGE" scene (in motion)  
> \- more notes after this  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> \- BASICALLY CAN SOMEONE PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE MORE. YAMATAIKOU. PLS. P L S  
> \- I'VE BEEN HAVING FEELINGS LATELY ?? ??? ? WHY. WHY. W H Y  
> \- honestly you guys polyships are AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL and DESERVE MORE RECOGNITION and, and----  
> \- ok that aside I'm actually . seriously sorry for this chapter ;;  
> \- basically. guess who helps keep Taichi on track. when Koushiro can't. s O B  
> \- or TRIES to anyway. desperately. S O B S M O R E  
> \- (/THIS IS A TAIYAMACHI / YAMATAIKOU HATE FREE ZONE/)  
> -  
> \- I LEGIT STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THE SEQUEL MOVIE TEASER TRAILER  
> \- USED MY FAVORITE ADVENTURE "KOUSHIRO AT SUNSET" MOMENT (WHICH ALSO OCCURS HERE YEAH)  
> \- FOR KOUSHIRO'S /SECONDS-LONG FLASH/  
> \- (AND I WROTE THIS PART /MONTHS/ AGO)


	41. 41 (Thought)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- verse: Adv!Repeat-verse (... main Adv!Repeat-verse)  
> \- advised to read up to about Ch. 21-22 first  
> \- this chapter mainly connects to ? Ch. 11 though  
> \- arc: Piemon arc  
> \- I ' M S O R R Y  
> \- see end notes for warnings/etc.  
> \- word count: 692 (whoa ! a slightly longer chapter ! for once ! @ me why do you write like this tbh)  
> \- ok but at least they add up ?! we're somehow almost 30k-ish ?!? (THIS ISN'T EVEN ALL OF IT)

_Koushiro's_  
  
_legs_  
  
_are_ **burning**  
  
*  
  
_Piemon advances  
  
towards  
  
**him**_  
  
*  
  
**A slow grin** _is forming_ on Piemon's face.  
  
*  
  
"  _You_   **k n o w**   _there is **no way out from this**_ , "  
  
"  **R i g h t**... **?!** "  
  
*  
  
_He c o u l d h a v e_ \--  
  
**f a l l e n**  
  
_to his knees_  
  
**never**  
  
_finding the_ **strength**  
  
_to_ **stand**  
  
**back up --**  
  
*  
  
**Koushiro**  
  
_instead_  
  
**faces Piemon**  
  
( **e v e n i f** , )  
  
( inside )  
  
( ...he's still **t r e m b l i n g** )  
  
( ... **a bit** , )  
  
*  
  
"  **P e r h a p s.** "  
  
Koushiro  
  
_replies_ ,  
  
_**cooly**_  
  
*  
  
_**The others**_  (... _sans one_ **important person** ),  
  
_are in_ **the background** ,  
  
_watching_ ,  
  
_**wide-eyed**_ ,  
  
**with --**  
  
( **confusion** ? )  
  
(   _and_   )  
  
(    **h o r r o r**    )  
  
*  
  
\--  **Tentomon is with him**.  
  
*  
  
( But, at this  ** _crucial point_** , )  
  
( what **s h o u l d** )  
  
( **_c a n_** )  
  
(  _h e_   )  
  
(    **d o** **\--**    )  
  
*  
  
[    _T a i c h i - s a n_    ]  
  
[    **i s a l r e a d y** \--   ]  
  
*  
  
[1]  
  
\-- A burst of light.  
  
" **Tentomon, _evolve_**...!"  
  
**Koushiro's widened eyes** _watch_ \--  
  
\-- _as AtlurKabuterimon appears_ ,  
  
before him.  
  
" **Koushiro-han** , **_you need to escape!!_** "  
  
" _I'll hold him off!!_ \-- "  
  
*  
  
**Piemon snarls --**  
  
\-- _caught **only slightly** by **surprise**_ , **but** \--  
  
*  
  
**Koushiro**  
  
... _doesn't look back_  
  
behind him  
  
*  
  
(  **h e d o e s n t w a n t t o s e e**   )  
  
(    **t h e i r f a c e s**    )  
  
*  
  
[1]  
  
... _in a_ **swift motion** ,  
  
**so fast**  
  
_it's barely seen_  
  
**by anyone** ,  
  
_suddenly_ ,  
  
**the Pibook --**  
  
\-- _is open_  
  
\-- **sitting** ,  
  
_in Koushiro's hands_  
  
as he  
  
**t y p e s**  
  
*  
  
[2]  
  
**Koushiro**  
  
**raises**  
  
**his hand**  
  
... _and_  
  
_begins_  
  
_**d r a w i n g**_  
  
*  
  
**[1]-[2]**  
  
**R E P E A T?_**  
  
*  
  
[1]  
  
" **NO!!** "  
  
**Piemon** is **yelling** ,  
  
_abruptly_ ,  
  
**all of a sudden** ,  
  
**_advancing_** ,  
  
_like a sword_  
  
_cutting through air_  
  
**straight at --**  
  
*  
  
[2]  
  
"    **N O ! ! !**     "  
  
_**Piemon is yelling**_ ,  
  
**abruptly** ,  
  
_w i l d l y_ ,  
  
_**advancing**_ ,  
  
**like a sword**  
  
_**cutting through air**_  
  
**straight at --**  
  
with a  **wild**  
  
**A N G R Y** , _almost_  
  
**F U R I O U S**  
  
**R A G E**  
  
**\-- straight at**  
  
\-- _aiming_     _**s t r a i g h t  a t**_  
  
*  
  
[1]  
  
... **the Pibook** _?_  
  
... _**or**_  
  
*  
  
[2]  
  
... Koushiro  
  
*  
  
**[**           ** _K_ o U s _h_ I _r_ O   -----**           **]**  
  
*  
  
**[1]-[2]**  
  
**A form**  
  
_bursts in_  
  
**t o  s h i e l d**  
  
**_h_    _i_    m**  
  
*  
  
_Koushiro_ **s t a r e s** ,  
  
**f o r  o n c e** ,  
  
(    ... _**?**_     )  
  
**completely**  
  
_**s h o c k e d**_  
  
*  
  
[  ** _T_**  -- ]  
  
[    **T A I C H I - S A N !!**   ** _?_**    ]  
  
*  
  
The attack connected .  
  
*  
  
(   b u t   )  
  
(    **w a i t**      )  
  
(      _e a r l i e r_      )  
  
(    **w a s n ' t    T a i c h i - s a n**     )  
  
(    **a l r e a d y**  )  
  
  
[    ~~ **a k e y c h a i n ?**~~    ]  
  
[    **~~_D_ E  _a_   D~~**    ]  
  
*  
  
**T h e y** _r e a l i z e_  
  
**at**  
  
**the same time**  
  
  
(  **P i e m o n**   )  
  
(  **t o o**   )  
  
*  
  
**T a i c h i**   _is still_ \--  
  
' **standing** '  
  
_with_  
  
_**his arms spread**_ ,  
  
**s h i e l d i n g ----**  
  
*  
  
[    **b l o o d**     ]    **\----**  
  
*  
  
(    _b u t_    ) --  
  
*  
  
(    **h e ' s _s t i l l_**    ) ----  
  
*  
  
" **KOUSHIRO** , "  
  
" _**GO**_ **!!!** "   
  
*  
  
**Taichi** \-- _gasps out_ ,  
  
*  
  
**as Piemon**  
  
_readies_  
  
**once again**  
  
_as if in a_  
  
**F L A S H**  
  
_**to**_ \-----  
  
*  
  
Koushiro is ready.  
  
*  
  
"      **YES !!!** "  
  
*  
  
Piemon is  
  
**F U R I O U S L Y** ,  
  
_**S H O U T I N G**_ ,  
  
*  
  
_As the world_  
  
**breaks apart**  
  
_around them_ ,  
  
*  
  
**Piemon's**  
  
**H A N D**  
  
_was s t r e t c h e d  o u t_  
  
**towards**  
  
**Koushiro**  
  
_ready to G R A B_  
  
*  
  
... but as the worlds  
  
**_B_   r   _E_   _A_   k**  
  
**Koushiro**  
  
_watches  
_  
  
**as      P i e m o n**  
  
_f a l l s  a w a y  
_  
  
**C R U S H E D**  
  
_by the_  
  
... **s _h_ a _d_ o w _s_**  
  
*  
  
[    **h i s**     ]  
  
[        _**f u r i o u s    g a z e**_         ]  
  
[      **n e v e r   b r e a k i n g**       ]  
  
*  
  
but  
  
*  
  
**Taichi**  
  
_seems to turn his head_ ,  
  
**slightly** ,  
  
_a somewhat_ **somber**  
  
_**g r i n**_  
  
on his face,  
  
_as **his eyes**_  
  
... **c l o s e**  
  
*  
  
( _but not before_ )  
  
  
( **they meet** )  
  
  
( **K o u s h i r o ' s** )  
  
  
( **e y e s** )  
  
*  
  
**T a i c h i --**  
  
_s w a y s  
_  
  
gently --  
  
  
*  
  
**_f_    a    _l   l_    i   n    _g_**  
  
*  
  
... **Koushiro Izumi  
**  
  
**opens**  
  
**his**  
  
**eyes**  
  
  
... _to **a darkened**_  
  
_c h i l d s_ '  
  
**room**  
  
*  
  
as if in  **s _l_ o _w_   _m_ o _t i_ o _n_** ,  
  
he  
  
**rises**  
  
_from his_  
  
**bed**  
  
*  
  
"   Hey,  ** _dear_**...  "  
  
" _Isn't it about time_ **w e** "  
  
" **t e l l** "  
  
" _K o u s h i r o_ ...  **?** "  
  
*  
  
_His eyes_  
  
water  
  
*  
  
[ **f o r** ]  
  
  
[ **t h e m** ]  
  
  
[ **t o o** ]  
  
*  
  
( b u t )  
  
  
( **n o t  j u s t** )  
  
  
(    _ **b e c a u s e  o f**_    )  
  
*  
  
[    **T a i c h i - s a n**    ]  
  
  
[    **w a s n ' t    j u s t**    ]  
  
  
[     _a k e y c h a i n_     ]  
  
  
[    **t h a t     t i m e** ]  
  
*  
  
  
'   **I**  ...  
  
  
...  **need  
**  
  
_to_    **d o  i t  c o r r e c t l y**  
  
  
**_n e x t  t i m e_**  '  
  
  
*  
  
  
[ **?????????** ]  
  
  
  
[  "   **You**  "  
  
              "  **ALREADY**   "  
  
                               "   **w e r e**   " **.**   ]  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
**R E P E A T?_**  
  
**N/Y?_**  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
Suddenly, [  **I**   ] pushed **y o u** aside and [ jumped into _the fray_ ]; at that moment, [ **the attack** ] slammed into [  **m e**   ]  
  
[  **Your eyes** ] and **my twisted body** were _like hazy reflections_ of **t h e  b l o o d**  that **sprayed everywhere  
**  
  
[   _If that_ **p r a i s e f u l   H e A T h A z E _laughed_** , “  **SERVES YOU RIGHT**! ” _a g a i n_ ]  
  
  
_Then this would be what you’d call_    [ **a normal summer day**. ]  
  
  
  
[  **But all of that ended today**.  ]  
  
  
  
~ [Kagerou Daze](http://izzyizumi.tumblr.com/post/172915493215/) [Song] Lyrics ( ~~slightly modified~~ ) ( C ) Jin / Shizen no Teki-P.  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>  \- warnings: the psuedo-character 'death's, kind of. dark. and. depressing. yeah ;;  
> \- also slight warnings for / CERTAIN SONG LYRICS / at the very end er (you've... seen them already though probably?...)  
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
> \- ok but seriously KOUSHIRO ;; ;; ;; (and... TAICHI ..... ;; ;; ;;)  
> \- as for Piemon (who is Pie/d/mon, if you didn't realize, thanks US-Japanese version spelling differences)  
> \- ... what does he notice ? ?? ?  
>   
> \- I threw in the KageDaze lyrics as a last minute thing bc. a . similar ?? ? ?? ? 'feeling'. but. yeah. yeah. y e a h  
> \- (I HATE THAT SERIES BTW) (@ JIN LITERALLY WHY) (jkIloveitandJin J U S T-----)  
> \- (I SWEAR IT GETS BETTER-----) (also me 'LITERALLY') ('IT'S BEEN LIKE 6+ YEARS') (' ~~FREE US~~ \-----')  
> \- (' ~~ACTUALLY DON'T BC THE MUSIC IS THAT GOOD BUT J U S T~~ ')  
> \- (ME YELLING INTO THE VOID 'PLEASE WATCH THE OFFICIAL KAGEPRO MUSIC VIDEOS!!! ALL OF THEM !!! P L S')  
> \- ('EVERYONE DESERVES TO KNOW THIS SERIES AND ITS MUSIC P L S')  
>   
>   
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMQpfih90Rt66dJ7X4Pn19y9NE4AgsxX4  
> \- ^ MY KAGEPRO MUSIC VIDEOS PLAYLIST IF YOU WANT TO  
> (just ah take note of any without official videos / ones that say "fanmade" yeah, those are non-canonical graphics wise)  
> (music wise though the lyrics and direct themes in them are still canon!!)  
> (ALSO DON'T WATCH THE OFFICIAL "RED" ANIME MUSIC VIDEO YET BC THAT SPOILS THE ENTIRE ANIME TO THE END)  
> (recommended you don't watch anything from the anime in fact until AFTER finishing the music videos first IF YOU DO aaaa)  
> (IT'LL EXPLAIN ITSELF)  
> \- (ok in all honesty this was like / the first ever time I wrote Piemon / so that was. interesting. h u h)  
> \- (tbh /I never really liked Piemon much at all/ he both creeps me THE HECK out and annoys me a lot too but  
> \- he strangely fits here huh. huh..... ... .. . )  
> \- (@ Piemon what even are you trying to do in this thing. ~~PLSdontbewritingyourselftooPLS~~ )


	42. 42 (Laugh)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- verse: Adv!Repeat-verse (/pre-Piemon arc/??)  
> \- which means: scarred!/Repeat!Koushiro  
> \- /does he finally get a break-----/  
> \- ( . . . . . . . )  
> \- except... aren't they like... wildly off course with this scene . . . . .  
> \- notes: overall some mix of light ? ?? angst and fluff ?? ? (for once)  
> \- soooo mostly safe but . . . . well, read on ?  
> \- word count: 827 (ficlet)

Koushiro sits there,

quietly,

(   ~~ **politely**~~   ** ~~?~~**   )

as he watches (  his  )

( **F R I E N D S** )

the others.

[ His belongings are carefully placed not far away ]

[ a  ~~m o s t i m p o r t a n t~~  item, tucked away in his bag ]

[  **his Pibook--**  ]  
[ perhaps it was set up ]  
[ perhaps not ]  
[ but ]

*

Koushiro is hit

with a huge splash of

.... **water**

*

In actuality, it _shouldn't have been too much of_

**an issue**

but --

*

[ in some, _a move to shield his_ **Pibook** ]

( _from the_ **water** )

*

[ or **perhaps** \-- ]

*

He had been sitting  _away_

because of

... **his injuries**

(  ~~his legs~~   )

( after all, **he** can't get )

( ... infections )

( right? )

( moreover, _they're_ **bandaged** \--

 _he can't get them wet_ , either way -- )

[ to be honest, **often** ,

... _he's_ **still in pain** ]

*

[   **even if he doesn't show it**   ]

*  
  


[ he's falling ]

  
*

[ **head first** \-- ]

[ _into the_ **w a t e r** \-- ]

*

[   . . . . . . . . . .   ]

*

"  ** _Gotcha!_** "

*

 **Taichi-san**  is _gazing down at him_ ,

(  ~~ **RELIEVED**~~  ?? )

\-- before

his expression breaks out, into  
  


... a beaming  
  


_smile._  
  
  


(   **as BRIGHT as THE SUN**   )

  
*

Koushiro

**feels his face flush**  
  


against Taichi's wet  ~~yet strangely ** _warm_**~~ **chest**

  
( Koushiro's eyes **widened in surprise** )  
  


( **warm cheek** _pressed gently_     **against** \-- )

*

"... _Easy_...!"

\-- Taichi-san moves to _carefully_ shift Koushiro back into place,

seated at the side of the lake --

*

He sits there, ( ~~**somewhat frozen**~~ ) somewhat **stunned**.

_Koushiro can't **stop his face**     _ **from** _\--_

*

 **Taichi sputters angrily** as _he comes back up_ , gasping for air, and _glaring at_ **Yamato**.  
  


Yamato shrugs.

*

Taichi

... flings a huge wave of water in Yamato's direction.

(Koushiro watches)

(still partly stunned)

(but this scene, before him--)

"Hey, watch it!"

Yamato's glowering --

\-- aiming to send the same kind of wave back towards Taichi --

*

**A fresh wave of water dumps over Yamato's head.**

*

There's silence --

 **Taichi** _**turns**_ , as _Yamato stares_ , **both in unison** \--

*

... Koushiro keeps _the straightest face he can possibly manage_.

Sitting there, **innocently**.

*

Yamato  _glares at **him**_  --  
  


[ **S P L A S H** ]

  
.....

  
*

" _Hey_ , **what was _that_ for **?!"

Taichi once again sputters in  _absolute indignation_.

".. _For being_   **an IDIOT.** "  
  


A (  ~~momentary?~~  )  _pause_. ...

(  ~~between them~~  ) --

  
"--And because I can't splash Koushiro."

*  
  
(  ~~" When **he**~~ ~~has~~ ~~**hislaptop**~~ ~~**near** "~~  )  
  
*

" I "

"don't believe **I** "

"can't"

"join in"

*

" ... "

*

" **But** , you _can't get_ \--"

[ your injuries ]

[ your legs ]

[ your ]

"-- **wet** , right--?"

 **Taichi's** asking it, concerned,

water dripping from his hair --  
  


"I believe I **don't have to take a passive position** "

" . . . "

  
"... if I'm **commanding you against Yamato-san**."

  
_A long pause_.

*

"  **All right** \-- _ **!!**_ "

**Taichi _whoops_**

\-- immediately

\-- once again, aiming a huge wave of water towards Yamato.

*

Yamato side-dives out of the way

*

... the water, instead, hits **Jou**.

(who had been approaching the lake, trying to enter  ~~without being seen,~~

behind him)

*

Jou comes back up _absolutely sputtering_ , glasses lopsided.

" _**You guys**_ \--!! "

*

[ _**WHAM**_ ]

Another wave in Taichi's direction.  
  


"  _ **Taichi-san**_ \-- !! "

  
Koushiro **yells a position** , _to **dodge**_ \--

 **Taichi _follows_**.

*

The water splashes harmlessly to the side --

Yamato had **missed**.

*

" **Really** , you're _doing this_ , _now_...?"

 **Sora** comes up.

Dressed in **the swimsuit** she had **retrieved** from **home** ,

 _ **before**_ \--

" _Sora-kun_..."

Jou acknowledges her with a bit of a whine, as the water drips down his face; from his glasses.

She dips into the lake.

 **Mimi** watches, from the side, not yet stepping in.

"I don't want to get my hair wet!"

"...but"

"if it means **getting to splash Yamato-san** "

"if from a distance"

"  **I want to be on Taichi-san and Koushiro-kun's team**! "  
  


_A beat_.

  
"... **So** , ... I'm on your team, then...?"

Sora asks Yamato, with -- a bit of a sigh.  
  


( **Taichi and Koushiro** are **definitely** **not** _trying to force back **laughs**_ )

  
"...Well, _if you want_ \--"

Yamato is saying it, but --  
  


" _Me, too_ ! On **onii-chan's team** \--!! "

 **Hikari** gleefully enters the lake.  
  


"  _Hikari -_ -" Taichi's laughing --

" _but_ , _we can't win_ with **only us** \-- "     ( **it's Yamato**  )   ( ~~_Sora too_~~ )   ( ~~_but_~~ )     ( _Mimi_ **and** ... **KOUSHIRO**... ~~can't~~   ~~really~~ )

  
"  **I'll** _join_ , **then** \-- ! "

 **Takeru** enters the lake

**grinning**

**absolutely** _D E V I O U S L Y_

**pointedly** _at **Taichi** ,_ and _not_ at **the sputtering Yamato**.  
  


"...If _we have Takeru_ , though, _**Yamato's** _ outnumbered!--"

  
"Hey, _no fair_! **I** _want to be on **onii-chan's team**  _!..." Hikari pouts.

  
" Perhaps

you _should_ be on his team, though, Hikari-san "

  
" to make it slightly more fair "

  
" ... **Ehhhh** .... "

  
( " **Fiiiine** " )

  
Sora glances at the still dripping wet ( **bemused** ) Jou --

  
"Well, **I guess** we're on the same team..."

*

**An all-out water war ensues.**  
  


_Koushiro's arm is flung out_ ,

as he **COMMANDS**  -- ( **TAICHI** , and, _**the rest of**_ \-- **h i s t e a m** ) -- from the side  
  


Mimi shouts and splashes gleefully from her end, too, also shouting advice.  
  


Takeru begins absolutely  _obliterating_  Yamato (particularly)

Yamato yells indignantly

Sora gives exasperated sighs

  
(Jou gets pulverized, too) --

*

Koushiro

laughs

*

 _The others_ **pause**

 _all turning to look_ \--

*

**Koushiro laughs**

_more than he has_

_in **a**_

**very long time**.

  
( he can't stop laughing -- )

*

"  **Koushiro-kun's** _laughing_ \--!! "

Mimi's _squealing_ , from the side, **beaming**.  
  


(but he can't see it)  (with eyes closed)

  
**Koushiro**

_abruptly_ begins to --

  
" **It's nice** to _see your_ **smile** ,

 _Koushiro-kun_ "

Sora says it now  
  


( Koushiro can't see her expression either, however )

( _perhaps_ , _smiling gently_ )

  
... **His vision**

swims back into **focus** \--

\--

\--

  
... **His friends**

_all smiling_

gently

*

[ **Taichi-san** ]

*

[ _looks_ slightly more **startled** \-- ]

[ -- _just slightly_ ]

*

" ... **Let's keep going** !! "

*

Sora says it, brightly.

*

The _all-out water war_ **continues**.

Yamato gets  _ **absolutely pulverized.**_

*

 _They're all laughing_.

*

[ . . . . . ]

*

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- [ ... to be continued ?? ? ]  
> \- [ I'M SORRY ]


	43. 43 (Probability)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- verse: Adventure (...Adv!Repeat? pre-Adv!Repeat? "Adventure"?? ? ?)  
> \- notes: for once, again, no extreme things here...! ;;  
> \- instead, /a conversation/.... .. .  
> \- word count: 154 (drabble / ficlet)

" **Do you know** the best way to break out of a"

"   **never-ending   loop**   "  
  


[  "  -- **T a i c h i - s a n ?**   "  ]

  
(  **Taichi** doesn't think Koushiro's **actually meaning** _to_ talk to him-- )

(  **Koushiro's voice** was **barely above** _a murmur_ , as he )

(strains to hear.)  
  


" **By the sheer force of _probability_** , _the_ **RESULTS**   **are absolutely endless**."

  
"Even if you"

  
" **have to try** "

  
" for **hundreds of thousands** \-- **millions** \-- of times "

" for **decades** , for **centuries** \-- "

" _for an_ "

" **e t e r n i t y** " ,  
  


" **Someday** , "

" **you will surely find**   **the correct path** . "

  
"Not finding the correct path is **not possible**."

" And, when putting it that way -- "

  
" **One is invincible** . "  
  


...  **Taichi** _keeps his eyes downcast_.

  
 **Koushiro** is silent, again, for a short time.

  
Until . . .

  
"We were"

" **c h o s e n** "

"... **for a reason** . "

  
 **Taichi can't see Koushiro's expression** , but --

he does see

Koushiro's mouth curling

into a **smile**.  
  


... Taichi can't help but

  
 **smile** ,

  
 **too**.

*

**R E P E A T?_**

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- so, how exactly /do/ you break out of a " never-ending timeloop? "  
> \- well . . . . .  
> \- (meanwhile, KOUSHIRO ? ?? ? . . . .)  
> \- ( ... Taichi ? ... )  
> \- I wonder where they are here

**Author's Note:**

> The full outline thus far (sans some new sections I've added since) is posted over at my Digimon tumblr, "izzyizumi", so this version is a slightly better "written" version ??
> 
> the link:  
> http://izzyizumi.tumblr.com/post/172990799460/
> 
> other end notes:  
> [1] football = soccer (in Japan)  
> [2] junior high school = "middle school" equivalent (in Japan)  
> (please note this is using mainly a Japanese school system however, NOT an American one - I'll have to figure out the college/higher education part though ... considering this AU ... yes)  
> [3] Hikarigaoka = "Heighton View Terrace" in the English dub


End file.
